One of the most powerful questions I ask myself is, “Who do I want to become?” Whenever I am feeling lost, I consider this query and instantly I find myself connecting with who I am and who I want to be.
Though this interrogative evokes powerful thoughts, it is not enough to merely think. If we really want to become our best, we must be willing to move our feet. That means doing whatever it takes to get better, which generally involves changing our behavior.
This poses a fairly significant problem. Let’s face it, no one likes to change, especially successful people. Sure, we say we like change, but for some reason we resist it as much as we possibly can. The only time we really like change is when we are acting as the change agents and inviting others to change. The change that we prescribe always tastes better than the change that is prescribed to us.
I love Change
Right now, you may be thinking that you know people, who fit this description, but you really do like change and that you embrace it as often as it is presented to you. It is always easier to see the truth about things in others, but what I am saying is just as true for you as it is for me, and as it is for anybody and everybody else.
Not convinced? Please take a few moments to consider the last time someone asked you to change, or to do something that you didn’t want to do. What were your reasons for not wanting to do what they asked? Some of the most common reasons are:
- What they wanted didn’t fit my plans.
- I didn’t know how to do what they were asking.
- I didn’t trust the person who was asking.
- I didn’t have time to do what they wanted me to do.
- I considered it, but it wasn’t the best solution for me
- If they knew me better, they wouldn’t ask me to do this. They would just accept me for who I am.
Whatever your reason, and however valid, your reasons and excuses were a direct manifestation of your resistance to the change the other person wanted you to make. Simply put, we don’t like change. We like things to be consistent. We like to be accepted for who we are.
Changing vs. Growing
There is a better word that we can use to describe what we really desire when we call for change. The word of which I speak is “growth”. Growth is most simply defined as an increase by natural development. While many of us are resisting the idea of change, only a few of us resist the idea of growth. We want to grow. Our growth symbolizes our individual maturity.
Unlike change, which frames its work in terms of what we need to stop doing, growth is always expressed in terms of what we need to start doing. Instead of being told what will happen to us if we don’t stop doing something, we are told how happy we will be, how much better we will feel, and how much more we will have when we grow.
We accept pain as a part of growth. In fact, we have developed affirmations to deal with the pain. Who among us has never heard the phrase, “no pain no gain”? We understand that we can’t grow if we are protecting ourselves so we let our defenses down and allow ourselves to receive the nourishment, even when it is painful, so that we can become our best.
At first, growth looks like change, but it is radically different. Change is externally motivated. Growth is internally motivated. Change wants us to be like somebody else. Growth calls us to become our very best.
Leaders Inspire Growth
A leader's main job is to inspire growth. There is no greater feeling than watching someone break through to a new level of awareness. It is thrilling to help somebody develop a behavior that helps them use their strengths more effectively. This is what true leadership is all about.
Before any of us can help another grow, we must develop a relationship of confidence and trust. Only then will they accept our efforts as being authentic and pure.
What are you doing to develop trust with those around you?
How are you helping them to grow?
If you are a leader, do you understand that your main role is to lift and support others as they become their best?
There will come a point in your career when you will not be able to grow any more without the help of others. Those around you will only be willing to help you if they know you are willing to help them. Don't wait until you are stuck. By that time, it may be too late. Look around and you will see many needs that you can meet right now. Helping others, equals happy days.
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