Today I am supposed to leave for Santa Rosa California to compete in an Ironman Triathlon on Saturday. I signed up for the event nearly a year ago and I have been diligently training through the winter cold and the summer heat to once again complete this goal. I have done what it takes, I am ready, but I am not going.
I made my plans before I knew we would be here in Nephi. That was before I knew that I would have this wonderful opportunity to support Stacy in finishing her degree. Next week is her final week of class and the following week are her finals. Our children begin school on August 3rd. There is no way I can go to Santa Rosa and get our children to school on time.
There Is No "I" In Team
Stacy always supports me. There has never been a time, over the past 21 years, when she did not. She did not ask me to stay. She would have sacrificed her last week of class if I asked her to do that. She would have kept the kids our of their first week of school if I asked her to do that. All of our conversations were about when I was going to leave, not about what I could do to make things easier for her.
As the day approached for me to leave, I began to feel selfish. I thought about the many times she supported me and decided that this was a time when my individual pursuits needed to be put aside for the good of our family. She has sacrificed many things to help me reach for my dreams. It was clear to me, that this was a time when I could support her. I wanted to do that, more than I wanted to hang another finisher medal behind my closet door.
This Is The Most Important Race
Being a loving and present husband and father is my most important pursuit. It is easy to forget that when I get so involved in the other things that are also important to me. I have labored many more hours at becoming the best husband and dad that I can be, than I have at becoming the best Ironman Finisher that I can be. This is the pursuit that matters most to me, so I will willingly miss this race day so I can be here for them. There will be lots of time to race at other things after my family is grown and gone.
Achievement is an important part of becoming, but it is not the only piece of the equation. I know that it would feel great to cross the finish line of the Ironman. Having been there before, I can tell you that it would not feel anywhere near as good as it does to support Stacy and by being here for her and for my kids. That is what matters most to me. It was not difficult for me to make this decision. It took me a while to see it, but since I know what I value, when I saw it, I was willing to put aside my own aspirations and be here.
Besides, competing in triathlons for me is a only vehicle for fitness. Why do I want to be fit? I want to be fit so that when I am older I can be here for my kids. If I wait until then to be here, it will be too late. My training for the event accomplished the fitness goal so all I really have to do now is be here. Lucky me 
What Is Right For You?
I know there will be many times when you and I will have to choose between two good things. It is not difficult for me to make decisions like this, because I know what I value most. Sometimes, it take me a while to see the two choices clearly, but because I know what I value most the two paths usually come into view. I don't always make the best choice, but in the end, I usually see the distinct paths, and the consequences, both good and not so good, of my choices.
Do you know what you value most? What do you do when you must choose between two good things? What guides you in your decision making process? How do you maintain your alignment? These are the questions that I ask myself when I find myself at a crossroads. They keep me focused on what really matters most to me.
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