Several years ago I had the amazing opportunity to be Marshall Goldsmith’s personal coach. This was an incredible experience that lasted over 18 months. I say it was incredible, because at the time, Forbes Magazine ranked Marshall as the number one executive coach in the world. My responsibility was to help one of the greatest become even greater.
I enjoyed every minute of that challenge. Marshall’s levels of awareness are intensely high. Helping him, meant that I needed to finely tune my focus toward his needs. I learned very quickly that he was the expert on him and if I wanted to help him, I was going to have to get him to tell me what he wanted and how he wanted to be helped.
There was no room for my ego. I could not rely on my previous successes. To truly help him, I had to live each moment from the same intense level of awareness. I had to let go of me so that I could help him create a better him.
Symbiotic Relationships
This did not mean that I could not be myself, it simply meant that all of my efforts needed to be focused on him. The only agenda I could embrace was his.
This relationship forced me to learn in many new ways. My knowledge, skills, and abilities were tested nearly everyday as I worked to give him what he needed. One key learning was that I had to be willing to learn from him. I could not expect that the learning would be one way. As a result, I often told him that I was fairly certain that I was learning more from him, than he was from me. He regularly assured me that this was not the case and publicly and privately valued my work.
Our work together honed my skills and fostered my ability to be direct and involved, without losing sight of what really mattered in the lives of my clients.
Gratitude
Recently, Marshall Goldsmith was named winner of the 2011 Thinkers50 Leadership Award, which is sponsored by The Harvard Business Review. This award designated him as the World’s Most Influential Thinker.
Less than a week after Marshall received this award, I received a note of gratitude stating, “Dear Andrew, the support you gave me, helped make this possible”. Then, remembering our previous conversations and honoring our mutual commitment to learning, he stated, “I think I have learned more from you, than you have learned from me”.
None of this was necessary, but through this action Marshall reminded me of how important it is to show gratitude. I am especially touched by this message at this time of year. This is the time and season when we pause and remember the things and the people who contribute to our well being. It is the time when we pause to say thanks, but thanks is really not enough.
Next level gratitude requires us to clearly state the impact of the other by specifically acknowledging how they have contributed to our success. I am grateful for Marshall’s example of being willing to do that, even 5 years after our work together concluded. I can’t tell you how valued that simple act made me feel. When was the last time you reached to those who have supported you and thanked them for their many contributions? I encourage you to do that today.
Thank you Marshall Goldsmith – This kind act suggests that I continue to learn more from you. I rejoice in your success and I look forward to celebrating it with you soon.
Life is Good!
Dr. Andrew Thorn
760-559-3548
