I derive my energy from the time I spend thinking and reflecting about what is going on around me. The time I spend doing that, prepares me for the time I spend with others.
My natural preference is to be involved in intimate one-on-one or small group meetings. I enjoy those moments. They help me make stronger connections and develop greater amounts of trust.
Networking Know How
Today, I will spend some time at a networking meeting. I struggle in these settings. I often find it very difficult to walk over and introduce myself to people I don't know. To me, no matter how sincere I feel, these moments feel like insincere moments. I love to feel authentic.
I am thinking a lot about the challenge I face in working the room. I want to overcome it. It seems like the more I tell myself that I do not enjoy these types of events, the less I enjoy them. I know there is more to it than telling myself to enjoy it, so I have been examining my thoughts and feelings.
Leaning In To The Discomfort
These are uncomfortable moments for me, but why should they be. I am strongly connected with my purpose and values. It should be easy for me to introduce myself and to meet people, but for some reason, I struggle.
I am reminded of a phrase my dad always said, "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." Caring about others is how connections are made. I demonstrate caring by listening to others and the introduction is something that requires me to talk rather than listen. My need to hear and connect with others, overrides my need to introduce myself.
Today, I am going to quickly introduce myself and then move into the mode of listener. People like to tell their own story, so I am going to make mine brief and then ask connecting questions. There are stories in the room that I want to hear. The only way I can discover them is to ask the questions.
When I look at the conversations I will have in this light, I feel energized. My uncomfortable feelings disappear and I begin to see how valuable these experiences can be.
Reframing The Pain
Your challenges may be different than mine, and may have nothing to do with networking, but I am sure you can overcome them. Usually, we just need to ask ourselves new and powerful questions. Questioning "why" is often the least effective way of doing this, i.e. "why do I struggle in open networking situations?" When I ask the question this way, I find it difficult to think of anything other than the pain that I feel.
It is much more powerful to ask, "what can I do to feel better in these situations?" Once I ask that question, I begin to unleash my true potential.
What challenges are you facing right now?
What can you do to feel better about those situations?
How can you reframe the circumstances to better utilize your strengths?
There is no escaping the uncomfortable and undesirable things we have to do each day. The only way out, is to create a new way of looking at things. Can you see it?
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