Defining Moments

When I was a kid, my dad often told me, “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I know now, that he was quoting Teddy Roosevelt, but when I was growing up, I thought these were his words.

He certainly lived by them. He seemed to know and care about everyone. I recall driving through many of the towns that surrounded our area and he would point to businesses and houses and then tell the story of the people that worked and lived there.

I remember sitting at malls or airports with my dad and just watching the people, as they would walk past. We would rarely comment, we just sat and studied them. I learned a lot about expressions and emotions during those frenetic moments. I wanted to be like him so I began to care more about people than I cared about anything else. 

My dad wasn’t the only one that enjoyed and cared about people. My mother also spent a lot of time learning about the nature of individuals.

During my early teens mom was given an assignment from our church to be the Cultural Refinement Leader. This was an amazing opportunity for our family. Each month, she was responsible for leaning about a different culture and presenting what she learned in the form of a one-hour lesson to the other ladies in our local congregation.

To prepare for her class, she would practice her lessons on us. I was fascinated by the different cultures, beliefs and values that she was discovering. Sometimes, she would even invite people from these cultures to have dinner and spend the evening in our home. These experiences taught me to embrace the beauties of diversity. As a result, I learned to see other groups through the eyes of discovery and wonder

The Joy of Work

My mother also taught me how to work hard. At 4 years old, I began to receive chores that were specifically assigned for me to do each day. She was great at following up and I learned that it was better to meet or exceed her standards than it was to not get the chores done. I worked at something every day and when I got good at doing it, I was given a new assignment, something that was just a little bit harder and that would test me. I don’t remember ever living at home without a regular chore that was specifically assigned to me.  

At 12 years old I began my first real job throwing papers for the Whittier Daily News. In addition to delivering the paper, I was also responsible for collecting the monthly subscription fees. At least once a month, I visited each home and asked the subscriber to pay their bill

I quickly learned that if I provided good service, it was easier to get paid when collection time came around. I applied my dad’s formula and did my best to care for each customer. I routinely asked them to tell me where they wanted their paper to be delivered.  I held many jobs during my teenage years. This one taught me better than any of the others how to listen to what the customer wanted and needed.

A Different Kind Of Work

At 19 years old, I embarked on a two-year service mission for my church. I was assigned to serve in Maracaibo Venezuela and the surrounding areas. I learned to speak fluent Spanish and, in my heart I became a Venezuelan.

I learned many things from this pivotal experience; i.e. what it means to be a foreigner, the importance of service, the importance of working as a team, and the ability to harness my individual initiative.

It was an exhilarating time; through it I refined my ability to care about the people I worked with in order to build intimate relationships of confidence and trust. I truly learned to love the people of Venezuela.  That foundation continues to make it easy for me to express this type of love in all aspects of my life.

Two - Become One – And Then Nine

In the spring of 1988, I met Stacy Van Liew. Our love grew quickly and we were married in August of that year.

Describing the magic of our life together sounds unreal. From the very beginning, Stacy saw in me more than I saw in myself. Her commitment to supporting me in every dream, regardless of how crazy it sounds is amazing. I could never be who I am without her by my side. She inspires me to be a better me. There is no doubt in my mind that she is the source of my energy and love for life. I am so thankful to be her husband.

Together, we are the parents of seven children. Our home is constantly filled with the sounds of life. We love them and enjoy supporting them in their many activities. They are beautiful individuals. The lessons we learn from them are too numerous to list here. Suffice it so say that they are the source of great meaning and joy.

Back To Work

Early in our married life, I went to work for my uncle. He owned a commercial finance company. My job was to help small business owners acquire the equipment they needed to run their operations. I spent my days discovering the current and future needs of the entrepreneurs in the Los Angeles area.

i enjoyed being a friend to my clients as much as being a source of business capital. I liked to listen to theirchallenges, their successes and their dreams. I liked to encourage them. The longer I was in the business, the more I became known for something other than the money I was lending. My clients did business with me because I listened from a perspective that was external to their other circles. They quickly became comfortable sharing everything with me, and that is why I eventually left the world of lending financial capital for the world of developing human capital.

My Own Business

In 1995, I decided to leave my uncle’s employ to start my own company. I was 29 years old and sitting on the top of the world.

In March of that year, I founded Thalman Financial, Inc. It was an interesting move. I immediately discovered that there was a lot more to running a business than making sales. Each day, brought a new lesson. Some were more painful than others.

The enterprise was successful and it continued to grow at a steady rate. My biggest challenges came from leading my people. These challenges often consumed the majority of my day. At times I felt like there was no way I could win.

I learned the importance of setting clear expectations. I also learned that it was my responsibility to communicate effectively. I couldn’t just assume that my people understood what I was talking about. I had to frequently follow-up to make sure.

Back To School

I was hungry to become a better leader so I frequently attended seminars on this topic. My attendance in these events made me want to learn even more.

In an attempt to quench my thirst for knowledge, I enrolled in Pepperdine’s Executive MBA program. The program began with a semester on Organizational Behavior taught by Wayne Strom. The coursework was delivered through action-learning modules. I enjoyed the opportunity to work and learn with peers without the pressure of being the Leader with a capital “L”.

Most of my classmates came from large organizations. I was one of the only entrepreneurs in our cohort and this gave me an opportunity to learn and study with some very skilled and highly trained leaders.

The Healthy Me

During my MBA program, I began to focus on being healthy. I was still in my mid thirties, but I could tell that age was taking its toll. I began walking and then I started to run. Running led to cycling and then I renewed my passion for swimming.

It seemed natural to put them all together, so I signed up for my first Ironman Triathlon in June of 2002.

Training and competing in that event taught me that I set the boundaries. I learned that if I want something bad enough; I can do it. There will always be some pain, but the joy of crossing the finish line makes it all worth it.  

Tragedy Strikes

One morning, on my way to class, Stacy called with news that my father had passed away. I was only 35 years old when he died and he was only 65. I remember thinking that he was way too young to be leaving this life.

His death shocked me. It wasn't just that he was gone; the realty also sunk in that I was next in line. For the first time I saw my own mortality. I knew that I was going to die. I looked at my children and tried to imagine them without a father. I looked at my life and asked myself if I was really doing the things I wanted to do and if what I was doing would actually make a difference. My answer was a resounding "no" on both accounts.

This reality check set in motion a significant period of growth in my life. I decided to change my life and my career. I wasn't happy with what I was doing. I knew that my life purpose was not aligned with that work. It was something I knew for a long time, but I was afraid to do anything about it.

The lifestyle my success provided made it difficult for me to walk away. I enjoyed my life, but I often felt like helping people incur debt was a waste of my time and talents. I wanted to help people become liberated, not encumbered. I wanted to discover the "authentic me" and I wanted to help others find their "authentic self".

My father’s death, gave me the courage to let go. I decided to rid myself of the obligations associated with my business. I really did let it all go. At first, I worried that everyone would think I failed and that I had to go out of business. Eventually, I came to realize that it really didn't matter what anyone else thought. I was shedding a weight that was keeping me from reaching my potential and it felt good. I felt really happy. I never looked back, and I can honestly say that I am being who I want to be and doing what I want to do.

Back To School Again

In August of 2002 I founded Telios Corporation. Telios is a Greek word that means “complete, whole and fully finished”. This company became the vehicle for realizing my life long passion of evoking excellence in others.

I knew that I had much to learn so shortly after the formation of this new company I enrolled in a doctoral program in organizational psychology at The California School of Professional Psychology in San Diego. The campus is 147 miles from my home, which meant that I was in the car for more than four hours a day.

The sale of my company afforded me the luxury of being enrolled in a full-time program. I attended class Monday through Friday. All of my coursework was focused on individual development and the impact of the individual in organization and team settings.

The time away at school and on the road, combined with the energy and time needed to start a new business, added to the stress associated with completing a significant remodel of our home. To make matters even more interesting, Stacy was pregnant with of our sixth child and confined to bed for seven months. The entire package pushed the limits of my sanity.

Never, at any time did I have to struggle so hard to live a balanced life. It was a constant challenge. Those experiences taught me so much about living in the present moment of mindfulness. I learned how to live a quality life in the midst of the constant demands of quantity. Life is still busy, but nowhere near as busy as it was during that time. The lessons I learned helped me understand how to always keep my life and leadership responsibilities in full harmony.

It took six years to become Dr. Andrew Thorn. When it was over, I felt like a new person. My core blossomed and my capacity to listen, care and facilitate grew to unexpected levels.

The Telios Experience

As I mentioned earlier, the death of my father made me profoundly aware of my own mortality.  I knew that I was in the second half of life. The aging process was constantly on my mind.

My life, up until that point, was focused on achievement. My successes brought a lot of happiness, but they did not fill me up. That is why I knew that I needed to sell my financial company. I could not continue working in that venture without asking myself, is this all there really is?

I realized that I needed to begin a transition from ambition to meaning. My ambition drove the first half of my life; now it was time to make sense of it all.

I enrolled several friends to help me create a program that would help me and others manage this transition. I began by calling it the Game of Life, and later renamed it The Telios Experience. This process is a legacy making exercise.

The Telios Experience is a living experience and it continues to grow. We built a special table around which our groups meet. It was hand carved. Not a single power tool was used to carve it. Stacy and I recently purchased 46 acres in Prescott Arizona. We are now dreaming of the retreat that we will build. It is a place where those we work with can escape the pressures of their daily life and focus on their legacy. I know many people will come and stay with us in the near future. They are coming. We just don’t know their names yet.

                                                                                  Aspirations

I believe our aspirations are the permission we give ourselves to soar in ascending spirals. Our life is full and balanced when we are living our dreams.

I recently played the part of Joseph in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It was a wonderful opportunity for me to live a dream. I worked hard to be in excellent shape and to sing and dance. These are skills that I knew I had, but that I had never developed before.

It was not easy to fit it into my busy schedule. I did it because I wanted to model what a full life looks like. I believe that if we want to have a balanced life we must constantly push ourselves to new levels. We are created to be continuously improving. We only feel out of balance when we are resting or neglecting opportunities to develop our individual talents.

I learned from this experience, that the word “someday” generally robs us of the opportunities that shape us and form us. “Someday” rarely comes – it merely stands as a mirage of hope in our lives. Now is the time to be who we always wanted to be. I will never wait for someday again.

I am constantly examining the aspirations that I dream for my life. I hold them up so that I can see them in broad daylight. I know that if I want to fulfill them, I must identify the commitments that will make them real. Then I must determine if I am truly willing to live according to those commitments. This analysis focuses my time on the things that really matter most. As a result, I am constantly reaching to become my best.

Who Is Andrew Thorn?

I share this story of my defining moments with you, so that you may begin to see me for who I really am. I want you to know who I am, before we talk about what I do, and I want to know who you are too.

You may be wondering; “What does Andrew really do?” The answer is actually kind of simple.

Think for a moment of the most successful person you know. Now, imagine that person taking life to the next level. What would it take? Do you think that because the person is so successful, the thought of getting better rarely enters their mind? Or do you think the person is constantly trying to figure out how to be better? The successful people I know are usually focused on the latter. How hard do you think it is for them to get better?

My experience with successful people indicates that the closer one gets to greatness, the harder it is to move toward outstanding. It is extremely difficult to discover the miniscule changes required to raise the bar. Now, Imagine what it takes for that person to grow from outstanding to extraordinary. Are you as exited by that prospect as I am?

That is the work that I do. I help highly successful people become their very best. I do it by listening to them so that I can discover who they really are. This makes it possible for me to speak the truth to them in ways that they have rarely ever heard it spoken to them before. Most, have never had a friend like me.  I love and care for them in ways that are difficult to describe, but they are real. The only way to truly understand it is to experience it.

My purpose is to help you enjoy life more, by helping you understand the deeper level meaning of your successes. I am not concerned about helping you make more money, or helping you achieve more. My goal is for you to become the best you possible, so that you can enjoy more life.

Achieving more will not fill that gap. The only way to fill it is to focus on what matters most. That is what I help people do, and that is why I always say that I have the greatest job in the world.

Getting Involved

I believe that when I asked you to think of the most successful person you know, you probably thought of yourself. I know you understand the challenge of taking things to the next level. I am sure the thought of it excites and energizes you, just like it does me.

I deliver my services through a limited number of intense and intimate one-on-one or small group settings.

You can find out more about these activities by contacting me directly at 760-559-3548.

I look forward to meeting you and seeing the real you.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew

To Be Continued