When I was 35 years old my father passed away suddenly. He
was only 65 years old, which seemed very young to me. It was quite a shock and
I must admit, I was not prepared.
Seven years have now passed since his death. At that time, I
was running a successful equipment leasing operation. We had four locations and
a wonderful staff of people committed to the success of the business. Up until
I learned of my father’s death, I felt invincible. Taking risks came very easy
for me. I was on top of the world and nothing bad ever happened to me.
Everything about my life was good. I was young and had the world by its tail.
This one event changed my life. It affected the way I
thought and the things I did. I suddenly was aware of my own mortality and the
fragile nature of life. The phrase “here today, gone tomorrow” became more
meaningful than ever before. I realized that if I live as long as my dad my
life was already half over with. I became incredibly aware of the
dissatisfactions in my life. There were so many things I wanted to learn and so
many ways that I wanted to grow. I became extremely focused on tuning my life
and preparing for the second half of my life. The second half of life became my
new obsession.
Despite my success with my business, I always knew that it
was not what I wanted to do with my life. I kind of backed into building this
business. I took a job when I first got married with my uncle because he was
the most successful person I knew and I wanted to emulate his success. I started
out as a commission only sales representative and made a good income. I kept
telling myself that I was going to make enough money to back to school and do
what I really wanted to do with my life. The more money I made, the harder it
was to step away.
We moved away to Apple Valley where we found affordable
housing. Our new home was nearly 100 miles from the office and eventually I
started my own company to avoid the commute. I started small and grew the
company in a very short time. The more success we enjoyed the more committed I
became to the company. Our success masked my desire for something different and
made it easy for me to go along with the flow of life.
My father’s death awakened in me a sense of urgency. I suddenly
became aware of my true dreams. I knew he died with unfulfilled aspirations and
I did not want to end up like him. I felt tied to my business because it was
successful and there were others who depended on it for their success. Yet I
knew I was not doing what I really wanted to do. Within a year of his death I
divested myself of my business and set out on the path of reaching for my best
self. Some of my friends thought I was crazy for letting such a successful
business go. Others wished they had the courage to do the same thing. I did not
realize how much my business was part of my identity until I let it go. I felt
excited and lost. I was ready to grow. I felt a new freedom and a new burden
all at the same time. I was creating a new me. It was scary and exhilarating
all at the same time.
I knew that I was facing something that all of us at one
point or another face. I was facing it earlier than most, but nobody will
escape. There comes a point in our lives when we realize there is less time
ahead of us than there is behind us. This is a very sobering moment. For me, I
saw that I had spent a lot of time doing things and achieving things and too
little time of my time on becoming who I wanted to be. I was trading
achievement for meaning and all the messages that I got from the world told me that
it was exactly what I needed to be doing. Despite my many achievements, I
sometimes still felt empty. I knew something was missing – I was doing what I
needed to do at the cost of being who I wanted to be. I did it all in the name
of achievement.
I privately focused my life on the transition from
achievement to meaning. I discovered that my achievements are important. They
play a vital role in becoming who I want to be. But when I focus solely on
achievement I create an imbalance in the rest of my life. When I focus on
meaning, even my achievements become more meaningful. More importantly, I spend
the necessary time in the other areas of my life to fulfill my lifetime
aspirations.
My private pursuit is now part of my public behavior. My
most interesting work is focused on helping others discover the commitments they
are willing to make to reach for their own aspirations. You will hear more of
this pursuit as I focus more and more of my efforts on reaching for this dream. To begin the journey with me click on this link Love Today.
See you on the road!
Andrew Thorn
760-559-3548
athorn@telioscorp.com
