When I was growing up, we spent a lot of time visiting with friends and family. I remember listening to the conversations my parents and their friends and family members would have. The hours seem to pass quickly by as they talked about life. They spoke of their triumphs and trials. Sometimes I would get involved in the conversations, but mostly I would just listen to the things they were saying.
Life Is Busy
We were a busy family and I know our friends and family members were busy too. Sometimes they would travel great distances just to be together for a couple of hours. To them, visiting was a priority.
Now, I often wonder how they found the time to visit so often. My life is full. Every moment seems scheduled and so I tell myself that I rarely have time to sit and visit. Lately, I have noticed, that no one else seems to have time to visit either. Our lives are consumed by the demands of work and life.
We are blessed to live in a time that enjoys so many wonderful technological advancements. All of these tools of technology were designed to give us more time, yet they seem to suck the time away from us. Many of us now connect with our friends through only a few brief lines of text. The advances in social media certainly make it possible to stay in touch, but they do not compare to the enjoyment that comes from a face-to-face meeting.
What Stands In The Way?
I recently spent some time examining my use of technology. I discovered that television shows and website browsing are activities in which I regularly engage during the times in which I could be visiting. I realized that my parents and their friends did not have access to these distractions and so, despite their busy schedules, they had time to visit.
Their visits filled them up and created enduring relationships. The visits I have online seem to bother me. They don't fill me up, they just serve as creative distractions that allow me to avoid authentic communication. They give me the sense of open communication but leave me without the ability to grow relationships of lasting trust. At best, online communication is a shallow form of checking in. I think the majority of us long for something much deeper.
When was the last time you evaluated how you spend your time?
Do you take time to visit in your living room or on the front porch with your family and friends?
Are you forming relationships that are more than just bits of text on the screen?
I met a man the other day who cautiously admitted that he does not use a computer. I could tell that he was embarrassed by this admission and that he was worried I might think he was out of touch with the times. I actually found myself admiring his commitment.
I do not suggest that we should follow his example and eliminate the use of computers, but I do believe we need to spend a bit more of our time social networking the old fashion way; face-to-face in a comfortable chair with all electronic distractions set into silent mode. This is how trust is fostered and relationships are built. I hope to join you in a quiet place soon.
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