Today, at 4:00 PM pacific standard time, I am filing a law suit against major league baseball in the US District Court in Los Angeles California. I thought about this, for a long time, and I really see no other way. I know my case will be difficult to win, but I am confident, that if I stick with it long enough, many others will join me and I will be victorious.
I am suing for a couple of rule changes, and the right to be a professional baseball player. My inability to hit a fastball, or throw a wicked curveball has prevented me from making millions of dollars, and I don't think that is fair. I want, what Manny Ramirez has, an opportunity to provide for my family in the most comfortable way.
Change of Rule
I only want two rules changed. I doubt they will impact the game very much, but these changes will create more opportunities for individuals like me to make the team.
First, I want all batters to be blind folded. This will eliminate the advantage of one pitcher's natural talent over the rest of us. Second, I want to eliminate foul territory and make everything inside the stadium fair ground.
Like I said, I doubt these rules will change the game that much. Scoring is pretty low now as it is, so the blind folds will even out the "everything's fair" rule change. I am certain, that if these rules were enforced, I could be a major leaguer.
This is 2010
Purists, will say that these rule changes will destroy the game. They should consider the fact that these rules will be a welcome update to a game that is now outdated and losing fans. This change will bring new fans the sport, while having very little impact on current fans. The game is old fashioned and we need to make it better. We should not accept the old rules, just because they have always been there. It is time to move this game into the 21st Century.
It's Not Fair
I have tried since I was a boy to be a major leaguer. My lack of talent has always prevented me from being signed by a team. It is not my fault that I was born this way. I have done everything I can to play by the rules but the rules, clearly favor individuals who were born with baseball skills. That is not fair.
Some individuals have had the nerve to suggest that I could still be involved in the sport, by working as a groundskeeper, a coach or manager, in the marketing department, as part of the administrative staff, or even as an executive. One person even told me that if I worked very hard, I might even be able to buy a team. I can't believe they would be so insensitive to suggest these options.
My dream is to be a major league ball player. I am not interested in any of those other roles. I demand justice and justice must be served. It is not my fault that I was born without the talent to play the sport. I want to play. Why should the ones born with talent be the ones making the easy money. I want some of that too.
For The Good of The Game
Traditionalists will argue that these rule amendments will change the institution of baseball, and that the sport will not survive if we allow this to happen.
What do they know? I say that more damage is being done to the game by the heroes in the game that we currently worship. They are the ones that have used steroids to increase their natural advantage. They are the ones that bet on the sport. They are the ones that only try their hardest in a contract year and then loaf the rest of the time. What impact does that have on the game?
In the long run, I don't really care if it ruins the game, in fact, I think that if I am not allowed on the field than nobody else should be either. I want equal protection under the law to be able to realize my dream of being a super star baseball player. Nobody should be denying me that right.
Conditions are Ripe
I will file my suit in Los Angeles, because fan support of baseball is a bit apathetic in LA right now. I mean, 22 years have passed since we last won a championship. This is a Laker town and nobody cares about a losing baseball team with M.I.A. owners. My rule change would make all of the teams more evenly matched too, and we might get a championship here in our city. That would be good for everyone.
Some of the veteran and former baseball players are supporting my legal action. They say, that they made it on talent, and they still think it should be that way, but they often wonder why they were born with their talent and they feel a little guilty to have made so much money and fame because of something they came upon naturally. They think a guy like me should have a chance too, so they are on board. They won't change their mind on how important it is to have talent, but they want to support me.
Some of the current players are also with me. They say that they are bored with the game and that only the most talented make the most money. The can see how this will level the playing field and they want in on the action.
I've Made Up My Mind
I am certain that many people will think that I am ruining the game. That is why I am making this a legal matter. The courts are there to protect me against the majority mob. I have a dream to play baseball, and I think it is only fair that I get to fulfill that dream.
The problem is that most people do not even understand how our legal system works. They think the when the majority rules that's how it should be. Luckily our Founding Fathers were smarter than Major League Baseball. They knew that a talented majority could make it impossible for an untalented minority, thereby keeping us out of the game. That's why they created a system of checks and balances to avoid that situation. Those who would oppose this legal action are not only condemning our Founding Fathers, but are promoting "mob rule" as a way to dictate who or who does not get to be a superstar baseball player. Baseball is America's game, do they not comprehend how completely un-American that is?
You are free to join me on this action. You are also free to oppose me. That is what makes this country great. I am always amazed at how irrational disagreement can be. I am sure there will be many of you who send me hate mail, and even threaten me, but I don't care. I am willing to stand for my rights. I hope I get a judge who will help me hit a home run.
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