I am always looking for ways to develop my individual talents, so when a friend offered me the role of Jesus in the musical production of Godspell, I knew I had to consider it. At first I was very hesitant to accept the part, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to see how it could help me in so many different ways.
Let me be clear, my experience as an actor is very limited and I wondered if I could really do this in a credible and authentic manner. But that was not the real issue. What worried me the most was the thought of playing the part of Jesus. For the first time in a long time, I feel like there is no way I can measure up.
Just Be You
I expressed these thoughts to my director and friend Eddie Peterson. He took the time to understand my concerns and then said, "Andrew, I cast you in this role because I know you can do this. I don't want you to be any different than you are in real life. I just want you to be you."
I must admit that this was a very reassuring thought. It gave me the confidence to accept the role and to move forward. As we progress through the rehearsal process, Eddie has had to remind me of this conversation more than once, but now I feel like I am becoming more and more comfortable in the role.
What Was I Afraid Of?
My biggest fear was that somebody would look at me and say, "That is Andrew Thorn up there. Does he really think he is Jesus?" Or, "That is Andrew Thorn up there playing Jesus. I saw him just the other day behaving this way. Why did they cast him?"
I overcame this fear by realizing that all I really need to do is be my best and forget the rest. I can never be perfect in this role, but I can be me. Fortunately, that is something that I am comfortable being. I know that I am capable of putting the real me behind this role and that will lead to a successful run for the show.
The Authentic Me
Sometimes, I run into people who express themselves differently depending on the setting. They believe so much in situational ethics that they really think they can be one person in their business dealings and another in their personal life. I don't believe this is possible and I think behaving this way is the primary cause of feeling burned out and out of balance.
Happiness comes from learning how to live consistently with our values and principles. Thankfully, we each are responsible for picking our own values. I have known people who live much differently than I do. Their values seem to be polar opposite, but because they are committed to living them, and consistent in doing so, they live a happy life.
Discontent comes from pretending to be something or somebody that we are not. When we have different acts for different situations, we are incapable of feeling aligned. Our inconsistent behavior creates an inner turmoil and eventually an identity crisis.
There is nothing worse than running into somebody we know from one situation while we are involved in another and having them say, "I can't believe this is you – are you for real?"
Aligning Moments
Aligning with consistent values and principles is really much easier than we allow ourselves to believe. All it really takes is our willingness to define who we are and who we want to be. Ask yourself the following questions:
Who am I?
What values and principles are important to me?
How can I be the real me at all times and in all places?
The answers to these questions may scare you a bit at first. I want you to know that living in a consistent manner creates a harmony and balance that is difficult to describe. There is no pretending required and others recognize the difference and learn to accept us for and in spite of our beliefs and values. They feel fortunate to know someone who is so committed to being authentic and they never have to ask – "are you for real?"
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