I enjoyed every minute of that challenge. Marshall’s levels of awareness are intensely high. Helping him, meant that I needed to finely tune my focus toward his needs. I learned very quickly that he was the expert on him and if I wanted to help him, I was going to have to get him to tell me what he wanted and how he wanted to be helped.

There was no room for my ego. I could not rely on my previous successes. To truly help him, I had to live each moment from the same intense level of awareness. I had to let go of me so that I could help him create a better him.

Symbiotic Relationships

This did not mean that I could not be myself, it simply meant that all of my efforts needed to be focused on him. The only agenda I could embrace was his.

This relationship forced me to learn in many new ways. My knowledge, skills, and abilities were tested nearly everyday as I worked to give him what he needed. One key learning was that I had to be willing to learn from him. I could not expect that the learning would be one way. As a result, I often told him that I was fairly certain that I was learning more from him, than he was from me. He regularly assured me that this was not the case and publicly and privately valued my work.

Our work together honed my skills and fostered my ability to be direct and involved, without losing sight of what really mattered in the lives of my clients.

Gratitude

Recently, Marshall Goldsmith was named winner of the 2011 Thinkers50 Leadership Award, which is sponsored by The Harvard Business Review. This award designated him as the World’s Most Influential Thinker.

Less than a week after Marshall received this award, I received a note of gratitude stating, “Dear Andrew, the support you gave me, helped make this possible”. Then, remembering our previous conversations and honoring our mutual commitment to learning, he stated, “I think I have learned more from you, than you have learned from me”.

None of this was necessary, but through this action Marshall reminded me of how important it is to show gratitude. I am especially touched by this message at this time of year. This is the time and season when we pause and remember the things and the people who contribute to our well being. It is the time when we pause to say thanks, but thanks is really not enough.

Next level gratitude requires us to clearly state the impact of the other by specifically acknowledging how they have contributed to our success. I am grateful for Marshall’s example of being willing to do that, even 5 years after our work together concluded. I can’t tell you how valued that simple act made me feel. When was the last time you reached to those who have supported you and thanked them for their many contributions? I encourage you to do that today.

Thank you Marshall Goldsmith – This kind act suggests that I continue to learn more from you. I rejoice in your success and I look forward to celebrating it with you soon.

Life is Good!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

There is no doubt about it. What he did changed my life. I was an Apple Macintosh user when being an Apple Macintosh user wasn't cool. I bought Apple stock when it was $13.56 a share. Thankfully I am still holding it. I got my first iPod nearly a year before I ever heard anybody else talk about it. I am writing this on my MacBook Pro. My iPhone is in my pocket, and my iPad is within reach. These things changed my life and definitely make life more convenient, but did they make my life more meaningful?

The answer to that question is a definite no. What Steve did changed what I do, but it did not change who I am. As I examine his life, I am learning many lessons that I think can help me live a more meaningful life, but these are things that were largely hidden while he was alive. Sadly, much of what I am discovering as I read his biography speak more about how not to live a meaningful life then about how to live a meaningful life. I am not sure how Steve would feel about this statement, because I think he was generally confused about what mattered most: the market or the people. In my mind, there is no confusion. The quantity of what we do, can never compare to the quality of who we become. 

By Saying this, I do not mean to imply that he was a bad man. I think he was a good man who just got a little to busy, though, like most of us sometimes do. The busyness and the business of life prevented him, for much of his life, from focusing on what really mattered. His biography makes it pretty clear that he knew this about himself. Unfortunately, this self-awareness did not change how he lived for most of his life. This should not surprise us, Many of us see the same thing, yet we continue to focus on the things that matter least. There is a worldly pressure to do so.

The Motivating Force of Mortality

In 2003, Steve was diagnosed with a rare, somewhat treatable, form of pancreatic cancer. One great quality that he demonstrated from that point on was his extreme faith. His faith was not particularly spiritual, as he stated that the existence of God was only 50-50. He simply believed that he would survive the impact of this disease. He told us several times that he was cured. Reports indicate that he believed he would beat it, right up until the day he died.

Yet somewhere inside, he lived with the knowledge that his time was short. It is reported that he looked in the mirror everyday so that he could ask himself one simple question: "If today was my last day, would I do the things that I am about to do?" The question is revealing because of what he did with his time. The tech contributions he made after his diagnosis are the ones that define his legacy and the post-mordem advances that we are told are yet to be released will bless the world we live in for years to come. 

There is evidence to suggest that he valued his life more after he learned of the disease that eventually killed him. He is quoted as having said that his increased awareness of his own mortality motivated and focused him. Perhaps the clearest picture of what he valued comes to us from the commencement address he delivered at Stanford University in 2005. On that occasion he shared three simple lessons from his life. 

The lessons Steve shared at that time were all learned through his personal heartache, humiliation and close calls. Remarkably, this how we learn many things. Life has a way of presenting us with some event, person, death, idea, or relationship that challenges us beyond our capabilities. These things often lead us to the very edge of our own private resources. Sooner or later, no matter how much success we have enjoyed, we all "lose" at something. Through these losses, we learn that there is a larger journey; something bigger than what we produce.

For Our Greater Good

My question is this: Is a crisis necessary to motivate us to make meaning? 

I thought about this from a long time and I am convinced that the answer is no. In fact, I have done more than think about this. I have dedicated my life and my work to meaning making experiences. I found that the meaning that comes from understanding in moments of joy is much more powerful than the meaning that comes from the moments of crisis. I also learned that when I take the time to make the meaning during the good times the crises I experience seem more bearable. The strength I gain from this approach is remarkable. This is why I so often say, "Life is Good!" It really is.

So why don't we do it? Because thinking about the big picture, (who we want to be?), requires us to think big, while living into the results questions, (what do I want to do?), just requires us to do.

René Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." Thinking is not enough, as Steve's most famous campaign taught us, we must "Think Different". The big picture requires us to push the pause button, at least every once in a while, so that we can reflect and examine our life. This helps us become clear about what we want.

When the "Who am I?" question is well defined, the "What should I do?" questions are easily answered . That is how meaning is created. That is how we live into purpose. That is how we become whole and authentic. 

Goodbye Steve. We learned so much from you. I hope the most important lesson we learn is that no one gets out alive. If we could only learn to understand that one simple lesson, I am sure we allow our own mortality to motivate us to live a more meaningful life.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I marveled at his ability to see his own place in the circle of life at such a young age. His statement has stuck with me for many years and came back to me again as we recently said goodbye. He is now off to serve a mission in Concepción Chile for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints. Some 26 years ago, I said goodbye to my own family to serve a similar mission in Maracaibo Venezuela. It is now his turn.

A Sacrifie of Self

He left just a week and half ago and will not be back for two years. Our contact with him will be very limited. Saying goodbye, was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy that he made this choice, but that doesn't make me miss him any less.

His final week at home was spent packing his bags and packing up the things he would ultimately leave behind for the next two years. It was difficult to watch him decide what to do with so many of his childhood treasures. He spent a lot of time sorting and resorting the few things he wanted to make sure were available to him when he returns. 

A missionary leaves everything behind. On the day of his departure, he handed us his iPad and his cell phone. Then he deactivated his Facebook account. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these items. He willingly left them behind so that he could focus all of his energy on serving the Lord. He even gave up his name and will be known simply as Elder Thorn. This was difficult for me to watch, but because it was once my turn I understood. I know that what he is about to gain is worth so much more than what he just let go.

Finding Joy

The pursuit of happiness is common to all of us. We look everywhere for it. Unfortunately, this search often results in the development of some very selfish behaviors. Over the years, I have known many who have come to realize that there must be something more than the ways of the world. They look to find a better life. They look to find their better self.

Elder Thorn is doing that now, and he is about to learn one of Jesus' greatest lessons. He taught – "For whosoever will save his life shall lose: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it". My beloved son is now about to find himself. Through his efforts, he will realize that self-denial is an accelerated path to self-discovery. 

Yes, he will find happiness, but more importantly, he will find joy. So many people have wondered how Stacy and I can let our son go. They want to know how we will survive with only one brief email a week for the next two years. We will survive because we know our son is nobly dedicating himself to a cause that is much bigger than his individual desires. He will benefit in so many ways. He will learn things that are never learned in college. He will learn to lead others as he will be blessed with leadership opportunities that are rarely available to those so young. He will learn to boldly walk in the world and to take care of himself. He leaves a boy, and will return a man filled with joy.

Until We Meet Again

Goodbye Jacob. We will miss you. The noise in our home is not as rich without you here, but we are already feeling the blessings of your service. Thankfully, there is an image of you emblazoned upon my mind. As you walked out the door, you paused at the piano and played a few short notes. I had never heard the song before, and I cannot recall its melody. Instead, I can only see you sitting there and blessing us one last time with your beautiful music.

Now, the people of Concepción Chile get to hear your music and see your smile. Give it to them freely and share it openly. As you stand on the banks of the stream of missionary service remember: Now it is your turn. Don't waste a moment.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

There Is No Time In Eternity

The purpose of time is often debated. Some of the greatest spiritual and scientific minds believe that time is merely a measuring point in this temporal experience. They propose, that when we leave this realm we free ourselves from the constraints of time. I believe they are correct. Time is only felt in this existence because our entry and exit are marked by birth and death.

The fact that I accept this proposition, does not release me from the reality that time does exist in this sphere, and that I am subject to it. Still, I believe I choose the severity of its impact. In other words, if I focus on what time is doing to me, I become lost. Time then, erodes my memory of my eternal self, making it possible for me to forget my eternal identity. Once these memories are lost, I can no longer function as an eternal being. Instead, I become a slave to the clock. More clearly stated, my energy is drained by the mortal nature of this experience we mistakenly call life. 

Now Is The Measurement of Eternity

My thought process this week led me to the importance of the present moment. In eternity, that is all there is. "Now" is the only way you and I can step back into our eternal nature. A focus on the past often brings us guilt, a focus on the future often steals our energy to reach for our potential. It is not that we can don't learn from the past or that we must avoid looking to the future. I simply declare that these activities often become the dominating drive in our lives and as we dwell on the past and dream of the future we lose the only thing that is real: "NOW".

Our potential can only be reached and expressed in the present moment. The past is done. It can not help us now. We move from the past equipped with the lessons (knowledge) we gained, but that is all. we can not improve that knowledge by looking back, we can only use it now. The future is a dream that we create by engaging right now in the present moment. 

In eternity, there is nothing but "NOW". That is why we must learn to master it under the constraints of time. If we can not learn to master the present moment when the clock is ticking, we will be a useless force in eternity. Our time here will be wasted. We must learn to be about the business of purpose and meaning making in every moment. There is no waste in the righteous use of eternity. The moments do matter, and how we use them matters even more. 

Drink It In!

Right now, I hope you are thinking, "yeah, I get it." But maybe you are wondering why this matters. It matters, because I am certain that you spent most of your moments in the past week pursuing that which matters least. This is not a commentary on you, or how you are using your time, it is merely a commentary on the general nature of human beings. It is easy for us to forget the concepts of eternal worth. When we do, we freely trade them for the value that only time can redeem. Sadly, time is not on our side. Sooner or later, it runs out for all of us. Time cannot keep its promise. Meaningless experiences are always wasted on dead men. 

What are you doing right now?

How is that activity connected to the real you?

If your continue doing it, will fill your desire for purpose and meaning?

These are some of the questions that keep me in the now. When I ask them of myself, I find a greater ability to wake up and live in the moment with purpose and meaning. Life is now! Are you with me?

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

How much time did you spend this week reflecting about what is going on around you and planning your life?

What are you afraid of? Is your fear keeping you from acting courageously?

Do you know why you get up in the morning? Is your purpose clearly defined?

I ask you to consider these questions because they are directly related with the responses gathered from a one question survey of older adults (+ 75). The question is a simple one – "If you could live your life over, what would you do differently?"

I think the answer to this question is pertinent to all of us, but especially to those of us who still have the greater portion of the second half of their life to live. Are you as interested as I am in the responses? Do you think the responses can help you make a course correction if needed?

Trick Questions

Your answers to the questions I asked you to consider at the beginning of this post are very important. That is because the questions are closely correlated with the top three answers the seniors gave in the one questions survey. They said that if they could live their life over, they would do the following:

1. Spend more time reflecting on life.
   
2. Act more courageously.
3. Clarify earlier in their life their individual purpose.

Take a look again at your answers. Are you satisfied with your responses? Are you spending enough time in these areas to help you make meaning out of your life? It is your life to live and I affirm that now, is the most valuable resource you have. Use it wisely.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

We go through life with one regular thought in mind; "right now, I am willing to sacrifice my time and my focus on what is before me, because I know that when I finish this task, life won't be so crazy and I will then have the time to sit and focus on purpose and meaning."

The problem is, that day generally never comes. On purpose, we sacrifice our lives to the things that matter least. Most of us never wake up until it is too late.

I say most of us, because there are some fortunate individuals who face a crisis early. What? Did I just say they were fortunate enough to face a crisis? Yes I did. These are people who early in their adult lives either watched a loved one pass on, suffered their own health crisis, experienced a divorce, lost a job or faced significant financial difficulties. As a result they found a desire within them to focus on purpose. They saw that the things we all think are so important are really not that important, and they grew.

Most Of Us Never Face a Major Crisis

Sadly, this doesn't happen for most of us. We may experience part of the pains mentioned above, but they don't filter deep enough into our souls for us to stop and consider them a crisis. We think it is just the way life is. Even more sad is the life that some individuals live without facing any crisis at all. They just go through life with very few challenges to stretch or try them. Truth be told, these are generally very successful people. Their successes make it even easier for them to avoid the work needed to identify purpose and create meaning. 

As a result, the thought of thinking about purpose or meaning is inconsequential. Why would they do that when everything is going well. There is enough light to see, so they can't see that it would be better if it were brighter. The lack of crisis often prevents them from really living a life on purpose until it is too late.

That Nagging Feeling

This does prevent them from feeling the pains that come from growing old. As they age, they begin to see that the trade-offs are not really giving them the ROI that they imagined receiving. They feel the pain, but they also feel unable to do something about it. I mean, what does a 50 year old man do in an economy like this, if he is unsatisfied and unfulfilled with his current circumstances. Most just turn away and from the big questions and say, "I am too old for that!"

Some questions can only be answered by you. These are questions that no one else, not even God can answer. You have to spend the time answering them for yourself. Living in these questions helps you create purpose and meaning. It helps you to see what steps you can take to be happier and what the cost will be of taking those steps. 

I am speaking about some pretty big questions. Questions like; "What do you want?" and "Why are you afraid?" These questions scare us so we ignore them, hoping they will go away. They never go away until we face them. Avoiding them feeds them and they stay with us and haunt us. They are difficult questions to answer, but they must be answered if we are to live a life of purpose and meaning. 

Where Are You?

Are you afraid of these questions, or are you asking them regularly? If you are asking them, what are you doing with your answers? 

A happy life requires you to not only ask these questions, but to also do something about them. These two activities combined represent the beginning of the pathway to purpose. When you activate your efforts in the pursuit of your promptings, you begin the path to becoming your best. That is a path that I want to always be on.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

These questions are the result of my brainstorming what I want in 2011. I just turned my hands loose and started letting them flow from me without thinking. Some questions led to other questions, but there really was no thought in the order, or restraint on my part. I just let them flow from me.

Reflection

About three quarters of the way through I noticed that I was not proposing any "why" questions. As this fact bubbled out of my subconscious and into my conscious thought I asked myself, "why not"? I determined that it was because the "why" questions do not empower me to be my best. They do not help me in any way. 

What questions are you asking yourself?

How will they help you become your best?

I am not seeking for life's answers. Instead, I am living in the question.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

What Do You See? 

As we walked, we came upon a group that was seated in front of a dutch painting. They were listening to an expert who was describing its intricate details as well as the artist's intent. Someone invited us to join the group and we obliged.

Almost immediately, I began to feel very uncomfortable. To me, the expert was taking all of the mystery out of the painting. Her efforts forced us to see the painting through her eyes. To be fair, she may have been explaining the exact intent of the artist, but doing so ruined the the beautiful experience of seeing it for myself.

It didn't take long for me to notice that my client felt the same way. We looked at each other and knew it was time to move one.

The Art of Self Discovery

Just prior to this encounter, we were discussing the journey of self discovery. A request to accelerate the process was expressed. My client had not yet experienced a desired break through and looked to me for answers.  I explained that we cannot be pushed into defining moments. Instead, we must discover them at our own pace.

Upon leaving the expert's briefing, I asked her to tell me what she thought about the presentation. She said it was too detailed for her and raised similar feelings that I had felt. Her expressions provided the right frame to continue our conversation.

Our greatest questions can not be explained by somebody else. The answers we seek our within us. If we want to find them, we must be willing to search them out. This is not an easy process, nor is it a process that we must do on our own. Others can help us through the discovery process, but they cannot explain it to us.

Seeing Things Through Our Own Eyes

The expert interpreted the painting through her own experiences. That forced me to see what she wanted me to see, which may not have been what I needed, or wanted to see.

As a society, we have been lulled into the belief that we need somebody to explain it all to us. As a result, we are constantly exposed to the agendas of the day with very little attempt to hide these persuasive efforts. Great effort is being made to reframe bad as good and good as bad. Sadly, many of us are falling for the hallucinogenics of prime time story telling.  

We need to step away from the social reconstructive efforts of the day so that we can rediscover our own voice. It is the only way we can begin to see things as they really are. It may be that we will see things exactly the way they are being described to us, but at least then we will know where we stand without the emotional swell that comes from the constant bombing of politically correct propaganda. 

My Wish For You

I want you to hear your own voice. I want you to set your own standard and live by it. I know this can be a difficult process, but it is worth it. I frequently ask my clients the question, "what are your values?" and instead of an immediate answer, I am met with a blank stare. This tells me that the person has either forgot his or her values, or is unwilling to stand up for them.

Do you know what your values are?

Are you standing up for them?

When was the last time you had a conversation with yourself?

I invite you to engage yourself in meaningful conversation. Step into it, and give yourself the gift of self dialogue. Question the things that are going on right now. Ask yourself if they are aligned with your personal values. Don't be afraid if they are not. It is ok to feel disconnected from many of the messages that are being put into our social atmosphere. I realized long ago that a life unaligned with values is a life devoid of meaning. What do you stand for?

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Staying In Shape

As I age, I notice that I must do different things to stay in shape. I still consider myself an aggressive runner, but I can't run like I did five years ago, so I run at a new pace. The intensity of my workouts is changing, but the energy expressed is nearly the same.

One thing remains constant: a nutritional diet is a key ingredient to living a healthy life style. If I want to look good, then I must eat good. It is a pretty simple formula to follow.

Special K

Recently, there has been a lot of talk in our area, about the Special K diet. The claim is that if you eat a bowl of Special K for breakfast, another bowl of Special K for lunch and then, a sensible dinner you will lose the weight you need to lose to get into your skinny jeans. 

The reason Kellogg believes that it can make this claim is because they say Special K has all of the nutrients your body needs. The theory is that if you put the right things in your body, then your body will be at its best.

The World Around Us

I have no doubt that the theory behind the Special K diet is correct and that if you follow the plan, you will see the results it claims you will get. I bet most of you agree with me, that when we put the right nutrients in our body, we are able to get in our best physical shape.

We understand the concept of watching what we eat, but for some reason, we give little though to what we put in our mind. Perhaps we do think about it, but we do very little to make sure we are not subjected to the garbage on our airwaves.

When I was a kid, I remember campaigns against questionable shows. If it pushed the envelope too far, our parents and grandparents wrote letters to let the network know that we were not happy. Now, it seems we are not happy if it is not pushing the envelope beyond previous marks.

It is not just the shows anymore, the commercials are full of suggestive material that is hard to describe without using the word filth. These commercials come on in the middle of good shows. Those in favor of allowing shows on diverse topics once said, if you don't like the show, then change the channel, but now you can like the show but still feel compelled to change the channel because of the commercials. There just is very little of high quality and standards on anymore.

What To Do?

I know we can't just hide our head in the sand, but we need to be aware of what we are allowing in our homes and in our minds. There is an impact. James Allen described that impact best when he restated a verse from Psalms – "As a man thinketh, so shall he become."

What are you allowing in your home?

How do you protect yourself and your family from destructive media?

Are your standards working to elevate your thoughts?

Our mental fitness is just as important as our physical fitness. We must be careful about what we let into our minds or we will suffer a decaying consequence. Virtue of thought is a critical part of our ability to become our best. I leave you with this quote from Benjamin Franklin:

"It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain, that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous."

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Making The Moments Matter

Our busyness, kept our focus on each event. We were constantly engaged in planning and executing. It was a constant struggle just to keep up, Consequently, we did not have time to stop and smell the roses. There just didn't seem to be time for that.

This approach kept us moving forward, but it prevented us from being in the moment and fully enjoying all of the work that we did to get there. 

Fortunately, something clicked during the weekend of our daughter's wedding. We realized that this was a day that we had anticipated since Christina's birth. The day before the wedding, Stacy and I took a moment to reflect on Christina's life. We also considered the work we had done to get her to this point, and the many contributions that others made to help us raise our daughter and prepare for this day.

We knew that we had a lot of work to do to prepare for this event, but we also saw how important it was to be in that moment. We decided to look up from our labor and enjoy its fruit. We committed to each other that we would love the day, no matter what happened with our plans. 

Event Planning

Shortly after our conversation, I began to consider the work involved in planning an event. All efforts are purposely focused on creating an experience. Sadly, the event often overrules the moment. We want to make sure we have enough cups and napkins and if it appears we are running short, it is easy to get caught up in solving that problem instead of just being there.

As a result, we miss many of the magic moments that define a happy life. We are there, but not really there. Our mind is somewhere else and special moments are often missed. The pause we took helped us recalibrate and realign our efforts to our purpose. Thankfully, our brief conversation woke us up and helped us to live in that moment.

Are you celebrating the moment?

What do you do to shift your focus from the event to the moment?

What moments are happening right now that are worth celebrating?

Living in the moment can feel very difficult to do. Our responsibilities often get in the way. The key is to briefly let go so that we can experience the joy of our work. This may seem like an impossibility, but it gets easier as we engage.

Consider your driving habits. When you first began driving a car, you most likely clutched the steering wheel with all of your energy. Now, you are probably able to talk on the phone, take notes, eat a hamburger and pick your nose, while driving with your knee. Your comfort in the vehicle, is what allows you to do all that.

My invitation to you, is for you to become that comfortable in life. I want you to realize that you can do many things at one time, and that it is ok to let go of those many things every once in a while so that you can enjoy the moment. I am certain that you will be able to keep yourself moving forward. Don't miss the moment – wake up and seize it!

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I am suing for a couple of rule changes, and the right to be a professional baseball player. My inability to hit a fastball, or throw a wicked curveball has prevented me from making millions of dollars, and I don't think that is fair. I want, what Manny Ramirez has, an opportunity to provide for my family in the most comfortable way.

Change of Rule

I only want two rules changed. I doubt they will impact the game very much, but these changes will create more opportunities for individuals like me to make the team. 

First, I want all batters to be blind folded. This will eliminate the advantage of one pitcher's natural talent over the rest of us. Second, I want to eliminate foul territory and make everything inside the stadium fair ground. 

Like I said, I doubt these rules will change the game that much. Scoring is pretty low now as it is, so the blind folds will even out the "everything's fair"  rule change. I am certain, that if these rules were enforced, I could be a major leaguer.

This is 2010

Purists, will say that these rule changes will destroy the game. They should consider the fact that these rules will be a welcome update to a game that is now outdated and losing fans. This change will bring new fans the sport, while having very little impact on current fans. The game is old fashioned and we need to make it better. We should not accept the old rules, just because they have always been there. It is time to move this game into the 21st Century.

It's Not Fair

I have tried since I was a boy to be a major leaguer. My lack of talent has always prevented me from being signed by a team. It is not my fault that I was born this way. I have done everything I can to play by the rules but the rules, clearly favor individuals who were born with baseball skills. That is not fair.

Some individuals have had the nerve to suggest that I could still be involved in the sport, by working as a groundskeeper, a coach or manager, in the marketing department, as part of the administrative staff, or even as an executive. One person even told me that if I worked very hard, I might even be able to buy a team. I can't believe they would be so insensitive to suggest these options. 

My dream is to be a major league ball player. I am not interested in any of those other roles. I demand justice and justice must be served. It is not my fault that I was born without the talent to play the sport. I want to play. Why should the ones born with talent be the ones making the easy money. I want some of that too. 

For The Good of The Game

Traditionalists will argue that these rule amendments will change the institution of baseball, and that the sport will not survive if we allow this to happen.

What do they know? I say that more damage is being done to the game by the heroes in the game that we currently worship. They are the ones that have used steroids to increase their natural advantage. They are the ones that bet on the sport. They are the ones that only try their hardest in a contract year and then loaf the rest of the time. What impact does that have on the game? 

In the long run, I don't really care if it ruins the game, in fact, I think that if I am not allowed on the field than nobody else should be either. I want equal protection under the law to be able to realize my dream of being a super star baseball player. Nobody should be denying me that right.

Conditions are Ripe

I will file my suit in Los Angeles, because fan support of baseball is a bit apathetic in LA right now. I mean, 22 years have passed since we last won a championship. This is a Laker town and nobody cares about a losing baseball team with M.I.A. owners. My rule change would make all of the teams more evenly matched too, and we might get a championship here in our city. That would be good for everyone.

Some of the veteran and former baseball players are supporting my legal action. They say, that they made it on talent, and they still think it should be that way, but they often wonder why they were born with their talent and they feel a little guilty to have made so much money and fame because of something they came upon naturally. They think a guy like me should have a chance too, so they are on board. They won't change their mind on how important it is to have talent, but they want to support me.

Some of the current players are also with me. They say that they are bored with the game and that only the most talented make the most money. The can see how this will level the playing field and they want in on the action.

I've Made Up My Mind

I am certain that many people will think that I am ruining the game. That is why I am making this a legal matter. The courts are there to protect me against the majority mob. I have a dream to play baseball, and I think it is only fair that I get to fulfill that dream.

The problem is that most people do not even understand how our legal system works. They think the when the majority rules that's how it should be. Luckily our Founding Fathers were smarter than Major League Baseball. They knew that a talented majority could make it impossible for an untalented minority, thereby keeping us out of the game. That's why they created a system of checks and balances to avoid that situation. Those who would oppose this legal action are not only condemning our Founding Fathers, but are promoting "mob rule" as a way to dictate who or who does not get to be a superstar baseball player. Baseball is America's game, do they not comprehend how completely un-American that is?

You are free to join me on this action. You are also free to oppose me. That is what makes this country great. I am always amazed at how irrational disagreement can be. I am sure there will be many of you who send me hate mail, and even threaten me, but I don't care. I am willing to stand for my rights. I hope I get a judge who will help me hit a home run.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Piling On

Here is just a sample of what I am talking about. Yesterday, while I was working in Los Angeles, I got a flat tire. While fixing the tire, my son Jacob called to tell me that his car had overheated and that he was stuck on the side of the road. He was on his way to pick up our daughter Sarah, who had got sick at school and had waited in the medical office for two hours while the school tried to get a hold of us.

Jacob was worried about calling me because he had mistakenly backed into a friends car on Friday night and caused about $500.00 worth of damage with what he describes as a nudge. I laughed as I listened to his voice mail – "Dad, this is Jacob. There is something wrong with the car, and I did not run into anything."

When I finally got a hold of him, he asked a very interesting question. He said, "Dad, we are busy with some good things right now, why are we facing so many challenges too?"

Grin and Bear It

I was grateful for this teaching moment. I explained to Jacob that bad things happen to everybody, and that bad things never happen in a convenient moment. I then went a little deeper. I told him that our trials serve as defining moments. The way we respond to them defines the level of happiness we enjoy in our life.

You and I have at least two choices when we are faced with trials. We can hang our heads and ask, "why is this happening to me?" or, we can lift our heads, smile and say, "I can't wait to figure out the answer to this problem?"

Jacob wondered aloud, "our finances our tight right now as we prepare for Christina's wedding. I know we don't have any money to fix cars, how will we do it?" I was thankful to be able to say, "I don't know how we will do it, but I know we will. A way will open up. It always does."

Walking in Faith

The confidence I displayed as I spoke to Jacob was not contrived, nor was it discovered yesterday. It was built in the face of many different challenges. It was fostered by moving forward in the midst of uncertain circumstances. 

When we walk in faith, it appears to those who are watching that we are not afraid or worried about anything. That is a misperception. The fact is that fear and worry both reside inside a confident individual, we just don't allow them to be the dominating emotions. We acknowledge that they are there and that they won't help us move forward and so we leave them alone.

Murphy's Law, applies to everyone of us. Bad things happen. Nobody is free from that reality. The difference maker is simply the choices we make when we are confronted by our trials. We can choose to move forward, or we can choose to cry, "whoa is me".

What do you normally choose?

How do you motivate yourself to move forward?

Last night, Stacy and I sat and reflected on the events of the day. I played the various voice mail messages detailing the report of each challenge, and we laughed at the severity of the situations. We knew those messages spelled trouble – but we were somehow able to feel thankful that we would be able to survive them. Together, we took inventory of all of the things for which we feel gratitude. Amazingly, even our trials made that list. Sure, we would love to live life without them, but we realized that that, would be no life at all.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Ouch

Several years ago we purchased some land in the desert with hopes of one day building a new home for our family. The land included a very old and small home that was pretty dilapidated. Over the years, we have remodeled this home and we occasionally rent it out. 

The water pressure there is very light. To counter this problem, we installed a water tank and pump to increase the pressure. The home was vacant last winter and the pipes to the pump froze and cracked. We have a new tenant moving in this week and it finally became necessary to fix the leak.

To begin the project, I cut the pipes, moved the tank out of the water closet, and unbolted the pump motor from the top of the tank. I then got busy with some of the other preparations. In the midst of all the work, I needed to move the tank from where I had originally placed it. Without much thought, I began to push it out of the way. The motor, though unbolted, was still on top of the tank. When I moved the tank, the motor, which weighs about 50 pounds, fell and landed squarely on top of my left foot. 

I saw stars. I only thought that happened with a hit on the head, but I actually saw stars. The pain was incredible and I was certain that I had broken my foot. Fortunately, it only resulted in a large, purple and black bruise. 

It Hurts

I did a stupid thing. I unbolted a 50 pound motor and left it balancing on top of a water tank four feet off the ground. My foot paid the price and now I am limping around. The pain will be with me for a while and it hurts. Sometimes we let the pain be more significant than the lessons that come from the pain. This happens when we dwell on the stupid thing we did to cause the pain. 

When we experience pain, we have at least two choices. We can beat ourself up for being so stupid, or we can learn from the experience and resolve to be more careful in the future. I choose the latter. The pain serves as a reminder and as an inhibitor from doing more stupid things. In this sense I am grateful for the pain, and I see it as a learning experience.

Letting Go!

One of the essential components of pain is that it hurts. It wouldn't be pain if it didn't. Some, embrace their pain and hold on to it like it is the only thing they have. Others view it as a temporary inconvenience and move on as quickly as they can.

We must not hold on to our pain, that will only make it hurt worse. Instead, we must move on and carry on with our life. Moving forward minimizes the pain and puts us in position to learn from its source.

Are you holding on to your pain?

What will have to happen for you to let it go?

How long will you wait to do it?

Only two days have passed since I smashed my foot. I am amazed at how well it is doing. I am not focused on the pain. Instead, I am moving forward with my life. I must do things a little differently right now, but I am confident that very soon I will return to normal activities. My confidence comes from my ability to let go of the pain. I invite you to do the same.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

As I went through the different scenarios in my brain, about how I would behave if this were my last day, I realized how fortunate I am to have this thought, and how important it is to act on the thoughts that entered my mind. 

As I thought about some of the aspirations that I still want to pursue, I began to laugh. My laughter was a result of the joy I felt in considering my life. Stacy wanted to know why I was laughing, and I told her that we had won the lottery. She began to laugh too, because she knew that I was dreaming again.

Life is Long

Too many times, we hear the phrase, "life is short". Looking back, that certainly seems to be true, but as we move forward through the trials of life, it can also feel very long. I think it is too long to be engaged in things that cause us, or others to suffer. 

I don't know how much time I have left, but I know I am going to fill each day with activities that bring joy to my life and to the lives of others. I don't want to waste any time in discouragement while there are so many shining moments to embrace. I choose to stand in the light.

What if today were your last day?

How would you spend your time?

Who would you spend it with?

You will most likely rise with the sun tomorrow, but just in case, don't you think you should spend at least part of today, doing the things that will bring you and others joy? The world is waiting. What will your contribution be?

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Beginning

As I watched her walk out the door today, my memories of the first day of school flashed through my mind. I remembered the good and the bad came. I felt the excitement and anticipation to go back, along with the unwillingness to put an end to summer.

My memories of my school years quickly moved to other "starts" that I have experienced throughout my life. I realized that all of those "first day of school experiences" prepared me for the many other "first day" experiences I have faced in my life. 

The "firsts" of starting a new job, living in a new city, beginning life as a husband and then later as a father are all days that I remember and cherish. They are the experiences that brought my dreams to life. Each beginning brought some anxious moments and some remarkable moments. I am grateful for all of those new beginnings.

Leaning Forward

As I have aged, I have noticed that I must now manufacture beginnings. There are very few required "firsts" that are left for me to experience. If I want to do something new, I must make it happen.

I enjoy creating a "new me" each and every day, so I am always looking for new ways to stretch myself. Today was one of those days. I actually got behind a microphone and hosted my own radio program. At times, it was scary, but for the most part, I felt very natural. My producer told me that he did not believe it was my first time. I hope the audience thought so too. The opportunity to begin this new experience was something that I created. I asked the right questions, at the right time and the show was booked. I am happy to be taking things to a new level.

When was the last time you started something new?

What aspirations do you have that are yet to be fulfilled?

What will it take to make it happen?

It is easy to sit around as we age and reason that there are no mountains left to climb, or that there are no mountains left that we can climb. I believe we can always learn, and that we can always create new beginnings. I dare you to join me in this belief and set a new standard for yourself. I promise you won't regret it.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Back In The Saddle Again 

Today, I feel rested and ready to jump back in to the game of life. As I sat down to plan my week, I realized that I am in the midst of some very significant commitments. Several of these projects are set to kick-off over the course of the next two weeks and I am not ready. 

A part of me feels very worried. The weight of these responsibilities is heavy and there is a lot riding on their successful completion. My immediate desire is to ride off in multiple directions with the hope of getting as much as I possibly can get done on each project. I know this strategy will not work so I am tempering this desire with focused planning.

The Busy Life

Sometimes when we are busy, we feel the urge to move quickly. Because there are only so many hours in the day, we believe that moving fast will help us accomplish more. Unfortunately, many of us have come to know for our selves, that speed is usually not the best solution. The truth is, it often leads to more pressure and stress and a lot of mistakes. 

The key is to align our actions with our purpose. This ensures that we are always moving in the right direction. Movement in the right direction, even in the most stressful of times, is always more valuable that moving quickly. We have all experienced the thrill of going no where fast. It is in those moments when we long to be on the right path.

Busy work is often necessary, but we must make sure that our busy efforts will actually lead us to the results we want. If it won't, then we need to find out what will, or we will begin to feel overwhelmed and out of balance. 

Moving Forward

Forward progress, gives us a sense of satisfaction. It helps us feel good about the work we are doing and renews our energy. 

Are you making progress on your meaningful goals?

Do you appreciate the progress you are making?

When was the last time you slowed down so that you could make sure that you were moving in the right direction?

We are in charge of creating our own legacy. We will leave one, whether we focus on it or not. Planning, helps me understand the ramifications of each and every move i make. When I plan, I move with purpose, when I fail to plan, I become subject to the random pulls of the universe. Whenever I feel busy, I remind myself that there will always be enough time to accomplish the things that matter most. Then I spend a few minutes reconnecting with what really matters. It may seem like a delay in the heat of things, but it always saves me time. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I See Me

This morning, during a meditative moment, I pondered some instructions on how to live a balanced and happy life. I saw a few gaps in my own personal behavior and began to contemplate how I might grow beyond these personal stoppers.

As I thought about each item, the faces of the people I described at the beginning of this post entered my mind. I saw that the things that are bothering me about them are actually things that are bothering me about me. My behavior, in many ways parallels their behavior. The circumstances are different, but the actions are very similar.

As I allowed myself to dig deeper, I began to see an even bigger sin. The image of the "judgmental" me stood before my eyes and I witnessed the pain that I am causing others. Instead of comforting them while they were in need of comfort, I judged them. My words did not condemn them, but my silent actions added to their sorrow.

Convicted, I sat marveling at how easy it is to project my own sins upon others. The rancor I feel at their behavior is actually a release from my own disappointment. Judging and condemning someone else for some reason, makes me feel free from my own fault. They become the worst side of me, and I somehow eliminate my own guilt.

Moving Forward

The purpose of my life is to help others become their best. There is work for me to do so that I may fulfill that vision. The growth opportunity now standing before me is one of letting go. I constantly say that life is not about what we do, it is about what we do about what we do. My behavior has been inconsistent with that belief. I have held on to the past, instead of allowing the people in my life the freedom and opportunity to move forward. This grip on what happened, will continually prevent me from moving forward. These questions helped me refocus my efforts.

What do I really want for my friends?

Am I comforting them in the moments when they need comfort?

In what way can I support them now?

Am I willing to forgive myself and move forward?

I finished my morning meditation knowing that some of the judgement remained with me. I know that awareness is only the beginning and that I have work to do now to let go. As I let go of some these feelings, my own imperfections stare me in the face. It is easy to feel angry with myself, and guilty for behaving in such a way. These feelings don't last long because I willingly forgive myself and consciously decide to be better. As I look at the previous me, I feel grateful for the lessons learned. The sun is shining and I can see a glimpse of the future me. This gives me the hope and the faith I need to move my feet. See you on path.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Creative Avoidance

When I waste these moments, either sleeping or engaging in activities that are unaligned with my purpose, the rest of the day follows suit. Things just don't flow like they should and I end up wandering around in a bit of stupor trying to catch up. My search for replacement moments that will allow me to connect with my "best self" is rarely, if ever fulfilled.

My greatest disconnects happen during the summer months. It is during this time that I experience the biggest conflict between the demands of my personal and professional life. When my children are in school, they are also getting up early and going to bed early, but when they are on summer break, they stay up late and sleep in.

When I stay on course with my "early to bed and early to arise" way of living I spend fewer moments with them. It is sometimes difficult to balance the value of getting up early with my value of spending family time together. Over the years, I have become free within these competing interests and found ways to manage the dissonance.

My Key

My game begins early. My chances for a productive and successful day are magnified when I get up early. I know this because I have experimented with my schedule. I do my best to organize my life so that I am aligned with this awareness and I allow myself the luxury of breaking away when other interests would be better served. The key is that I know when I am most productive and I do my best to be awake and in motion during those times.

Do you know when you are most productive?

Are you maximizing those moments?

What strategies to you use to make sure nobody interrupts you doing that time?

Early works for me. It may not for you, and there should be no pressure to follow what works for others. If you want to be your best, then you must know when you are most likely to be at your best. Those who learn to live during those moments are able to succeed in during the times when they don't have their best stuff. They choose to organize their day in ways that allow them to live in the the rhythm of their best. Are you doing the same?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Dark Path

The details of the dispute are unimportant. Suffice it to say, that we each understood the agreement differently and expected something different from the other. When we discovered that our understandings did not match, we both dug in and took a stand for what we thought was right. This only led to more misunderstandings and a rise in temperature.

Our negotiations reached a boiling point yesterday. My partner chose to limit our conversations to email, which added to our inability to communicate effectively and resolve the issue. After a long day of virtual bickering, we both were ready to end all conversations. It seemed like there was no way for both of us to get what we want, so we both were ready to bitterly part ways. Neither one of us wanted that, but we weren't willing or able to find a compromise either.

Integrity

I awoke this morning with thoughts of this conflict. I marveled at the amount of wasted energy, and the simpleness of the dispute. I can see no value in sticking to my position, nor can I see any value in moving forward without resolving the issue or at least getting a part of what I want. We have entered the realm of lose / lose.

The more I thought about it, the more I began to see a value proposition that made sense: I desire to be a man of integrity, and integrity is not situational. By that, I mean that my ability to stand in integrity is not dependent on the other person's ability to do the same. The blessing of integrity comes to those who act justly, even when they feel like they are being dealt with in an unjust way.

I am not going to get what I want. I did not ensure that outcome in the beginning by clarifying what it was that I wanted, so I am unable to get it now. I am responsible for the situation and it is now i get to choose whether I will be a victim or a victor. It is simply my choice.

All it requires is for me to fulfill his version of the agreement. This means that I must let go of the wrong I feel and embrace what he feels is right. The monetary requirement is very small, meaning that it is not worth the negative energy that is being generated. 

What Is The Price?

This time the price ($) is small, so it is easy to come to this conclusion, but my wandering mind is wondering where the line would be drawn. In this case, a quality product was created, the dispute is over expectations unrelated to that fact. There is now no future relationship, but the present is still important. I am sure there are times when an inferior product is delivered that it is not worth behaving in this way. Standing in integrity does not mean that we allow others to walk over us, it simply means that we will do the right thing. I think we generally know the right thing, and if we listen to what is going on inside of us, we can summon the courage to do it.

It may seem unfair or unjust to concede the point with no compensation, but I have learned that the quicker I resolve negative issues, the sooner I am able to focus on the positive ones.

What do you do when you feel like you have been dealt with in an unjust way?

How do clear the issue so that you can move forward?

What is the price of your integrity?

As I write, I notice that I continue to feel bitter about the situation, but interestingly enough, I feel good about my decision. That is really all that matters to me. That feeling gives me the peace to move forward without looking back. There will always be conflict, but that does not mean that there must also be a conflicted soul. I choose to step above the fray and move on. I hope, that in your world, you will do the same. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

This Day Belongs To Me

I know it is because I make each day my own. My secret is to prepare as if everything that I am, depends upon me being ready to make the most of each day. I approach life with wonder – the type of wonder that awakens me to the possibility that I will be asked to step into the shoes of greatness. 

Even when the odds are against me, I step into my vision with a certainty that all will be well. I am not afraid of what might present itself, instead I remind myself that I am ready at a moment's notice to share my story and the moments that define who I am.

Do you make the day, or does the day make you?

Do you know who you are, and are you ready to be that person?

Are you willing to share the very best of you are with those you meet?

It is often a very scary proposition to stand in the vision. It requires faith and hope and an abundant nature. Too often we embrace our poverty as if letting go will deprive us of something worth holding. Today, I dare you to stand in your vision – it is where you will feel most alive.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548