I was thinking about motivation this morning as I jumped out of bed at 4:30 and started my routine. It is hard to do that on a consistent basis without a clearly defined purpose. My mind really wasn't thinking about purpose this morning, I was thinking about the steps that generally motivate me to find that purpose.
There is a long standing debate around extrinsic (originating from the outside) and intrinsic (originating from the inside) motivation. I typically land on the side of of intrinsic motivation because I believe that I am unable to sustain motivational momentum that is generated from outside of me.
As I reviewed some of the triggers that motivated me to reach purposefully forward I was a bit surprised to discover that many of my personal tipping points came from external sources. I think I was even more surprised to find that nearly all of the external motivators were negative in nature.
Don't Tell Me I Can't Do That!
Let me illustrate what I mean with a brief story. When I was 26 years old, Stacy was pregnant with our second child and we had just bought our first home. I was enjoying success in a sales position. I wanted to make more money, but it seemed that I was already selling at or near my peak. My production levels were much higher than the other representatives and I felt I deserved a raise in my compensation plan. I thought this was the only way I could get to the income level I needed. I approached my boss and began to plead my case.
He carefully listened, and then explained that the company could not afford a higher compensation plan. He then told me that the only way I could make more money per sale would be for me to leave and start my own company. His next words stopped me in my tracks. He said, "you will never make it on your own."
I felt extremely challenged. I didn't believe what I heard. As I walked back to my office I realized that if I stayed there, I would be stuck. Staying would be a defeat. It would mean that I believed that I would never make it on my own. I realized that I could not stay and I immediately packed up my things and left. I had to do it for me. His statement was a challenge to my belief in my own self worth. I am not sure he meant it that way, but I left feeling extremely motivated to prove my boss wrong.
When I arrived home, I told Stacy what I had done. I could tell she was worried about how we would pay our first mortgage and how we would cover the expense of a birth without insurance, but she looked at me and said, "I know you can do it, now go to work."
I started my own business. It was a tough road and I learned many things along the way. In the difficult moments, when I felt like throwing it all in, I heard my boss' voice in my head saying, "you will never make it without me." There was no way I was going to let him be right. My internal drive kept me going, but his inflammatory statement fanned the flames of my desire to succeed.
The Real Sustaining Force
His words though did not sustain me for very long. The more I experienced success the more I realized how ridiculous his statement was and the less I needed it to motivate me. I am thankful that he said it, because I don't think I would have discovered so many things about myself without that push.
What really sustained me was Stacy's support. She always believes in me and is constantly willing to support me, no matter how crazy the idea I am chasing. Her positive light is always there and I rely on it to get me through the brief moments of doubt that always come. I owe all of my success to her support. Because she believes in me, I believe in myself. I love it when she tells me to go to work. When she says that, what I really hear is, I believe in you. Thanks Stacy for being there for over twenty years. I can't wait to spend the rest of my eternity with you.
What Motivates You?
How about you? Are you motivated more by external or internal promptings? Or, are you like me and experience a little bit of both? Now is a great time to discover what motivates you. Those that are motivated will discover a lot of opportunity. Some of those opportunities may seem small, but as you step into them, you will build the foundation for a wonderful future.
Like me, you may find that some negative comments motivate you to take the first step towards a better you. I think it is good to be aware of this relationship. I would caution you though to stay focused on what motivates you and to spend very little energy and time on what demotivates you. Looking in that direction will never add to your success. It will only detract from it and if you look to far in that direction,it may even derail you.
Looking toward the positive may be strange for some of you. Just give it go and pay attention to how you feel. I assure you, it won't destroy your focus. Just go for it!
Life is Good!
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