I have learned the most about life by raising my children. The most difficult, rewarding and beautiful lessons are the result of our efforts to raise them up to be honest and productive citizens. It is never easy, but it is always worth it.
Selfless Acts of Service
Stacy and I began raising our children nearly 21 years ago. Since that time, we have changed more diapers, buckled more car seats, wiped away more tears, kissed more booboos, attended more ballgames, watched more shows and gave more council than many other parents on the planet. It just comes with the territory when raising seven children.
Early this year, we finally finished the diaper phase – it lasted twenty years. In three more years, we will exit the car seat phase and that is something worth looking forward to seeing.
The opportunity to love and serve our children has molded us into servant leaders. We understand what it means to meet a need without thinking of the consequences to self. This helps us to be better able to serve. The love that we feel in raising our children is amazingly simple to extend outward. It is second nature to us in our personal lives, so we find it easy to give it to others.
The Final Exam
We currently find ourself facing the final exam of parenthood with our oldest child. She will soon be 21 years old. She has earned her independence by behaving in a most responsible way. She is employed and she pays her own way. We are very happy with the way she is living her life.
Despite her success and independence, we still feel inclined to parent her. This is because she lacks experience and maturity and we possess wisdom and perspective. We know what is best for her, and we can see the troubles in her path. We want to help her, but we know we can't.
It is difficult to let go, and to let her make mistakes. She is our little girl, and she might get hurt. We don't want that, but when we step back, we can see that she will need that to happen in order for her to gain wisdom and perspective. After all, that is the way we got it.
She needs to experience life for herself. She needs the freedom to make her own choices so that she can discover her own purpose in her life. Stacy and I understand all this, but that does not make it any easier to let go. We want to protect her, and to keep her safe.
A New Way
I call this the final exam, because when we pass it, our relationship with each child will be forever different. Our days of parenting as we know it will actually be over. I am not saying that we won't have a place in their lives I am simply saying that things will be much different.
They will no longer need us to wipe tears and provide safety, instead they will need us to be a friend and confidant. They will need us to listen without prescribing unless asked. They will expect us to be there, and they will want us to love and support them in the ways that they request.
Letting go, is demanding more love from us than it did to change diapers, buckle car seats, wipe away tears tears and kiss booboos. It is a hard commitment to make, but it is required. We love her enough to do it.
The way we feel about our own parents reminds us that letting go does not mean losing. It may feel that way at times, but we know that she will always need us. The need will now just be different.
Are you willing to let your adult children live their lives?
Do you pester them or council them?
Be there for them. That is all they really want. The best way to share the wisdom and love you have for them now is to listen and share the perspective you have gained without prescribing a treatment or a cure. Just be there!
Live Today! Love Today!
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