Yesterday, I came across a very interesting poll in our local paper. It was just listed as "Poll Results" so I do not know the source of the poll. I have searched on line and as of yet, I have not found its source. The poll asks, "Would you rather have your children be good or be happy?
I must admit that this question took me by surprise. It is hard for me to correlate being good with being unhappy and this question seems to imply that I must choose one or the other for my children. To me that makes no sense.
Choices Determine Results
I believe that our choices determine whether or not we will be happy. I can choose to be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. But I can not choose the consequences of those choices. For example, if I enjoy taking naps on a railroad track and I am a heavy sleeper, I don't think anyone would be surprised if ended up being run over by a train. I know this sounds extreme, but I have made similarly stupid choices in their own context before and it is the results or consequences of those choices that created the most unhappy times in my life.
Being good requires that I make good choices. I believe that good choices lead to happy times. I am not naive enough to believe that if I am good, everything will be peachy keen. I know that bad things happen to good people all the time. But good people seem to know how to be happy even when bad things happen to them. The people that I know that are focused on being good, never ask why me. They ask, "what can I do to relieve this suffering?" or "what haven't I thought of yet that will help me get out of this situation?"
"Bad People", if there really is such a thing, cannot ever truly be happy. Their bad/poor choices will eventually lead them to despair. Sooner or later, they will be discovered as fraudulent. We have seen this over and over in the corporate world. Greed and selfishness – two characteristics that I would classify as bad – so often lead to poor decisions. They both tempt people to be less than they really are. When people behave badly, there is a consequence whether their bad behavior is discovered or not. One consequence is the fear of being discovered which plagues people until they finally are discovered. The people I know who are behaving badly are always looking for someone else to blame for their behavior. They often ask the question, "whose fault is this?" They want to know what you are going to do to make them happy. They think that the world owes them happy times.
What Can You Do About It?
I have made too many bad choices in my life to believe that we can always be good. And I know that I will make more bad choices in whatever time I have left on this planet. I am human – I cannot avoid it. I know, however, that I can do something about the bad choices that I make. The moments when my behavior ends up being outside of the boundaries of my own standards are moments when I can choose to either wake up or to continue on the course. I know where the course leads. It leads to despair and suffering and sorrow. The farther I travel down that path the more unhappiness I find.
I have a powerful question that I ask myself in those moments. It is a simple question, but I know that it is by plain and simple things that extraordinary things happen. I ask myself – when I have that moment of awareness – "Is this what I really want?" This question almost always brings me back to reality and allows me the opportunity to get back on track. The only way out of a bad choice is to make a good one. Too often bad choices are made worse by more bad choices. There is a saying that I love. It says, "Wickedness never was happiness." I know that this statement is true. We cannot expect to be happy if we behave badly. We can not expect to be happy if we choose to be bad.
If you want to be happy, then study what happy people do. You will find that they are always looking for ways to become better. They are looking to improve the shining moments of life. They want to be good. They want to help more and be more than they have ever been before. They do this because they know that when they do they feel most happy.
What Do You Think?
I am interested in what you think about this. Do you think that you have to make a choice between being good and being happy? What do you think causes happiness? Please take a moment to share your thoughts with me by commenting below.
Shine your light on someone today who is in darkness. Let them know that Life is Good!
Andrew Thorn
760-559-3548
athorn@telioscorp.com
