Andrew Thorn - The Authentic Me » Agency

It’s Your Turn Now!

athorn — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 02:59:05 +0000

Several years ago, my son Jacob and I stood on the banks of the Umqua river in Canyonville Oregon skipping stones. This particular bend in the river was often visited by many of our ancestors. As the afternoon shadows began to fall, I felt the significance of the moment and said, "Jacob, this is a place where your Great, Great Grandfather, your Great Grandfather, your Grandmother and I have all skipped stones". He thought about that for a moment, tossed the stone in his own hand and said, "and now it is my turn".

I marveled at his ability to see his own place in the circle of life at such a young age. His statement has stuck with me for many years and came back to me again as we recently said goodbye. He is now off to serve a mission in Concepción Chile for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints. Some 26 years ago, I said goodbye to my own family to serve a similar mission in Maracaibo Venezuela. It is now his turn.

A Sacrifie of Self

He left just a week and half ago and will not be back for two years. Our contact with him will be very limited. Saying goodbye, was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy that he made this choice, but that doesn't make me miss him any less.

His final week at home was spent packing his bags and packing up the things he would ultimately leave behind for the next two years. It was difficult to watch him decide what to do with so many of his childhood treasures. He spent a lot of time sorting and resorting the few things he wanted to make sure were available to him when he returns.

A missionary leaves everything behind. On the day of his departure, he handed us his iPad and his cell phone. Then he deactivated his Facebook account. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these items. He willingly left them behind so that he could focus all of his energy on serving the Lord. He even gave up his name and will be known simply as Elder Thorn. This was difficult for me to watch, but because it was once my turn I understood. I know that what he is about to gain is worth so much more than what he just let go.

Finding Joy

The pursuit of happiness is common to all of us. We look everywhere for it. Unfortunately, this search often results in the development of some very selfish behaviors. Over the years, I have known many who have come to realize that there must be something more than the ways of the world. They look to find a better life. They look to find their better self.

Elder Thorn is doing that now, and he is about to learn one of Jesus' greatest lessons. He taught – "For whosoever will save his life shall lose: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it". My beloved son is now about to find himself. Through his efforts, he will realize that self-denial is an accelerated path to self-discovery.

Yes, he will find happiness, but more importantly, he will find joy. So many people have wondered how Stacy and I can let our son go. They want to know how we will survive with only one brief email a week for the next two years. We will survive because we know our son is nobly dedicating himself to a cause that is much bigger than his individual desires. He will benefit in so many ways. He will learn things that are never learned in college. He will learn to lead others as he will be blessed with leadership opportunities that are rarely available to those so young. He will learn to boldly walk in the world and to take care of himself. He leaves a boy, and will return a man filled with joy.

Until We Meet Again

Goodbye Jacob. We will miss you. The noise in our home is not as rich without you here, but we are already feeling the blessings of your service. Thankfully, there is an image of you emblazoned upon my mind. As you walked out the door, you paused at the piano and played a few short notes. I had never heard the song before, and I cannot recall its melody. Instead, I can only see you sitting there and blessing us one last time with your beautiful music.

Now, the people of Concepción Chile get to hear your music and see your smile. Give it to them freely and share it openly. As you stand on the banks of the stream of missionary service remember: Now it is your turn. Don't waste a moment.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Right Now!

athorn — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 18:28:45 +0000

We are going deep today, so put your seatbelt on and let's move into the present moment. My thoughts this week constantly percolated around the phenomena of "NOW". It is such an amazing concept. I easily found myself lost in its depths in nearly every free thinking moment I enjoyed. As simple as the idea of now is, it also carries with it the profound essence of eternity.

There Is No Time In Eternity

The purpose of time is often debated. Some of the greatest spiritual and scientific minds believe that time is merely a measuring point in this temporal experience. They propose, that when we leave this realm we free ourselves from the constraints of time. I believe they are correct. Time is only felt in this existence because our entry and exit are marked by birth and death.

The fact that I accept this proposition, does not release me from the reality that time does exist in this sphere, and that I am subject to it. Still, I believe I choose the severity of its impact. In other words, if I focus on what time is doing to me, I become lost. Time then, erodes my memory of my eternal self, making it possible for me to forget my eternal identity. Once these memories are lost, I can no longer function as an eternal being. Instead, I become a slave to the clock. More clearly stated, my energy is drained by the mortal nature of this experience we mistakenly call life.

Now Is The Measurement of Eternity

My thought process this week led me to the importance of the present moment. In eternity, that is all there is. "Now" is the only way you and I can step back into our eternal nature. A focus on the past often brings us guilt, a focus on the future often steals our energy to reach for our potential. It is not that we can don't learn from the past or that we must avoid looking to the future. I simply declare that these activities often become the dominating drive in our lives and as we dwell on the past and dream of the future we lose the only thing that is real: "NOW".

Our potential can only be reached and expressed in the present moment. The past is done. It can not help us now. We move from the past equipped with the lessons (knowledge) we gained, but that is all. we can not improve that knowledge by looking back, we can only use it now. The future is a dream that we create by engaging right now in the present moment.

In eternity, there is nothing but "NOW". That is why we must learn to master it under the constraints of time. If we can not learn to master the present moment when the clock is ticking, we will be a useless force in eternity. Our time here will be wasted. We must learn to be about the business of purpose and meaning making in every moment. There is no waste in the righteous use of eternity. The moments do matter, and how we use them matters even more.

Drink It In!

Right now, I hope you are thinking, "yeah, I get it." But maybe you are wondering why this matters. It matters, because I am certain that you spent most of your moments in the past week pursuing that which matters least. This is not a commentary on you, or how you are using your time, it is merely a commentary on the general nature of human beings. It is easy for us to forget the concepts of eternal worth. When we do, we freely trade them for the value that only time can redeem. Sadly, time is not on our side. Sooner or later, it runs out for all of us. Time cannot keep its promise. Meaningless experiences are always wasted on dead men.

What are you doing right now?

How is that activity connected to the real you?

If your continue doing it, will fill your desire for purpose and meaning?

These are some of the questions that keep me in the now. When I ask them of myself, I find a greater ability to wake up and live in the moment with purpose and meaning. Life is now! Are you with me?

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Now, Is Your Most Valuable Resource!

athorn — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 17:57:29 +0000

Think about these questions for a minute.

How much time did you spend this week reflecting about what is going on around you and planning your life?

What are you afraid of? Is your fear keeping you from acting courageously?

Do you know why you get up in the morning? Is your purpose clearly defined?

I ask you to consider these questions because they are directly related with the responses gathered from a one question survey of older adults (+ 75). The question is a simple one – "If you could live your life over, what would you do differently?"

I think the answer to this question is pertinent to all of us, but especially to those of us who still have the greater portion of the second half of their life to live. Are you as interested as I am in the responses? Do you think the responses can help you make a course correction if needed?

Trick Questions

Your answers to the questions I asked you to consider at the beginning of this post are very important. That is because the questions are closely correlated with the top three answers the seniors gave in the one questions survey. They said that if they could live their life over, they would do the following:

Spend more time reflecting on life.
Act more courageously.
Clarify earlier in their life their individual purpose.

Take a look again at your answers. Are you satisfied with your responses? Are you spending enough time in these areas to help you make meaning out of your life? It is your life to live and I affirm that now, is the most valuable resource you have. Use it wisely.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Questions Only You Can Answer

athorn — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 17:35:55 +0000

Life happens. Every day we must get up and respond or it will pass us by. Stating the obvious means absolutely nothing until we stop and make meaning out of it. The fact of the matter is that we often get so caught up in the busyness of life that we forget to live it. Our time is spent responding to what we think is important.

We go through life with one regular thought in mind; "right now, I am willing to sacrifice my time and my focus on what is before me, because I know that when I finish this task, life won't be so crazy and I will then have the time to sit and focus on purpose and meaning."

The problem is, that day generally never comes. On purpose, we sacrifice our lives to the things that matter least. Most of us never wake up until it is too late.

I say most of us, because there are some fortunate individuals who face a crisis early. What? Did I just say they were fortunate enough to face a crisis? Yes I did. These are people who early in their adult lives either watched a loved one pass on, suffered their own health crisis, experienced a divorce, lost a job or faced significant financial difficulties. As a result they found a desire within them to focus on purpose. They saw that the things we all think are so important are really not that important, and they grew.

Most Of Us Never Face a Major Crisis

Sadly, this doesn't happen for most of us. We may experience part of the pains mentioned above, but they don't filter deep enough into our souls for us to stop and consider them a crisis. We think it is just the way life is. Even more sad is the life that some individuals live without facing any crisis at all. They just go through life with very few challenges to stretch or try them. Truth be told, these are generally very successful people. Their successes make it even easier for them to avoid the work needed to identify purpose and create meaning.

As a result, the thought of thinking about purpose or meaning is inconsequential. Why would they do that when everything is going well. There is enough light to see, so they can't see that it would be better if it were brighter. The lack of crisis often prevents them from really living a life on purpose until it is too late.

That Nagging Feeling

This does prevent them from feeling the pains that come from growing old. As they age, they begin to see that the trade-offs are not really giving them the ROI that they imagined receiving. They feel the pain, but they also feel unable to do something about it. I mean, what does a 50 year old man do in an economy like this, if he is unsatisfied and unfulfilled with his current circumstances. Most just turn away and from the big questions and say, "I am too old for that!"

Some questions can only be answered by you. These are questions that no one else, not even God can answer. You have to spend the time answering them for yourself. Living in these questions helps you create purpose and meaning. It helps you to see what steps you can take to be happier and what the cost will be of taking those steps.

I am speaking about some pretty big questions. Questions like; "What do you want?" and "Why are you afraid?" These questions scare us so we ignore them, hoping they will go away. They never go away until we face them. Avoiding them feeds them and they stay with us and haunt us. They are difficult questions to answer, but they must be answered if we are to live a life of purpose and meaning.

Where Are You?

Are you afraid of these questions, or are you asking them regularly? If you are asking them, what are you doing with your answers?

A happy life requires you to not only ask these questions, but to also do something about them. These two activities combined represent the beginning of the pathway to purpose. When you activate your efforts in the pursuit of your promptings, you begin the path to becoming your best. That is a path that I want to always be on.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I Remember

athorn — Mon, 31 May 2010 12:49:41 +0000

When I was 14 our family moved from a thriving suburb of Los Angeles to the very small town of La Porte Indiana. It was quite a culture shock, but we survived. Everything from the music, to the way we dressed, to the safety we felt, was different in the midwest. We arrived ahead of cable television and MTV so the west coast fads rarely if ever made it there. It seemed like a different country and when we first arrived, one of my new friends even asked me how I liked living in the United States.

Everybody Knows Your Name

My parents bought an old abandoned home that was a local landmark. Everybody knew the house, so everybody took note when we moved in. We arrived on May 1st, and spring was in bloom. At the end of our first month, we were invited by our new friends and neighbors to attend the local Memorial Day celebration. I don't think any of us knew what to expect as we had spent previous Memorial Days at the beach or the Dodger game when they were in town. We would drive by the military cemetery in Los Angeles, but I don't remember ever attending a celebration.

The festivities began at 8:00 AM at the court house. The local VFW provided a stirring program and then we all moved to a local park to spend the rest of the day together. It really did seem like the whole town was at that park. Everything we did there was focused on remembering the sacrifices of those who gave their life for our freedom.

It was a stirring feeling to be with these townspeople who respected and remembered the sacrifices of our service men and women so prominently that day. Despite our newness to the town, we became an instant part of the community. The struggle we felt in the first month to fit in, melted away and we proudly stated that we were now from La Porte Indiana.

Today – I Remember

I am living in California again. Even though I am in a small town, there is not much going on to remember those who paid the price for our freedom. There are a few small celebrations planned, but they have been poorly advertised and will be poorly attended.

There will only be a few flags flown but we will raise ours. I will take the time to say a few words to my children and we will remember our ancestors and their fellow freedom fighters. We cannot comprehend all that they did for us, but we can give thanks. I realize that doing so is not enough, but it is all those who sacrificed ever wanted. They did not do what they did to win a prize or become famous. The did what they did to protect the values our society holds so dear.

Those values are always being tested, and some are even being forgotten. We will not allow that to happen in our home. Freedom is too precious to forget. These values will be remembered, we can either do it voluntarily, or we will lose them and be required to fight for them again.

I choose to remember. I hope you will join me in the active pursuit of ensuring that we never forget. Raise your flag!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

It’s Our Choice

athorn — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 12:32:55 +0000

I am a fan of the television show Lost. I really don't have time to watch much TV, but this show captures my interest and I have watched it from its inception. The final season will begin in February, and we are anxiously awaiting the big night. To get ready for the premiere, we are watching the episodes from last season.

The Power of Choice

I am not sure I have it all figured out yet, but I am certain that a part of what we are watching on Lost is the power of choice, and the impact those choices have on the lives of the characters. Each episode features a decision point in the life of one of the players, and we see through their eyes the current decision and the history of their life and how it led them to make the decisions that they are making now.

I can't escape very far in the show without thinking about the impact of choices in my own life. I value the ability to choose more than any other freedom. To me it is the only real right we possess.

I find it interesting, that given the freedom to choose, I sometimes, make bad choices, wrong choices and even hurtful choices. I guess this surprises me, because, in the moment of making those choices, I do not feel like I am betraying myself or others. It just seems like I am making an appropriate choice. It is only later, when I experience the actual consequences of the choices, that I can judge their value and impact.

Proving Points

I read somewhere that good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. I have come to accept this as a half truth. I am aware that these moments of trial and error serve as a great wealth of wisdom, but I don't think that we must make bad decisions in order to learn how to make good ones. I think we are capable of escaping many of the blunders we voluntarily commit.

Sometimes I think we fail to recognize the impact of the good decisions we make. I believe that we learn more from the good decisions we make than we do from our poor choices. The negative ones hurt, so they stand out, but the more we strive to do right, the more capable we are of doing it.

It is easier to make bad choices, because they don't take as much courage or integrity. Simply stated, I don't believe that poor decisions ever produced greatness. It is true that integrity, loyalty, and strength are virtues that are developed through the inner struggles each of us faces, but they are a result of the good decisions we make, and not the bad ones. They are bred by self-discipline.

Free To Choose

Our future is constantly being shaped by the choices we make. The trick is to decide how we will choose, before we are faced with the defining moment. It will not happen by chance. The power to make good choices is attained by deliberate effort.

What choices are you currently struggling with?

How can you develop greater self-discipline?

What are the choices that will lead you to greatness?

We are our greatest selves when we make our best choices. The consequences of our best choices result in an abundant, peaceful and satisfied life. I recognize that this is no easy matter, but nothing meaningful ever is.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Make It A Great Day

athorn — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 05:30:00 +0000

I am awake.

A smile stretches across my face,

as my consciousness is illuminated

with a new day.

It is mine.

I can be whoever I want to be.

There are no limits here.

Only desire.

I reach for my potential,

and my promise to become

gratitude fills my heart

I am new again

Andrew Thorn

I wrote this poem today as I was thinking about a conversation I had yesterday evening. In my outgoing voice mail message I declare that it is a great day and then I invite my caller to "make it a great day" too.

For me, It takes very little effort to have a good day. I have very few expectations so I am rarely disappointed. I do not wear a watch. I usually know what I am going to do each day because I visualize it before I go to bed, but I can be flexible if a new demand is placed upon me.

I believe I can choose to have a good day or a bad day. Bad things happen to me all the time. I am blessed with an unusual ability (at least on most things) to feel the emotion in the moment and then to move on from it. It becomes harder for me to do the closer the event is to my circle of influence. I guess what I mean by this is that it is harder for me to have a good day if Stacy (The Love of My Life) is having a bad day. Especially if I am the cause of her bad day. So the farther it goes out from there, the easier it is for me to let it go.

I begin each day believing I won the lottery. My friend Marshall taught me this valuable lesson. He reminded me of the good fortune I have experienced in my life. There are many people on this planet who have more than I do. Yet, I am content with what I have. Yes – I want more – and I reach for it daily. But I am not obsessed with it. I am able to live within my means and enjoy the magic moments of life. I live life from a sharing, not a comparing perspective. This makes it easy for me to be excited for others and their many wonderful accomplishments. I do not feel threatened by the successes of others. I feel invigorated by them.

I do not focus on having a good day, I focus on living a good life and for some reason the days take care of themselves. Sure, there are times when I get mad and frustrated. Some will tell you that I am very capable of being mean and nasty when I want to be. To me, those experiences are part of life and make for bad moments but not bad days. Singing a song always brings me back to happiness so I sing a lot. It is my favorite way to overcome a bad moment. I even have different styles of music for different moments and a special song I listen to whenever I feel really down. It lifts me up and gratitude fills my heart. I am happy.

How Does It Work For You?

Is it work for you to make it a great day? Do you ever feel like it is going to be one of those days? What do you do to get out of that funk? How do you turn a day around when it starts off bad? I look forward to learning from your thoughts. Leave a comment before you go, email me or call me and we will chat.

Life is good!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

andrew@andrewthorn.com

Can You Be Good and Happy?

athorn — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:35:52 +0000

Yesterday, I came across a very interesting poll in our local paper. It was just listed as "Poll Results" so I do not know the source of the poll. I have searched on line and as of yet, I have not found its source. The poll asks, "Would you rather have your children be good or be happy?

I must admit that this question took me by surprise. It is hard for me to correlate being good with being unhappy and this question seems to imply that I must choose one or the other for my children. To me that makes no sense.

Choices Determine Results

I believe that our choices determine whether or not we will be happy. I can choose to be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. But I can not choose the consequences of those choices. For example, if I enjoy taking naps on a railroad track and I am a heavy sleeper, I don't think anyone would be surprised if ended up being run over by a train. I know this sounds extreme, but I have made similarly stupid choices in their own context before and it is the results or consequences of those choices that created the most unhappy times in my life.

Being good requires that I make good choices. I believe that good choices lead to happy times. I am not naive enough to believe that if I am good, everything will be peachy keen. I know that bad things happen to good people all the time. But good people seem to know how to be happy even when bad things happen to them. The people that I know that are focused on being good, never ask why me. They ask, "what can I do to relieve this suffering?" or "what haven't I thought of yet that will help me get out of this situation?"

"Bad People", if there really is such a thing, cannot ever truly be happy. Their bad/poor choices will eventually lead them to despair. Sooner or later, they will be discovered as fraudulent. We have seen this over and over in the corporate world. Greed and selfishness – two characteristics that I would classify as bad – so often lead to poor decisions. They both tempt people to be less than they really are. When people behave badly, there is a consequence whether their bad behavior is discovered or not. One consequence is the fear of being discovered which plagues people until they finally are discovered. The people I know who are behaving badly are always looking for someone else to blame for their behavior. They often ask the question, "whose fault is this?" They want to know what you are going to do to make them happy. They think that the world owes them happy times.

What Can You Do About It?

I have made too many bad choices in my life to believe that we can always be good. And I know that I will make more bad choices in whatever time I have left on this planet. I am human – I cannot avoid it. I know, however, that I can do something about the bad choices that I make. The moments when my behavior ends up being outside of the boundaries of my own standards are moments when I can choose to either wake up or to continue on the course. I know where the course leads. It leads to despair and suffering and sorrow. The farther I travel down that path the more unhappiness I find.

I have a powerful question that I ask myself in those moments. It is a simple question, but I know that it is by plain and simple things that extraordinary things happen. I ask myself – when I have that moment of awareness – "Is this what I really want?" This question almost always brings me back to reality and allows me the opportunity to get back on track. The only way out of a bad choice is to make a good one. Too often bad choices are made worse by more bad choices. There is a saying that I love. It says, "Wickedness never was happiness." I know that this statement is true. We cannot expect to be happy if we behave badly. We can not expect to be happy if we choose to be bad.

If you want to be happy, then study what happy people do. You will find that they are always looking for ways to become better. They are looking to improve the shining moments of life. They want to be good. They want to help more and be more than they have ever been before. They do this because they know that when they do they feel most happy.

What Do You Think?

I am interested in what you think about this. Do you think that you have to make a choice between being good and being happy? What do you think causes happiness? Please take a moment to share your thoughts with me by commenting below.

Shine your light on someone today who is in darkness. Let them know that Life is Good!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

athorn@telioscorp.com