Mental Capacity

Yesterday, as I ran up one of the tougher hills, I lost my concentration. My mental capacity gave out and I could not make it to the top. I was on a hill that I have successfully ran many times, but that did not matter. For whatever reason, I became disengaged from my mental escape and my ability to continue was thwarted.

I stopped briefly, hoping that I could regain my edge, but I could not get it back. I was a long way from home and my mind had decided that my run was over. I struggled to make it back to begin the day.

The challenges that I faced during my run, carried over into the rest of my mood. I did not feel physically tired, or discouraged, I just felt flat. My intensity was not there and I simply wanted to rest and do nothing.

Not Me!

Of course, I felt like I was too busy to rest and do nothing so I labored throughout the day to stick with it. That was nearly impossible to do. My focus was in another sphere and I was not interested in moving forward. All I needed to do was to stop and reflect and allow myself a moment to rest from the cares and challenges of the day. But I pushed on anyway.

The result? The day was one of the most unproductive days I have had in a long time. I was unable to get it together. The time I spent was wasted. I had to redo nearly everything I did several times over. Finally the day was over, but I had nothing to show for it.

Seeing The Signs

I knew on the run that it was going to be this kind of day. I could have walked home and then gone to some peaceful place to reflect, plan and heal. The signs were all there. Instead of seeing them and listening to them, I pressed on and reaped little, if any, reward.

Are you in tune enough with your being to know when it is time to take the mental breaks you need?

Are you willing to give yourself the permission you need to do it?

What value do you gain when you do?

When I came home from work, I took a brief rest. Then I went out and did some physical labor – the kind that made me really have to use my body and forget my head. It was a great break, and the exact opposite of the escape I normally enjoy when I get out to do physical exercise. This time the benefit was an escape from my mind, and that is exactly what I needed.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Life and Leadership In Harmony

I agreed to pursue the opportunity and carefully began to develop my strategic plan for winning the bid. The more people I spoke with, the more I understood that this would be a very good opportunity, but it probably wasn't a fit for me.

It was easy for me to see that the demands of the role would require me to abandon much of the work that I have developed over the past ten years. The benefit would be the stability associated with it, but the more I considered it the more I could see that it would require too much of me. 

It was true, that this opportunity would provide me with work close to home that would allow me to be more involved in the lives of my children, but it didn't seem like it would fulfill my career aspirations. The fit was not there, so I passed on the opportunity. It was a difficult decision, but I know it was the right one for me and the organization. I felt great harmony as I notified the organization of my intent to not pursue.

The Enemy of The Good

The decision became much easier, when I sat down to evaluate the opportunity. It was then, that I was able to set aside the emotion, and the goodness of the opportunity so that I could consider my values. I didn't take me long to see where it was aligned, and where it was not. Once I saw that, I was able to move forward without worry, regret or remorse.

As I sat thinking, I was reminded of a phrase my friend Eddie Peterson often says – "The enemy of the great, is the very good." This opportunity was in fact very good, but it seemed like it would place conditions on my ability to be great. I feel a terrific energy behind the work that I do, and I am certain that my hard work is about to pay off. Each day, I become more focused. This very good opportunity would have answered some of my short term needs, but it most likely would have hindered many of my long term goals.

When we are clear about what we want, we are able to say no to good things that might actually become distractions. The very things that may prevent us from rising to the next level are often very tempting to pursue. It is hard to say no to them because they are good, but if we want to become our best, we must be clear enough to let them go.

What good is standing in your way of becoming your best?

Are you willing to trust your vision and let if go?

What can you do today to ensure that your vision is seared into your conscious and unconscious efforts?

I am sure that this will not be the last time that I will need to make a choice between the good and the great. I know that greatness comes to those who are willing to go for it. That is where I find myself today – standing on the edge of greatness and taking the leap of faith that is required to reach for something more. See you at the top!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Filter

The summer rehabilitation begins with the addition of chemicals and steady filtering. Swimming pools use a cleaning system that pumps water through a filter and back into the pool. The filter traps the impurities from the water and allows the treated water to move back into the pool. The dirt and grime from the pool stays in the filter, but the filter eventually gets clogged with all the dirt and then it must be cleaned.

When the filter is dirty, the cleaning system does not work as efficiently. It actually must work harder to pump the water through it and so it loses its ability clean it in a timely manner. If the filter is not cleaned, it doesn't really matter how long you run the pump. It simply does not work. If you want a clean pool, you must have a clean filtration system.

Under normal operating conditions, the filter must be cleaned three or four times a year. Because we let the pool get so dirty over the winter, we are cleaning it daily. It is amazing to see how quickly it becomes clogged. Our pump is running 24 hours a day right now. The only time we turn it off is when we are cleaning the filter. The water, despite nearly a week of filtering, still looks unpleasant, but we are making progress.

What We Take In

Yesterday, as I was cleaning the filter, I though about my own filtering system. Today, we need to be much more vigilant then we needed to be 20 years ago. Then, we had policies and guidelines in place that filtered information for us. Today the internet and the relaxation of broadcasting standards means that we really operate most of the time without any other filter than our own.

I like the freedom that we have, but I understand the cost too. Our pool of information is corrupt and dirty. but that fact is not the real problem. The problem is that many of us are not maintaining our own reservoirs. We allow anything and everything to jump into it and the filth that now comes so easily into our lives is clogging our personal filters. They are struggling to keep up, but they are not doing the job. 

The use of pornography is at an all time high, and it is now as popular or more popular among women as it is men. We can barely escape its influence. It is in the popular shows, and now it is even in most commercials. 

Its impact is corrupting our leaders in politics, entertainment, athletics and business. None of them seem to be happy when we discover that they are caught in this trap. Each of them fight to get back what they had, a clean bill of living. Of course, this is not the only influence that is sullying our living pools, but it is one of the major ones. For many of us, it is time to clean the filter, and it will need to be cleansed many times before we can eliminate all of the filth from the information pool. 

Raise the Bar

From the windows of our home, we barely noticed the dirt in the pool. It wasn't until we had a couple of warm days that it began to really look bad. If we had turned on our filter system a week earlier, and added some chemicals, it would have become crystal clear much more quickly. I am often amazed at how much energy we spend thinking and worrying about our water supplies and how little we spend thinking and worrying about our information supplies. 

My invitation for you today is to look inward and begin to clean up. Yes, it is much more difficult to escape the dirt today, so I dare you to be different. I dare you to step out of the normal world and into a cleaner way of living. I know it won't be easy, but you can do it. It will make you a better leader, and a better person.

Is your filter on?

Are you maintaining it regularly so that you can keep your reservoirs clean?

Are you will do what it takes to only allow clean water in?

I believe that when we strive to live by pure and virtuous principles we are more likely to be happy. These filters provide the safety we need to really enjoy life. None of my children were willing to jump into the dirty pool. We must not be willing to live in a dirty world either.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

Measuring Your Growth

Every April and October, we take time in our home to measure the physical growth our children have experienced. Each child lines up against our pantry door and we place a mark that captures their current height. It is fun to see how much taller each one has become over the course of only six months. So far, no one has reached their peak and we are able to measure growth over each period, but we understand that eventually their physical growth will stop.

Fortunately, our personal growth and development never have to reach a peak. We can continue to grow throughout our lives. If we stay focused on becoming our best, we can consistently reach for, and arrive at, new heights.

Measuring this type of growth requires a different tool. We cannot use a tape measure or a scale. It also requires a different method for setting goals.  

BECOME Goals

Many of us have learned how to set SMART goals. This formula is an excellent tool for project management, but I don't think they work as well for personal growth initiatives. 

Growth and development are always focused on becoming. They are a process that is constantly in motion. I have been experimenting with a new model and came up with what I call The BECOME Formula™. This formula is more conducive to setting behavioral based goals, and staying engaged in the process. I find it to be fully capable of influencing our personal development. Here it is:

B – Believe that you can become better. 

E – Envision your success. Clearly define the development you want. Dream big.

C – Collect feedback from others. Make sure your efforts are delivering the results you want. 

O – Overcome the fear of being great. Believe in you and let go of any negative feelings.

M – Measure the cost of success. Know what commitments it will take and be willing to do them.

E – Everyday, be willing to do something that will move you closer to your goals. 

I have used this formula now for over two years and it works. It helps me to stay focused on becoming instead of achieving. That is the biggest difference between the SMART Goal formula and The BECOME Formula™ - It helps me stay engaged in the development that I really want in my life.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

These relationships seem to lead more often to friendships that are truly capable of lifting and supporting each other. We don't go around trying to tear each other down. The competition we feel is healthy. It doesn't matter if our agendas are similar or contrary. Because we respect each other, we are able to stand up and cheer each other on. 

Toxic Friends

Sadly, not all relationships are like this. Some friends are toxic. I have invested in many friendships that I knew would never become healthy friendships. I held to a belief that if I loved enough, the other person would learn to love me too. Sometimes, it just doesn't work. I have learned the hard way, on more than one occasion, that it really is easier to end these relationships than it is to hang on to them and hope that they will somehow mature. 

Of course there is pain associated with ending a toxic relationship, but it is a lot less than that associated with maintaining one. I find it interesting that these types of friends spend most of their time belittling and tearing the other down, then strongly protest when an attempt is made to end the relationship. I always wonder, "why do they want to be my friend? They don't support me or value me." I don't understand all the reasons behind it, but I know that toxic friends hate being cut off. 

Time To Clean Up

I am ending several relationships like this right now. Some of these people have been my friend for a long time. Some are very close to me, but I am tired of the abuse that is required to be their friend. I am certain, that I am not the ideal friend for these people either, so I am hopeful that we can make a clean break without a lot of drama.

I feel like I can love and support these people better by stepping away. I think even the best of friendships eventually reach a point where separate paths become more desirable, so I am ending these relationships with the thought in mind that it is time to go our separate ways.

I feel a little guilt for doing this, but I know that it is for the best. I know that I need to let these relationships go, because they are occupying too much of my time, and taking too much of my energy. I need to make room for the many wonderful relationships that are waiting to take me to the next level. 

I am saying goodbye while I still hold some form of goodwill toward the other. This will allow me to fondly remember the good times we may have shared. If I wait much longer, I am sure there will be a blow-up. I choose to avoid that, by simply saying farewell.

Moving On

Some will find this hard to understand. Some will be hurt, some will become bitter and others will feel a sense of relief. I hope they will eventually understand that it is just time to move on, and that moving on will create new opportunities for both of us to grow.

When was the last time you took an inventory of your friendships?

Do you know which ones are breathing life into your dreams and which ones are not?

What steps are you willing to take to make room for new healthy relationships?

As I move forward, I am conscious of the lessons I have learned. I recognized early on, that some of these friendships would never develop into healthy relationships, but I allowed them to develop because I needed something or wanted something that I thought I could get. In this way, I added to the toxicity and the drama,and for that, I am sorry.

I am reminded of a quote from Maya Angelou that one of my most precious friends shared with me. She said, "when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."  I will use that to guide the establishment of my new friendships. I hope you will too.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

A week before opening night, our director invited an outside voice to come and critique our efforts. This man, who is known for his excellence in directing and producing theatrical events, possesses an amazing ability to comment directly without regard for feelings. It is not his intent to hurt any feelings, he just believes that if we hear it from him, we have time to do something about it, but if we hear it from the audience, it is too late. Consequently, he is willing to engage in difficult conversations. 

The Hammer Drops

After our rehearsal, we gathered around as a cast to receive his feedback, which consisted of 26 pages of hand written notes. Each comment was brief and to the point. He did not attempt to sugar coat his remarks. He just presented them to us in a clear and precise way. 

Some of his comments I found to be very useful and others I found to be of little or no value. When he finished, I felt like a great gift had been bestowed upon our cast. I found myself feeling thankful, especially for the three or four pages that pertained specifically to me. 

I admit that some of his comments were harsh and difficult for some of cast members to receive, but I was even thankful for those thoughts. Our director us asked before we sat down to receive the feedback to simply listen to the comments without becoming defensive. He told us that we would most likely hear some things that would sting, but he assured us that he was very happy with our efforts and felt like this feedback could prove to be very helpful to us.

Ready To Receive

I came to the feedback session with a desire to improve my ability to perform in my role. I knew that I could become better, but I had done about all I could do on my own. My director had basically given me all the direction that he could give me too. I wanted this feedback, so I was ready to receive it.

I thought about the openness I felt as I heard some comments that would normally sting. I didn't feel their sting, instead I felt thankful. I contrasted those feelings with the feelings that I had felt in other feedback moments. I must admit, that in other times I have not been so gracious in receiving feedback. I wanted to know what made the difference.

At first, I felt like the difference was the speaker. This was an independent person who really had no interest in our production. I did not feel that his remarks were in any way personal. I just thought he was sharing, from an objective viewpoint, what we could do better. I thought about this for a moment, and then quickly identified some defensive moments when another independent voice was giving feedback, so I knew it wasn't just that.

I thought about many other reasons, but I kept canceling them out with other stories from my past. Finally, I realized that the difference this time was that I was truly open. This openness was not a state of mind, rather it was a feeling that came from my own awareness. I knew that I was doing the best that I could do. I accepted my efforts as good. I believed that I could get better. These feeling allowed me to readily receive the speaker's comments.

Open Up!

Suddenly it dawned on me. I am the only one that can make me feel defensive. If I truly accept myself, and if I learn to listen to myself, then I will come to see feedback in a whole new way. They comments are not meant to be gem or barb, they simply represent the truth from the other's perspective. I am in control. I can either choose to accept and do something about it, or reject and do nothing. It is my choice.

This open feeling does not come from listening to others. It comes from listening to self. There is a comfort and a confidence that comes from learning to hear our own voice. When we do it, we become more aware of what is going on inside us. That awareness gives us the ability to see things as they really are. When we see them, we recognize the need for external feedback and it becomes a helping hand, instead of a destructive fist.

Are you listening to your own voice?

Can you receive the comments of others, without feeling defensive?

What can you do to improve your ability to receive the gift of feedback?

The more aware I become of my own voice, the more capable I am of hearing the voice of others. I am not perfect at this yet, but I am improving. I still become defensive at times, but I am now able to quickly recognize that I became defensive and do something about it. The goal is to hear all forms of feedback without feeling any sense of destructive defense. The only way to do that, is to open up.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Our conversation touched on both the personal and the professional levels. He openly shared his strategies for creating harmony between his life and leadership responsibilities. Time passed quickly, and before I knew it our lunch was over. He didn't linger. He looked at his watch and said, "we need to get back to work", and began collecting his things to leave.

Most 72 year old men, might be leisurely passing through life. My new friend looks like he might be 52, and it is very clear that he is anxiously engaged in happy and well balanced living. It was also very clear that he is an extraordinary leader and that his leadership style is something that he spent a lot of time developing over the course of his career. Even more amazing is the fact that he continues to work at. I enjoyed our time together.

The Winds Of Change

The financial industry is an industry that is constantly changing. During our lunch conversation, I lost track of how many mergers and acquisitions my friend had experienced. He spoke of several in great detail, and others he mentioned as footnotes.

We spent a lot of time talking about a particular merger because the leadership philosophy of the two organizations was radically different. Of course the merger was a failure and ultimately destroyed the trust of many of the organization's customers and clients.

I marveled at the difference in leadership styles, and wondered how anybody could have believed that the two organization's would be a good match.

The organization that was being acquired was led by a man who believed that the number one goal was to make its people better. The acquiring organization was led by a man who believed that it should win at all costs. When the two organizations merged, the acquiring organization's leader was retained, the leader from the acquired organization was dismissed and the rest is history.

Visual Alignment

There may be a place for both of these strategies in different locations, but combining the two was a major blunder. The people from the different cultures never figured out how to co-exist and as a result, the best people from both organizations left, leaving only the mediocre and the challenged behind to build the new company.

This is why most mergers fail. Most of the strategy and vision making sessions are focused on the financial and competitive analysis. Very little time is spent examining the cultures and thinking about how they will merge, or even if they will merge. Those in charge, for some reason believe, that any culture can be blended with another. They just think it takes time, and so they do little to really identify whether or not there is a fit. They somehow think they can worry about that after the two organizations have been brought together. 

There may be a great match between technology, products, customer bases and market share, but none of those matter if the cultures are not aligned. The thriving organization must have a unified culture, or else it will cease to thrive. I am surprised that the more attention is not applied to the people side, usually only token words are spoken and then the people are left to figure it out for themselves.

Your Duty

I am speaking the truth about why organization mergers often fail, but that does not take you off the hook. In fact, what it really does is make you even more responsible for what is going on. You are a leader. Your role is to lead. Sometimes, leaders encounter difficult situations. The good ones get by, the great ones lead the organization and its people to new levels.

You may find yourself in the middle of a difficult merger right now. This is your opportunity to lead. Culture problems are resolved in the middle of the organization. The first thing leaders must do is to bring the new team together. They immediately eliminate all thought and talk of the old ways and rally the people around the new ways. They don't allow people to say, this is how we use to do it over here, or this is how we do it here. They bring people together and discover the new rules.

Are you in the middle of this right now?

What are you doing to bring the organization together?

What is it that will bring life to your new enterprise?

Don't sit on the side lines or bail out. Get involved and make a difference. Good jobs are hard come by right now and good companies are actually made by you. You have a role to play. Are you willing to take your place in leading your organization into its future?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I have worked in the organization for a while, and I know many of the people that were invited. The company used an internet invite, so those of us attending know who will be attending today. We also know who will not be attending, at least some of them. Some people actually hit the decline button and then gave an excuse why they could not make it. Most said, the meeting was either too far away, or that it was happening too early in the morning.

As I reviewed the list of declines, I could not help but notice that the people not coming, are the very people that vociferously complain about the state of the organization. I found it interesting to note that, when given the opportunity to raise their voice in a positive and constructive way, they found the time and location to be inconvenient for them.

Focus On What Is Working

I realize that there are many challenges in today's business environment. It is difficult to keep a job right now, let alone find one. For this reason, I am surprised that more people are not attending today. Those that complain must think that the organization and its leaders have all the answers and that they are deliberately making things rough on everybody else. 

There are actually very few answers right now. Things are changing so rapidly. One day, it feels like recovery. The next day, it feels like things are slipping backward again. Everyday, there are things that are working, and that is where I think our focus should be.

I am thankful that today's meeting will not focus on the problems. Instead, our focus will be on identifying what is working, and then discovering how we can do more of that. These are the meetings that bring energy. This is how we get to the core strengths of the organization and the individuals involved. This is how we learn to connect those strengths and then extend them outward into the world.

We Go Where We Look

The most amazing thing happens to companies who take this approach. They actually create better results. Because they are focused on the positive and doing something to create more of it, they actually do create more positive experiences. Because their people are invited to be involved, they actually feel more engaged and valued by the organization.

Problems don't disappear, they just become less noticeable because the energy of the organization is focused on doing more of what is working. That leaves less time to spend on the problems. The things that are working actually become focused in the problem areas and, lo and behold, the problems resolve. It is a magical approach, and it works.

Which direction is your organization heading?

Are you focused on the problems or the things that are working?

What can you today to bring your strengths in focus?

You will move in the direction you are looking. The classic problem solving methodology taught in most business schools is designed to continually search for problems. Consequently, those who employ it find more and more problems. The funny thing is, finding those problems, rarely leads to the kind of success that the organizations that focus on what is working enjoy. 

It's your choice. Where are you going to look?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

At first, I laughed, but pretty soon I started believing them and then I changed my dream. I didn't think much about it at the time, but now, I can look around and see many friends and acquaintances who are teachers, and they seem to be able to support their families without any problems. 

This evidence reminds me that life is an experience that we create. We are actually free to be whoever we want to be. It is true our choices, and the resulting consequences point us down various paths, but we are free to make new choices every day. Each choice we make, becomes a defining moment. It either propels us forward, or sinks us backward. 

Defining You

One of the most powerful questions we can ever ask ourselves is the question, “Who am I?” Thinking of our many unique qualities as we answer provokes individual awareness in a way few other questions can.

Because of the complexity of the question, many fail to gain the clarity of thought needed to really answer it. Yet this is a question that must be answered if we are to reach for our ultimate success, even our true potential. 

For many, the answer to this question is a synopsis of what they do. This answer, by itself, can never inspire. While it is true that what we do is a part of who we are, the real answer is much deeper than that. I have long looked for a formula that clearly states the components of identity. It is a work in progress, so I share it with you with an invitation to add your thoughts. 

Here goes:

Our Identity is eternal. It has always been there, and it always will be there. For some reason, the birthing experience into this world, creates a cloud over this identity. One of the purposes of this life is to rediscover our identity through the choices placed before us. The task of discovering it, is influenced by our achievements and our failures, but not determined by them. In fact, the more we focus on these two items the more we actually mask our true identity. In order to see things as they really are, we must be willing to put things in order. This requires us to find a sense of harmony between what we do, and who we are. 

Our whole, is made up of the relationships we create, the talents we develop, the energy we generate, and the connection we make with the spiritual nature of our being. Until we learn how to bring these four areas into balance, we will be incapable of understanding the awesome nature of our true identity because it will remain in an immature state. 

When we focus too much energy in any one of the four areas, we move away from what is real and create an illusion of fulfillment. This illusion provides a counterfeit moment that temporarily satisfies our desire to know who we are, but if we continue in that direction our satisfaction wanes and we find ourselves searching again. When these moments disappear we are left in a lost state and must start all over. Authentic awareness only comes when we have balance in the four areas. Nothing else satisfies. 

Who Do You Want To Be?

I was asked to play the role of the Landlord, which is the dark role representing the influence of Satan. I didn't want to do it at first, because I couldn't really imagine myself playing a dark role. My life is focused on seeking the light, so I didn't want to let any darkness into my character. I struggled with the thought of allowing myself to authentically play the role without gaining a new level of understanding of the real darkness that often influences the world in which we live. I didn't want to act out the confusion and hate that I knew would be directed toward One that I love.

I loved the music that I would be singing, so I agreed to do the part. I struggled with getting into character. I just couldn't let myself portray the darkness that was required to make it real. Two days before opening night, I was still refusing to go the distance. Suddenly, a burst of light entered my mind as I was running. I saw an image of the impact of the show if I did not do justice to the part. I realized that if I did not allow myself to get into character, the people watching would not recognize or feel how darkness really feels. They would see it as humorous instead of dangerous. Then, I knew that it was OK for me to let it all out. In that moment, I gave myself permission to portray this evil in such a way that those watching would feel its reality. From that point on, the fear of becoming lost in the darkness departed from my soul.

The show was a success, and many people commented that I was an incredible "bad guy" and that they were sure glad to know that I was on the good side. Many said that I made them feel uncomfortable, and that I successfully captured the darkness of evil. It took a lot energy to get to that point. I was thankful to authentically play that role, but even more thankful that it was behind me.

My Amazing Dreamcoat Experience

My efforts in The Garden, opened the door for an amazing community theater experience. Shortly after, I was cast in the title role of Joseph, in Andrew Lloyd Weber's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

This role seemed much more comfortable for me. I identified with the role and felt like it was a role that I was born to play. I loved the experience and enjoyed singing and dancing in my very own amazing technicolor dreamcoat. It was great to play a light bearing role. 

I had no problem getting into character. The biggest challenge was preparing to be onstage in nothing more than a loin cloth. I was exercising a lot and eating very little. This time, it took very little emotional energy, but every ounce of physical energy that I had to prepare for the part. 

The happiness and disappointment I felt in the show were easy to portray because they reflected many similar experiences that I had faced in my own life. The show was a success. When it was all over, the people spoke of how much they enjoyed my energy and how comfortable I looked on stage. At the end of each rehearsal and show, I felt energetic and ready for more. I truly felt like I was in my element.

The Next Level

Before my run as Joseph was over, I was approached by a new director with a request to play the role of Jesus in the musical production of Godspell. I enjoyed breathing life into the directors dream, but I kindly declined the request.

The director wouldn't take no for an answer. I gave him all my excuses – I believed Godspell was a sacrilegious experience, I didn't want to be involved in something that would make a mockery of the teachings of Jesus, I thought the show was goofy, and I didn't have time. He patiently broke through all of those excuses, which left me with only one – I really didn't think that I could authentically play the role of Jesus. I didn't even know how to approach it – I felt like a hypocrite even trying. He assured me that I could do it, and I eventually listened to the music and decided to play the role.

Interestingly enough, my permission to play this light role came in a similar way that the permission came to play the dark role. I was out running and contemplating the possibility. I just didn't feel like I could do it. I knew there would be people who would say, "who does he think he is?" I knew that I would need to raise myself to a new standard of living and take one more step toward perfection. I worried that I would somehow fail. Suddenly, I heard a voice saying, "Andrew, this your opportunity to prepare the way for me. You don't have to be like me, or carry my weight – I will do it for you. I will breathe the life into you, that will you need to represent me." The message was beautiful and freed me to deeply embrace the role.  

Our show opened last week, and we are now entering the second week of our three week run. I can't adequately describe the experiences that I have had and the emotions I have felt as I have prepared for this role. In the daytime, I still do not feel capable of playing this role, but something happens when we open the show. I am able to raise myself to a new level.

The experience is draining, At the end of each show, I am totally spent. The person who betrays me is someone that I really love, and I feel the emotions over and over again of being betrayed by someone I love. The people in the cast are people that I really love, and the experience of saying goodbye to them moves me to shed very real tears every time we play that scene. The desire to escape is just as real as my willingness to submit my will to the will of my Father. The pain of the crucifixion scenes are intense. Dying and being carried around by those who love me is surreal. Coming back to life and seeing the joy on the faces of loving disciples is exquisite. Words cannot describe the whole experience. I wish you could witness and even see it through my eyes.

There are people who have seen me in all three productions and at the end of this show, they are saying that this is my finest hour. I feel what they mean. 

The Road To Redemption

I share this story with you, because it is not just my story, it is our story. I never thought last April, that over the course of the coming year I would play the roles of Satan, Joseph and Jesus. That is quite a progression. Thankfully I moved in ascending spirals and not in the dreaded downward spiral patterns. 

Naturally, we are all captivated by the energy of this world. The world tells us that we can float without purpose, that we can do whatever feels good, and that there will be no lasting consequences. The world is wrong. 

We must be anxiously engaged in making forward progress. There are things we do today, that seem ok, but tomorrow we will realize that they cause us pain. We must learn how to move forward and leave them behind. That journey is made more difficult, even impossible, when we attempt to do it by ourselves. We need to follow the One who advocates so lovingly for our redemption. The dark ways of the world, no matter how enticing, can only lead us to the cruel cul-de-sacs sin and despair. 

Where are you at in your journey toward the light?

Are you making progress?

What is your next step?

I am thankful for the spiritual intelligence that I posses and the impact that it has in my life. I invite you to develop your own. I love you for who you are and I look forward to watching you grow. As one who has studied and portrayed both light and darkness, please accept my findings. The dark paths of the world bring fear, confusion, worry, despair, frustrations, feelings that we are not good enough and hate. The paths of light bring us peace, understanding, acceptance, happiness, goodness and love. Where do you stand?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Battle Bots

Sometimes I run into people who enjoy it even more than I do. I do my best to avoid taking the bait, but unfortunately, there are times when I feel like being the one to teach them a lesson with their own medicine. This never turns out well, even if I win the argument.

I have noticed that there are some people who enjoy engaging in smack down arguments through their social media networks. I find this behavior to be quite fascinating, even though I don't understand it. To me, the shield of the social network, makes it difficult for trust to be established. It also makes it easy for people to behave in an irresponsible and immature way. A heated discussion, or an argument conducted under these terms is unable to yield a productive outcome.

Rules of Engagement

I don't really understand the rules of engagement for this whole social media experience and arguments are not the only thing about it that confuse me. I also frequently receive some pretty silly and even some pretty intimate requests from people who I barely know at all.

Mafia Wars and Farmville requests come to me from all corners of the world. I don't know what to do with that. Connecting with people in this way seems kind of strange to me. 

Some people in my network want to network, some don't. Some want to promote, some don't. Some claim they are in it to build connections, but do little to build connections. Does anybody really understand it? I know I don't.

Fan Pages Become Like Pages

I don't even think Facebook understands it. They recognize that they have a hold of something big, but their constant tweaking suggests that they are still figuring things out. Take the announcement they made today that they will soon be eliminating Fan Pages in favor of the term like. They said people are resistant to proclaiming themselves fans, but willing to state that they like something. What?

I guess the argument I am making here is that social medial holds a lot of promise, but so far, nobody understands it.. Just today, I posted a comment in a LinkedIn group, of which I am a founding member, and I was told, don't post things about yourself here. Huh? What the heck is a social networking group worth if we can't post information to it that introduces, exposes and promotes our efforts. Anything short of that is just a time wasting activity that allows me to hide behind the screen and pretend to be somebody I am not. 

What Say Ye?

They say that social media will change our lives, but I am waiting to see how. Will it become a productive tool, or just a way to waste time? I know some are making it work and that is what encourages me to continue with this experiment.

How is social media changing your life?

What successes are you seeing from it?

How do you build trust with those new to your social network?

Relationships are important to me. I am willing to continue investing in my social media network. If you are reading and we are not connected, then please send me an invite.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Do you think social media will ever live up to its pro

My natural preference is to be involved in intimate one-on-one or small group meetings. I enjoy those moments. They help me make stronger connections and develop greater amounts of trust. 

Networking Know How

Today, I will spend some time at a networking meeting. I struggle in these settings. I often find it very difficult to walk over and introduce myself to people I don't know. To me, no matter how sincere I feel, these moments feel like insincere moments. I love to feel authentic.

I am thinking a lot about the challenge I face in working the room. I want to overcome it. It seems like the more I tell myself that I do not enjoy these types of events, the less I enjoy them. I know there is more to it than telling myself to enjoy it, so I have been examining my thoughts and feelings.

Leaning In To The Discomfort

These are uncomfortable moments for me, but why should they be. I am strongly connected with my purpose and values. It should be easy for me to introduce myself and to meet people, but for some reason, I struggle.

I am reminded of a phrase my dad always said, "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." Caring about others is how connections are made. I demonstrate caring by listening to others and the introduction is something that requires me to talk rather than listen. My need to hear and connect with others, overrides my need to introduce myself.

Today, I am going to quickly introduce myself and then move into the mode of listener. People like to tell their own story, so I am going to make mine brief and then ask connecting questions. There are stories in the room that I want to hear. The only way I can discover them is to ask the questions.

When I look at the conversations I will have in this light, I feel energized. My uncomfortable feelings disappear and I begin to see how valuable these experiences can be.

Reframing The Pain

Your challenges may be different than mine, and may have nothing to do with networking, but I am sure you can overcome them. Usually, we just need to ask ourselves new and powerful questions. Questioning "why" is often the least effective way of doing this, i.e. "why do I struggle in open networking situations?" When I ask the question this way, I find it difficult to think of anything other than the pain that I feel.

It is much more powerful to ask, "what can I do to feel better in these situations?" Once I ask that question, I begin to unleash my true potential.

What challenges are you facing right now?

What can you do to feel better about those situations?

How can you reframe the circumstances to better utilize your strengths?

There is no escaping the uncomfortable and undesirable things we have to do each day. The only way out, is to create a new way of looking at things. Can you see it?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I am out of my normal flow, and missing some of the essential daily activities that breathe life into my world. I can feel the impact and it is beginning to wear me down. Even though there are many rewards associated with this particular project, I am feeling out of sync. I am beginning to feel the challenges associated with this situation, and that sense is awakening my resolve to put things back in order. I am grateful for the wake-up call. 

Time To Adjust

Life, is famous for bringing us face to face with the demands of change. Our positive and negative experiences create constant shifts making it difficult to define what is and is not normal. As soon as we think we have a routine figured out, change appears. 

Somewhere along my path, I learned to face change with a positive attitude. That doesn't mean I don't feel its negative impact, it simply means that I learned how to quickly readjust and put things back in balance. 

In the moments when I found myself feeling "burnt out" I discovered that if I allowed myself to give in, and to let down,the feeling became even worse. I learned that I had a to make a quick adjustment. I had to do something that would interrupt my momentary descent and put me back into those ascending spirals that I enjoy so much.

It had to be something different than the normal pauses I take to refresh myself. I needed something that I could use when a major adjustment was needed. Something that would shake me out of the hold of the event that was fixating my focus, and allow me to move my life back into harmony.

Regeneration

Sometimes, we think that we need a vacation, or a major break from life to rejuvenate and regenerate our energy. I don't see it that way. In fact, I think our breaks and vacations are much more enjoyable when we are feeling healthy and happy, then they are when we are feeling run down.

Renewal can be created through very simple acts. We just need to escape from the insanity for a few moments. I like to get in the car and drive on some of the quiet roads in my area. Sometimes I even go off road and into the beautiful and desolate desert. I don't have to drive very long. I just need to get away for a few moments. 

These lonely treks remind me of what is important. They don't change my circumstances or challenges, they just give me the chance to put things back into perspective. I return with a new ability to spread my focus so that I can stay healthy and alive with passion.

Are you able to identify the signs of "burn out" before it is too late?

Do you know how to regenerate your energy?

What is your strategy?

We cannot avoid the positive or negative energy drains of life. All we can really do is create moments of escape that allow us to get back on track. I am going our for a ride

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, imagine the power of a video.

Today I invite you to know me better by seeing me in action. This is The Authentic Me.

Enjoy!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I am doing my best to stay tuned in, but I am finding it very difficult to see the positive and appreciative approach that I would like to see. It seems that no matter which way you slice it, this debate on heath care is destined to be a win-lose or a lose-lose situation. There is talk about a win-win, but it is all talk. Nobody from any of the camps is truly acting that way.

Social Justice

There is a term being thrown around right now, and quite honestly, I don't understand it. Nevertheless, I am going to do my best to explain from my own frame of reference what it means to me. I am specifically going to tie it into what is going on in my life right now. The term to which I refer is "Social Justice".

If you are a regular reader, then you are aware that I am in the middle of performing the role of Jesus in Steven Schwartz' musical production Godspell. I am finding this to be a very challenging role for many different reasons, the greatest of which is teaching the beautiful teachings of Jesus and facing the truth about my own inability to follow them. I find it especially difficult to deliver the lines about bothering with a speck in the other's eye when I have a great big plank in my own. The words are convicting me to a better life, but right now, the gap is great.

The Sheep and The Goats

One of His stories that I share, references what it will be like when He returns. He states that he will divide the people into two groups, in much the same way that a shepherd divides the sheep from the goats. The sheep represent those who kept and obeyed His teachings and the goats represent those who did not.

I am sure His followers, wanting to be sheep, wondered how they would know which side they were on. So he said to them:

"When I was hungry, you gave me food. When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was naked and with out a home, you took me to your house and clothed me in your clothes. When I was sick and in prison, you came and gave me aid." 

Then they asked him, "when did we do all of this", and that is when he taught them the real lesson. He said:

"Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me."

He then taught that the goats would not feed the hungry, quench the thirst of those who thirsted, clothe and house the naked and homeless, or give aid to the sick or the jailed. He said that when we did not do these things for those in need, then we could not, and did not do them for Him.

Meeting The Need

Whether you follow the teachings of Jesus or not, these words are powerful. Their meaning applies in all religions, in all faiths, and in all walks of life.

Those who gave assistance did it because they willingly wanted to contribute to the greater good. They were not forced or compelled to do so. They simply had a desire to lift another. They understood that because they were given much, they too must give. They did not wait for the government to tax them or to force them to do it, they exercised their moral agency to comfort the weary and to strengthen the weak.

Those who are forced into contributing to the greater good never do it with pure intent. In fact, they are the ones who go about trying to find the loopholes and the outs. They sit around saying things like, I was given nothing, why should I give to others. They believe that their successes are strictly the result of their own personal brilliance and have nothing to do with good fortune or circumstances. In a sense, they are their own god, believing that they have the "secret" of wealth and that those who do not are lazy and unintelligent.

Sometimes, this same crowd is responsible for creating the laws that would force others to contribute to the greater good. They think that if they make everyone do it, their contribution will somehow be the fact that they got everyone to go in on it. They continually go about placing heavy burdens on the backs of others without ever lifting the load themselves. They see themselves as being above the law and not subject to it.

Where Do You Stand?

I am aligned with the belief that we must be constantly looking for ways in which we can lift the load of others. In fact, I believe that one of the greatest things we can ever do is to lift somebody to a new level. It is much more meaningful than lifting ourselves to a new level.

But we must not be ordered or commanded to do these things, because when we are, we lose the joy that comes from giving. It is wasted away by the burden we feel by being forced to do it.

We must decide to become anxiously engaged in good causes, and to do many good things from our own free will. For that is how we truly demonstrate which side we are on.

When was the last time you volunteered to help someone in need?

If you saw someone who was out of gas on the side of the road, would you stop and help or just pass by?

Are you willing to look around today and meet the needs that only you can meet?

If we were all willing to do these things, then we would not need our government to tell us how to do it. I admit that something must be done, but I would rather choose to be a part of the solution, then to be told that I am the problem. Where do you stand?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

We are capable of becoming so much more than we generally allow ourselves to become. The words "I can't" inhibit our ability to grow. My friend Joey Cordano's father always said "the Can'ts live across the street". He never wanted us to say it, no matter what the circumstances were. This statement fostered a resolve in me to figure things out.

I Presently Struggle With

A couple of years ago, I started a video workout series called P90x. It is very challenging, even though it is based on some of the most fundamental exercises. In essence, it is a push-up, pull-up and sit-up conglomeration. 

I remember the difficulty I faced when I attempted my first set of pull-ups. I was physically unable to do even one, without some form of assistance. It was discouraging to watch the people on the video do 15 to 20 with what looked like very little effort. I wanted to give up, but Tony Horton, the host of the series exhorted me to continue. In one scene he stares into the camera and says, "quit telling yourself you can't do this. Change your language and say, 'I presently struggle with', and you will be surprised to see what happens."

I believed him and I stuck with it. 45 days later, I was only able to do three pull-ups without being assisted, but then something magical happened. Not only did I develop strength, but I also developed understanding. It was like a light went on one day, and I found myself no longer struggling with pull-ups. Because I understood how to do them, I often did them effortlessly and almost always pushed my self to do more than my previous best.

Persistance Produces Power

I majored in English in my undergrad days and became a fan of the great Ralph Waldo Emerson. The resolve I employed to become "pull-up boy" reminded me of one of my favorite Emerson quotes. He said:

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.

Can you see the wisdom in that quote. You and I will always be faced with difficult challenges. We can choose to say "I can't", or we can do our best, and forget the rest. For some reason, most of us naturally seek the path of least resistance. That path never leads us to our best. Instead, it robs us of our true potential. There are no short cuts to greatness. We must willing to do that which challenges us and stretches us. 

What are you presently struggling with?

Do you know what success in that area looks like?

Are you willing to stick with it until you master the flow of success?

"I can". Two simple words that make all the difference in our lives. They don't just make a difference in what we accomplish, they also make a difference in how we feel when we are challenged and who we eventually become. The "Can'ts" live across the street from me. Which side of the street do you live on?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I began writing in my first journal when I was 13 years old. Over the past thirty years, I have filled several volumes. During that time, my writing habits have become more and more regular. It is fun to look back and to see the consistencies and inconsistencies. Sometimes, I wrote every day for three months and then saw a three month gap in between my next entry. Sometimes, a whole year even passed between entries.  

Breaking The Pattern

This year, I made a commitment to myself, that I would write every day. There have been days when I was very tired, but I always managed to write a few sentences, if not a whole page, about my thoughts and feelings. That is until this past Saturday. At the end of that day, I found myself incredibly tired. I had no energy or desire to lift the pen, so I broke my commitment to myself and went to bed without writing.

In a moment my streak was interrupted. When I woke up Sunday morning I was kind of upset that I had allowed this to happen, but as the day went on, I discovered myself feeling tired again and telling myself that it would be ok to skip another day. At the end of the day, I had to force myself to add an entry.

Quitting Is Easy 

As I wrote, I contemplated how easy it is to quit something. We can miss one day and be done. I then contrasted that with how hard it is to start something. There are always aches and pains that come in the beginning. It takes a while to build up the strength to tolerate the new stresses and challenges that come with it. The short term pain eventually gives way to the long term benefits, but that is hard to see.

There is no short term pain in quitting. In fact, it often feels good to get away and rest from our consistent struggles. It is the long term pain that can haunt us, because it comes upon us when we are unable to do anything about it. The lack of short term pain often lulls us into believing that we can pick things back up on some other day, but that usually never happens. Instead, many find themselves wishing they could turn the clock back and start again.

Today Is Your Day!

I am reminded again of something my dad regularly said to me. It inspires me to live my life in alignment with my values. Value centered living is never easy, but it yields the greatest joy in life. 

I know these are not his original words, and there are many who claim to have said it first. But I heard if first from him, so I am attributing it to him. here is what he said:

Yesterday, is a cancelled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the only cash you have, spend it wisely.

That quote reminds me to live and love today. It reminds me that I must make sure that I am exchanging the value of this day for something more valuable. Because every day could be my last, I like to make sure that I am living each day on purpose. That doesn't mean that I can live without care or concern. It means that I must have extra care and concern.

This thought has made a major difference in my journal writing experiences. It motivates me to write about what I am feeling instead of what I am doing. It helps me take the time to see what I thought about the day and how it impacted my life instead of just capturing a diary of my schedule. That is what makes it meaningful to me, and will make it meaningful to my posterity. I am glad I got back on track quickly.

How are you spending your time?

Is that aligned with what you value?

What must you do today to grow?

Don't wait for tomorrow. It may never come. Go ahead and tell those you love that you love them today. Make sure you get full value for the time you invest. Step up and into your legacy.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

Rule # 1 For Making A Miracle

Rule # 1 is actually very simple: You can not make a miracle for yourself. Your efforts as a miracle worker must be focused on the needs of somebody else. In order to do this, you must be willing to listen to others. That is the only way you can discover their needs, which will help you know what you can do to make the miracle happen. 

Fortunately, this is really not that hard to do. People like to talk, and when we listen to them, we can easily discern what they are not saying when they are saying something. The dislikes that they register almost always reflect what they like or need. Miracle workers hear the negative and focus on the positive efforts that they can contribute to meet the need.

Do You Care Enough To Listen?

There are people around you who are troubled by the very real needs they must meet. They truly do not have the answer. To you, their challenge may seem trivial and very simple to solve. That is why your efforts will be deemer miraculous. You can choose to see it and do something about it, or you can turn away and focus on your own puzzles.

The most amazing thing is that your involvement will probably not cost you anything. It will simply be an opportunity for you to share your strengths – those things that come naturally for you. Considering how much we all love to use our strengths, I am surprised that this does not happen more often.

Here is where the paradigm shift needs to occur. Most of us have been taught that we must use our strengths to promote our own agenda and needs. To be a miracle worker you must be willing to promote the agenda of someone else. You must be willing to set aside your own need and meet the need of the other.

Be The Miracle!

Take a moment consider what the impact would be on the world if we all became miracle workers. There is no request here to give from your lack, I am simply inviting you to give from your abundance.

How would it make you feel to be a miracle worker?

Would you see the world differently?

What impact would it have on your personal energy?

I dare you to be a miracle worker today. Just listen and hear what someone else needs. Allow your personal creativity to color your thoughts and desires. We need you. I promise you, that when you turn the key, the engine will turn on. Go ahead, make someone else's day.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

This question, caused me to wonder about the formula for being and several questions began to enter my mind. What does it mean to be? What is the role of doing in that formula? How are doing and being related? Is there any relation at all?

It didn't take me long to realize that it is possible to do, without being, but I do not believe that it is possible to become, or to be, without doing something. Are you with me on that?

Permission To Soar In Ascending Spirals

This is actually a conversation that I have had with myself many times and it represents the vision of my work. I believe that achievement, the result of our doing, by itself is worth very little. If we spend our life achieving and doing, we will never be filled. We will simply move from one quest to another without ever gaining any sense of satisfaction. That said, we can't just throw away any and all forms of doing in pursuit to be. In all reality, we must be anxiously engaged in many good causes.

Buddha taught this lesson beautifully. He began his journey to enlightenment by sitting under a Bodhi tree. He believed that if he denied himself all his privileges and desires and sat under that tree suffering all manners of affliction, he would soon suffer his way to an enlightened state of being. It didn't take him long to discover that that was not the way. He realized that the true path required both active (doing) and passive (being) activities.

The journey to being begins with a careful clarification of what it is that we value. Our values, must then influence our dreams and aspirations. Our dreams and aspirations, must then guide the things we do. Aligning all that we do, with what we wish to become puts us in a state of balance and we are then free to soar in ascending spirals. This is important, WE GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO DO THAT!

Living The Commitments That Accelerate Growth

What we do, determines our ability to grow and to be. Paul, taught us this lesson in a letter he wrote to the early Christian community that was living in the Roman Province of Galatia. He warned them to be very careful about how they spent their time by saying, "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Hence, our version, you reap what you sow, was born.

If you really want to "BE" something, you must be willing to live the commitments that are associated with that quality or behavior. You can't smoke and be a "non-smoker". It takes effort to be, and that effort translates into doing. Do you see the natural connection?

Arya was asking about the relationship between doing and being, but I believe he was also asking about the place of rest and meditation. Is it necessary to be doing something all the time? The answer of course is yes, but you are the one responsible for choosing your activity. 

My perfect day includes a lot of time to meditate, pray, study, and ponder. I like to be alone in my thoughts. It is how I reinvent myself. It is how I recharge my batteries. When I give those activities up for the pursuit of others, I find myself out of balance. These are the things that I am willing to commit to, and they work for me. You may find your energy in totally different places doing totally different activities. The key is deciding what commitments we are willing to make and then sticking with them. 

This, is where the balanced feeling of being comes from. When our dreams are aligned with our commitments, we create harmony. Life begins to feel like, and appear as if, we are running on auto-pilot. Growth is accelerated, and we are ready to become.

Standing Whole and Ready To Lead With Purpose

But alignment is not enough. Your light, the essence of your being, will never reach its full potential until you learn to shine brightly. It is only when we learn to radiate the vision of who we are to the world, that we begin to lead with purpose.

Leadership – that is the purpose of becoming. The greatest work we will ever do is to lift another to a new level. It is the most fulfilling and satisfying experience. It is the essence of being. When we become our best, we see for the first time that there is room for everyone to be their best.

Arriving at this gateway to enlightenment strips us of all forms of toxic competition. We learn to cheer others on without any worry that they will somehow surpass us. We are inspired by their efforts. We feel a desire to be better for our own account, because we see that there is so much potential that is yet to be realized. We see so very clearly that we are all connected and that we are all one. 

Life moves fluidly. The doing that we do appears to happen without any effort. From the outside to the inside, we are filled with peace. We know who we are and we are being that person. The struggle to do, is no longer found within us. We simply live on purpose and we lead that way too.

Have you identified your aspirations? 

Are you willing to live the commitments that are necessary for their realization?

What are you doing with your light? Are you willing to shine brightly?

I don't have all the answers, but I know that I am anxiously engaged in becoming my best. I understand where balance comes from and what it takes to get it. I want you to create harmony in your own life and leadership responsibilities because I know it will bring you great joy. Please do me a favor today. Take a moment to write down what you value most in life. Then examine how you are spending your time. Then take a step, no matter how small toward balancing the ledger. You are now free to move about the cabin!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548