One of my goals for the year is to improve my guitar playing skills. I took my first guitar lesson when I was a little over eight years old. I had lessons on and off until I graduated from High School, but I never really practiced so I never really learned how to play. I always wanted to play, but I did not want to practice. It seemed boring and my mom grew tired of paying for lessons that were not practiced. Despite all the opportunities that I had as a youth I never learned to play.
Over 35 years have now passed since that first lesson and I still feel attracted to the idea of playing the guitar. That is why I decided to do something about it his year. A couple of years ago my brother Danny, who plays the guitar very well, told me about a famous guitar player named Esteban who was selling a CD course for learning to play the guitar. My sons wanted to learn how to play so I bought them the guitar and instructional CDs for Christmas. They said they wanted to learn how to play the guitar but liked practicing as much as I did and they never even opened the CDs. I decided I would use the CDS for my instruction this year. My goal for the year is to be able play the song Olympic Guitars by Livingston Taylor Download Olympic Guitar
As I began the course, I was taught again the very first thing every student of the guitar learns; how to tune the guitar. An untuned guitar can never produce the beautiful music I love. It must be in tune for it to be enjoyed. The process of tuning a guitar is fairly simple. The headstock, located at the end of the guitar neck is fitted with machine heads that adjust the tension of
the strings, which in turn affects the pitch. When you put the right amount of tension on the strings the guitar is in tune. When the tension is either too loose or too tight the guitar doesn't sound right.
Conflict In Life
There is a life lesson to learn from tuning a guitar and that is when I have either too little or too much tension in my life, my life will be out of tune. I need some forms of conflict and tension to help me strech and grow. I need to be stretched just like the strings of the guitar in order for me to reach my potential.
So why does conflict get such a bad rap. Most likely, it is because its common meaning is “a competitive or opposing action of incompatibles.” This is generally what we think of when we think about or experience conflict.
I don't think it is possible to learn without conflict. For me, learning occurs when I am presented with something that I have never experienced before. The things that challenge my existing beliefs are the most interesting to me. Avoiding these types of challenges prevents me from learning something new. Very few gains in my life have happened without some sort of conflict or tension. There is always opposition in every thing I do. Without it there would be no growth. Conflict promotes and even accelerates my growth.
Developing Conflict Competence
Despite the benefits of conflict that I am describing, I am also aware that it can be a significant derailer. In order for it to work in my favor I need to trust the typical sources of conlfict. I speak of the people I work and live with. When I trust those that I am dealing with, then I learn to accept their expressions of conflict as gifts. I recognize that they are only giving me the information I need to tighten my strings so that I can be in tune. This recognition helps me realize what I need to do in order to grow. When I keep this in mind I am much more likely to embrace new ideas instead of rejecting them.
When I stop and think about it, the biggest fear that comes from conflict is that I will have to change. Avoiding conflict is a defense mechanism that protects me from being wrong. This avoidance impedes my progress. When I do that, I am stuck with my limitations and I am unable to be free.
Getting the Most From Conflict
What are some ways that you use confilct productively? How has it derailed you in the past? Do you agree that it can be a productive part of your life? How do you deal with it home? What about in your work groups? Do you meet it head on, or do you avoid it to keep the peace? What questions do you have about conflict?
I find these questions and others very fascinating. I want to know what you are thinking and I look forward to hearing from you. As always, you can post a comment here, email me, or give me a call. Remember, if you are not in tune, you won't produce the harmony you want in your life. So tune yourself today.
Life is good!
Andrew Thorn
760-559-3548
