The Flow of Energy

One particular scene captured my attention. The Kung Fu Kid had spent a lot of time learning to pick up his jacket, put it on, take it off, and hang it up. He did this until he was tired and could no longer see the point in doing it any longer. It was then, that his wise teacher explained to him the purpose of his actions.

The scene demonstrated how the movements of the jacket exercise were actually movements that could be used in practicing the art of Kung Fu. The master explained that everything is Kung Fu and that it lives in everything we do. 

He then told his student to "remember".

What Lives In You?

I am not a practitioner of Kung Fu, but I recognized the importance of having a system that keeps us connected to what matters most. There will always be times when we feel like we have had enough and that we no longer wish to continue.

The system we choose, keeps us connected to a higher purpose and, when we remember its values, it prevents us from burning out. 

Life happens at a breakneck pace. The space between getting up and laying down often seems like an extension of the dreams we have when we are asleep. To stay connected we must remember who we are. Everything we do, must be connected to that system or we will forget the importance of the system in our lives. 

To Remember

What does it mean to remember? To some, it feels like a passive activity, but it is definitely one of the most active things we can do. It is the activity that keeps our system at the top of our mind. 

I am amazed at how often the words "keep" and "remember" are mentioned together. They denote similar thoughts. They both require us to hold on to important learnings from our past. They symbolize the good things that we must embrace. 

I do not think we can live a satisfying life if we fail to connect to something of value. For me, it is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It flows through everything I do, and everything that I am. I find that whenever I become casual in the observance of this system, I feel far away from the real me. and I find it difficult to sustain a life of energy.

When I return to its practice, I feel energized. I feel much more capable of loving myself and of loving others with all of my heart, might, mind and strength. Life, during those moments, is good.

What flows through you?

What system do you embrace as being connected to everything?

How do you make sure you stay connected to it?

My invitation to you today is for you to reconnect to your system. It is imperative for you to ensure that it is flowing through you. It works the same for all of us. To feel energized, you must remember the source of your energy. You can't start, until you remember. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I told him that I was happily married and that I was not interested. This was hard for him to understand, so he persisted and asked me if I wanted to know who it was. I said "no" and then, I politely asked him to tell the woman that I was committed to my wife, and that I was not interested in breaking that commitment.

Faithful and True

I really didn't give this opportunity much thought, partly because I have a great wife, and partly because I made a vow to be faithful to her and I intend to keep it. 

Many of us start out with this vow, but our resolve often weakens as time passes. As a society, we are constantly bombarded with sexual images, which in turn, stimulate our sexual desire. We can find a sexual innuendo in almost every setting. Is it any wonder that so many of us fall to our natural instincts?

Sadly, those who maintain a standard of infidelity rarely find the happiness they seek. They eventually discover that variety does not equal fulfillment. In fact, they discover that the more they try to please their sexual desires with others, the more they need to keep trying to please it. This is because it is a desire that can never be fulfilled by simply doing the act. Our minds, as soon as we do it, begin to tell us that we need to do it again, and again and again. 

In my work, I often speak with those who have suffered the pain of either being unfaithful, or of being with an unfaithful spouse. They are amazing witnesses of the fact that the momentary pleasure that comes from having sex is never worth the lasting pain that comes from breaking the trust of a spouse.

Restoring Trust

We live in a confusing time. On the one hand, we expect fidelity in our relationships, but on the other hand we feel pulled by the message of "nobody will know". 

Perhaps you find yourself as either a purveyor of, or a victim of infidelity. You may be desperately wanting to trust or to restore trust, but you are wondering if you can ever do that again. I have vicariously felt this challenge through the missteps of friends and family. I know it is a difficult thing, but it can be done. How? That is the question many face.

I will be honest, it is not an easy path to follow. It will require you to learn something about forgiveness. Whether you did it, or had it done to you, you are going to learn how to forgive, and the first person you must forgive is yourself. I know that sounds odd if you are the victim of infidelity, but it truly is where it starts. Once you have forgiven yourself, you are then capable of forgiving others.

The next step is to re-establish your commitment to each other. You will be tested again, so it is important that you speak with each other and agree on how you will behave when the time of testing returns. Clear and open communication will prevent you from moving forward. 

Communication Is The Key

As soon as I arrived home, I told Stacy about the invitation I had on the way to the airport. I told her that I rejected the offer, and that I wanted her to be aware of the offer so we could talk about any and all future offers. Neither one of us wanted me to behave in an unfaithful way so we worked together to make sure I did not. Because I was honest with her about the invitation, and the momentary desire to accept that came with the invitation, the trust between us grew. We know we are both human and we know these types of opportunities require us to work together. We cannot face these challenges secretly, we must bring them out in the open as soon as possible. Communication is the key to finding the way out.

If you find yourself on one side of this chasm then it is time to make a choice. You must decide if you want to stay and love, or leave and love. Any other choice will only bring more sadness and despair to your life. You cannot stay and hate or leave and hate and live a happy life. Love is the only way you can begin to open the fonts of healing. It is what makes communicating through this problem possible.

You are not required to stay, but you are required to love. If you are wondering what to do, perhaps these questions will help:

What do I really want to happen?

Can I forgive myself and my spouse?

What can I do to make things better?

I should be perfectly clear that if you are a victim of infidelity, you have a right to be angry and a right to move on. I am not advocating for you to stay. I simply want you to see that if you are moving on, you will be best served if you move on with love in your heart. Love will accelerate the healing process. When I say love, I am not speaking of a romantic love, I am speaking of the love that comes for another when we recognize that they are a human being. Any other approach will leave you feeling the sting and licking your wounds for a very long time. The pain felt by both sides is real. The lack of trust is real. They can only be satisfied by love.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

I am suing for a couple of rule changes, and the right to be a professional baseball player. My inability to hit a fastball, or throw a wicked curveball has prevented me from making millions of dollars, and I don't think that is fair. I want, what Manny Ramirez has, an opportunity to provide for my family in the most comfortable way.

Change of Rule

I only want two rules changed. I doubt they will impact the game very much, but these changes will create more opportunities for individuals like me to make the team. 

First, I want all batters to be blind folded. This will eliminate the advantage of one pitcher's natural talent over the rest of us. Second, I want to eliminate foul territory and make everything inside the stadium fair ground. 

Like I said, I doubt these rules will change the game that much. Scoring is pretty low now as it is, so the blind folds will even out the "everything's fair"  rule change. I am certain, that if these rules were enforced, I could be a major leaguer.

This is 2010

Purists, will say that these rule changes will destroy the game. They should consider the fact that these rules will be a welcome update to a game that is now outdated and losing fans. This change will bring new fans the sport, while having very little impact on current fans. The game is old fashioned and we need to make it better. We should not accept the old rules, just because they have always been there. It is time to move this game into the 21st Century.

It's Not Fair

I have tried since I was a boy to be a major leaguer. My lack of talent has always prevented me from being signed by a team. It is not my fault that I was born this way. I have done everything I can to play by the rules but the rules, clearly favor individuals who were born with baseball skills. That is not fair.

Some individuals have had the nerve to suggest that I could still be involved in the sport, by working as a groundskeeper, a coach or manager, in the marketing department, as part of the administrative staff, or even as an executive. One person even told me that if I worked very hard, I might even be able to buy a team. I can't believe they would be so insensitive to suggest these options. 

My dream is to be a major league ball player. I am not interested in any of those other roles. I demand justice and justice must be served. It is not my fault that I was born without the talent to play the sport. I want to play. Why should the ones born with talent be the ones making the easy money. I want some of that too. 

For The Good of The Game

Traditionalists will argue that these rule amendments will change the institution of baseball, and that the sport will not survive if we allow this to happen.

What do they know? I say that more damage is being done to the game by the heroes in the game that we currently worship. They are the ones that have used steroids to increase their natural advantage. They are the ones that bet on the sport. They are the ones that only try their hardest in a contract year and then loaf the rest of the time. What impact does that have on the game? 

In the long run, I don't really care if it ruins the game, in fact, I think that if I am not allowed on the field than nobody else should be either. I want equal protection under the law to be able to realize my dream of being a super star baseball player. Nobody should be denying me that right.

Conditions are Ripe

I will file my suit in Los Angeles, because fan support of baseball is a bit apathetic in LA right now. I mean, 22 years have passed since we last won a championship. This is a Laker town and nobody cares about a losing baseball team with M.I.A. owners. My rule change would make all of the teams more evenly matched too, and we might get a championship here in our city. That would be good for everyone.

Some of the veteran and former baseball players are supporting my legal action. They say, that they made it on talent, and they still think it should be that way, but they often wonder why they were born with their talent and they feel a little guilty to have made so much money and fame because of something they came upon naturally. They think a guy like me should have a chance too, so they are on board. They won't change their mind on how important it is to have talent, but they want to support me.

Some of the current players are also with me. They say that they are bored with the game and that only the most talented make the most money. The can see how this will level the playing field and they want in on the action.

I've Made Up My Mind

I am certain that many people will think that I am ruining the game. That is why I am making this a legal matter. The courts are there to protect me against the majority mob. I have a dream to play baseball, and I think it is only fair that I get to fulfill that dream.

The problem is that most people do not even understand how our legal system works. They think the when the majority rules that's how it should be. Luckily our Founding Fathers were smarter than Major League Baseball. They knew that a talented majority could make it impossible for an untalented minority, thereby keeping us out of the game. That's why they created a system of checks and balances to avoid that situation. Those who would oppose this legal action are not only condemning our Founding Fathers, but are promoting "mob rule" as a way to dictate who or who does not get to be a superstar baseball player. Baseball is America's game, do they not comprehend how completely un-American that is?

You are free to join me on this action. You are also free to oppose me. That is what makes this country great. I am always amazed at how irrational disagreement can be. I am sure there will be many of you who send me hate mail, and even threaten me, but I don't care. I am willing to stand for my rights. I hope I get a judge who will help me hit a home run.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Piling On

Here is just a sample of what I am talking about. Yesterday, while I was working in Los Angeles, I got a flat tire. While fixing the tire, my son Jacob called to tell me that his car had overheated and that he was stuck on the side of the road. He was on his way to pick up our daughter Sarah, who had got sick at school and had waited in the medical office for two hours while the school tried to get a hold of us.

Jacob was worried about calling me because he had mistakenly backed into a friends car on Friday night and caused about $500.00 worth of damage with what he describes as a nudge. I laughed as I listened to his voice mail – "Dad, this is Jacob. There is something wrong with the car, and I did not run into anything."

When I finally got a hold of him, he asked a very interesting question. He said, "Dad, we are busy with some good things right now, why are we facing so many challenges too?"

Grin and Bear It

I was grateful for this teaching moment. I explained to Jacob that bad things happen to everybody, and that bad things never happen in a convenient moment. I then went a little deeper. I told him that our trials serve as defining moments. The way we respond to them defines the level of happiness we enjoy in our life.

You and I have at least two choices when we are faced with trials. We can hang our heads and ask, "why is this happening to me?" or, we can lift our heads, smile and say, "I can't wait to figure out the answer to this problem?"

Jacob wondered aloud, "our finances our tight right now as we prepare for Christina's wedding. I know we don't have any money to fix cars, how will we do it?" I was thankful to be able to say, "I don't know how we will do it, but I know we will. A way will open up. It always does."

Walking in Faith

The confidence I displayed as I spoke to Jacob was not contrived, nor was it discovered yesterday. It was built in the face of many different challenges. It was fostered by moving forward in the midst of uncertain circumstances. 

When we walk in faith, it appears to those who are watching that we are not afraid or worried about anything. That is a misperception. The fact is that fear and worry both reside inside a confident individual, we just don't allow them to be the dominating emotions. We acknowledge that they are there and that they won't help us move forward and so we leave them alone.

Murphy's Law, applies to everyone of us. Bad things happen. Nobody is free from that reality. The difference maker is simply the choices we make when we are confronted by our trials. We can choose to move forward, or we can choose to cry, "whoa is me".

What do you normally choose?

How do you motivate yourself to move forward?

Last night, Stacy and I sat and reflected on the events of the day. I played the various voice mail messages detailing the report of each challenge, and we laughed at the severity of the situations. We knew those messages spelled trouble – but we were somehow able to feel thankful that we would be able to survive them. Together, we took inventory of all of the things for which we feel gratitude. Amazingly, even our trials made that list. Sure, we would love to live life without them, but we realized that that, would be no life at all.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Ouch

Several years ago we purchased some land in the desert with hopes of one day building a new home for our family. The land included a very old and small home that was pretty dilapidated. Over the years, we have remodeled this home and we occasionally rent it out. 

The water pressure there is very light. To counter this problem, we installed a water tank and pump to increase the pressure. The home was vacant last winter and the pipes to the pump froze and cracked. We have a new tenant moving in this week and it finally became necessary to fix the leak.

To begin the project, I cut the pipes, moved the tank out of the water closet, and unbolted the pump motor from the top of the tank. I then got busy with some of the other preparations. In the midst of all the work, I needed to move the tank from where I had originally placed it. Without much thought, I began to push it out of the way. The motor, though unbolted, was still on top of the tank. When I moved the tank, the motor, which weighs about 50 pounds, fell and landed squarely on top of my left foot. 

I saw stars. I only thought that happened with a hit on the head, but I actually saw stars. The pain was incredible and I was certain that I had broken my foot. Fortunately, it only resulted in a large, purple and black bruise. 

It Hurts

I did a stupid thing. I unbolted a 50 pound motor and left it balancing on top of a water tank four feet off the ground. My foot paid the price and now I am limping around. The pain will be with me for a while and it hurts. Sometimes we let the pain be more significant than the lessons that come from the pain. This happens when we dwell on the stupid thing we did to cause the pain. 

When we experience pain, we have at least two choices. We can beat ourself up for being so stupid, or we can learn from the experience and resolve to be more careful in the future. I choose the latter. The pain serves as a reminder and as an inhibitor from doing more stupid things. In this sense I am grateful for the pain, and I see it as a learning experience.

Letting Go!

One of the essential components of pain is that it hurts. It wouldn't be pain if it didn't. Some, embrace their pain and hold on to it like it is the only thing they have. Others view it as a temporary inconvenience and move on as quickly as they can.

We must not hold on to our pain, that will only make it hurt worse. Instead, we must move on and carry on with our life. Moving forward minimizes the pain and puts us in position to learn from its source.

Are you holding on to your pain?

What will have to happen for you to let it go?

How long will you wait to do it?

Only two days have passed since I smashed my foot. I am amazed at how well it is doing. I am not focused on the pain. Instead, I am moving forward with my life. I must do things a little differently right now, but I am confident that very soon I will return to normal activities. My confidence comes from my ability to let go of the pain. I invite you to do the same.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Life Is Busy

We were a busy family and I know our friends and family members were busy too. Sometimes they would travel great distances just to be together for a couple of hours. To them, visiting was a priority.

Now, I often wonder how they found the time to visit so often. My life is full. Every moment seems scheduled and so I tell myself that I rarely have time to sit and visit. Lately, I have noticed, that no one else seems to have time to visit either. Our lives are consumed by the demands of work and life. 

We are blessed to live in a time that enjoys so many wonderful technological advancements. All of these tools of technology were designed to give us more time, yet they seem to suck the time away from us. Many of us now connect with our friends through only a few brief lines of text. The advances in social media certainly make it possible to stay in touch, but they do not compare to the enjoyment that comes from a face-to-face meeting.

What Stands In The Way?

I recently spent some time examining my use of technology. I discovered that television shows and website browsing are activities in which I regularly engage during the times in which I could be visiting. I realized that my parents and their friends did not have access to these distractions and so, despite their busy schedules, they had time to visit. 

Their visits filled them up and created enduring relationships. The visits I have online seem to bother me. They don't fill me up, they just serve as creative distractions that allow me to avoid authentic communication. They give me the sense of open communication but leave me without the ability to grow relationships of lasting trust. At best, online communication is a shallow form of checking in. I think the majority of us long for something much deeper.

When was the last time you evaluated how you spend your time?

Do you take time to visit in your living room or on the front porch with your family and friends?

Are you forming relationships that are more than just bits of text on the screen?

I met a man the other day who cautiously admitted that he does not use a computer. I could tell that he was embarrassed by this admission and that he was worried I might think he was out of touch with the times. I actually found myself admiring his commitment.

I do not suggest that we should follow his example and eliminate the use of computers, but I do believe we need to spend a bit more of our time social networking the old fashion way;  face-to-face in a comfortable chair with all electronic distractions set into silent mode. This is how trust is fostered and relationships are built. I hope to join you in a quiet place soon.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Building Trust

Please allow me to state the obvious. Trust requires complete openness. Despite the simplicity of this statement, many of us withhold believing that it is not good to expose our true feelings until trust is built. For some reason, we think that we must hold back in the beginning so that we can build trust.

In reality, the opposite actually occurs. When we hold back, the person we are dealing with perceives that we are holding back, and begins to feel suspicious. It happens this way because once we see that someone is holding something back, we wonder what else they might be trying to hide. When we feel this way, our ability to trust is eroded.

It is true, that openness leaves us vulnerable, but when we are vulnerable, we are able to determine very quickly who we can and cannot trust. I have noticed, that it generally does not hurt very bad when somebody we hardly know violates are trust, but the closer someone gets, the more it hurts when trust is broken. Trusting from the beginning allows us to identify those that would hurt us before they get too close.

Step Forward With Confidence

I know that some of us are afraid of being open with others because we think that if they see us as we really are, they may not want to be around us. This way of thinking limits our ability to truly be known, and keeps us in a state of false pretense. By that I mean that it keeps us pretending to be something that we really are not. Sooner or later, our flaws will be exposed and others will feel as if their trust was violated by our attempt to cover it up.

Character always reveals itself over time. If we want to be trustworthy, then we must trust from the very beginning. I am not suggesting that we attempt to expose all of our flaws in every new relationship. Instead, I am inviting you to consider the levels of trust you are extending in your various relationships, and then determine if you are extending the proper amount. Here are some questions that will help in your evaluation. 

Are you honoring each relationship with the amount of trust it deserves?

Are you willing to be open and to share the real you?

Do you think trust is given? Or must it be earned?

I am happy to be a trusting person. I have experienced the violation of trust many times. It hurt each time it happened, but I am thankful that I decided to continue trusting others. I know it is a complex issue, and sometimes it takes me a moment to remember that my preference is to trust, but when I trust others, I enjoy life.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

 760-559-3548

Back In The Saddle Again 

Today, I feel rested and ready to jump back in to the game of life. As I sat down to plan my week, I realized that I am in the midst of some very significant commitments. Several of these projects are set to kick-off over the course of the next two weeks and I am not ready. 

A part of me feels very worried. The weight of these responsibilities is heavy and there is a lot riding on their successful completion. My immediate desire is to ride off in multiple directions with the hope of getting as much as I possibly can get done on each project. I know this strategy will not work so I am tempering this desire with focused planning.

The Busy Life

Sometimes when we are busy, we feel the urge to move quickly. Because there are only so many hours in the day, we believe that moving fast will help us accomplish more. Unfortunately, many of us have come to know for our selves, that speed is usually not the best solution. The truth is, it often leads to more pressure and stress and a lot of mistakes. 

The key is to align our actions with our purpose. This ensures that we are always moving in the right direction. Movement in the right direction, even in the most stressful of times, is always more valuable that moving quickly. We have all experienced the thrill of going no where fast. It is in those moments when we long to be on the right path.

Busy work is often necessary, but we must make sure that our busy efforts will actually lead us to the results we want. If it won't, then we need to find out what will, or we will begin to feel overwhelmed and out of balance. 

Moving Forward

Forward progress, gives us a sense of satisfaction. It helps us feel good about the work we are doing and renews our energy. 

Are you making progress on your meaningful goals?

Do you appreciate the progress you are making?

When was the last time you slowed down so that you could make sure that you were moving in the right direction?

We are in charge of creating our own legacy. We will leave one, whether we focus on it or not. Planning, helps me understand the ramifications of each and every move i make. When I plan, I move with purpose, when I fail to plan, I become subject to the random pulls of the universe. Whenever I feel busy, I remind myself that there will always be enough time to accomplish the things that matter most. Then I spend a few minutes reconnecting with what really matters. It may seem like a delay in the heat of things, but it always saves me time. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Family Ties

This week, I have been in the mountains with my original family. By that, I mean my mother, my uncles and aunts, and my brothers and sisters. Our children are with us, but they are not the focus of this event. Instead, we are focusing on the people that brought us all together – our ancestors. 

It is fun to be together. The memories of the good old days are constantly on our minds. However, the common purpose that brings us together is not strong enough to overcome our individual differences and perspectives. This is made evident by the story telling that is going on. I have heard many different versions of the same story. Each witness learned different things or understood different intentions. 

The Same Difference

Many of the same events shaped our growth and development, but the level of diversity that is found within our own family amazes me. The fact that we came from the same background makes it very easy for me to believe that we are the same, and that we see things the same way. I often find this assumption to be very wrong. Sometimes, I am unable to let go of it before a lack of respect is felt, or an offense is taken. Is it any wonder that many of us struggle so much when we are engaged in teaming with people who grew up in very different homes and with different values? 

The work of diversity and inclusion is something very dear to my heart and a driving force of my work. Nevertheless, I find it difficult to put on my working hat when I am with my family. The pull of our similar experiences makes it difficult for me to see each person individually. But when I am able to see things with my eyes open, I discover the most wonderful differences. 

Some of these differences are so surprising that I find myself wondering how they are possible. These are the ones that are difficult to accept. Thankfully, I have learned that acceptance is not what most of us want. Instead, we hunger for understanding.

A More Perfect Union

Once, we feel understood, our need to be accepted is significantly diminished. This is because the most passive forms of acceptance come from external sources. True acceptance comes from within. It cannot be given; it must be felt internally.

Understanding on the other hand requires an active effort. It only comes when we allow ourselves to see what someone else is seeing. To gain it, we must open our mind and suspend our own judgments and assumptions. It does not require acceptance, it simply requires us to see the other. It is enough to be seen, and once we are seen we begin to accept our self. Understanding leads to self-awareness, which leads to acceptance.

When we understand each other, we are able to produce amazing results. Understanding provides the freedom to contribute our differences for the good of the whole in a way that acceptance never can. Understanding allows me to be different instead of forcing me to become the same. It provides a greater sense of value, which leads to me becoming and sharing my best.

Is your goal to accept, or understand others?

What can you do to be a better listener?

Are you willing to see people as they are instead of as you think they should be?

There is no escaping diversity. It is found in even the most similar groups. This is a fact for which we should feel an immense amount of gratitude. After all, if we were all the same, there would be no need for all of us.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

We are in Nephi, Utah, our home away from home. It feels so good to be here. I enjoy the simple and relaxing pace of life, which fosters a natural relief from the cares of my world. I don't feel the way I feel here, anywhere else. Simply put, I feel free.

The First Breath

We arrived Saturday evening. When I stepped out of the car a powerful image came to my mind. The only way I can describe it, is to say that I felt as if I were coming up for air. Let me explain.

I like to swim, and when I am in our pool, I often swim several lengths under water. I always begin with a goal in mind, hoping to set a new record for underwater swimming. As I make the turn for the last lap, I am almost always out of air. I push on, knowing that I can surface whenever I want. Sometimes, before I reach the top, my eyes feel like they are going to bulge out. When I finally surface, that first breath is magical. It fills my lungs with the oxygen I need and life quickly returns to my oxygen-deprived body.

That is what it felt like when I arrived here in Nephi. My first breath out of the car was a cleansing breath. It filled me with a quiet calm feeling. I immediately felt oxygen returning to my tired body and soul. I knew I needed it, I just didn't know how badly.

A Place To Repose

I am thankful for this special place. Every time I come here, I feel refreshed and renewed. It is great to have a place like this to escape from the cares of the world.

Where do you go when you need to get away?

How long has it been since you came up for air?

This year, we will only spend a week here in Nephi. It feels like such a short moment, but I am sure it will be enough. Life has already returned to my being in so many different ways. Life is good!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

I See Me

This morning, during a meditative moment, I pondered some instructions on how to live a balanced and happy life. I saw a few gaps in my own personal behavior and began to contemplate how I might grow beyond these personal stoppers.

As I thought about each item, the faces of the people I described at the beginning of this post entered my mind. I saw that the things that are bothering me about them are actually things that are bothering me about me. My behavior, in many ways parallels their behavior. The circumstances are different, but the actions are very similar.

As I allowed myself to dig deeper, I began to see an even bigger sin. The image of the "judgmental" me stood before my eyes and I witnessed the pain that I am causing others. Instead of comforting them while they were in need of comfort, I judged them. My words did not condemn them, but my silent actions added to their sorrow.

Convicted, I sat marveling at how easy it is to project my own sins upon others. The rancor I feel at their behavior is actually a release from my own disappointment. Judging and condemning someone else for some reason, makes me feel free from my own fault. They become the worst side of me, and I somehow eliminate my own guilt.

Moving Forward

The purpose of my life is to help others become their best. There is work for me to do so that I may fulfill that vision. The growth opportunity now standing before me is one of letting go. I constantly say that life is not about what we do, it is about what we do about what we do. My behavior has been inconsistent with that belief. I have held on to the past, instead of allowing the people in my life the freedom and opportunity to move forward. This grip on what happened, will continually prevent me from moving forward. These questions helped me refocus my efforts.

What do I really want for my friends?

Am I comforting them in the moments when they need comfort?

In what way can I support them now?

Am I willing to forgive myself and move forward?

I finished my morning meditation knowing that some of the judgement remained with me. I know that awareness is only the beginning and that I have work to do now to let go. As I let go of some these feelings, my own imperfections stare me in the face. It is easy to feel angry with myself, and guilty for behaving in such a way. These feelings don't last long because I willingly forgive myself and consciously decide to be better. As I look at the previous me, I feel grateful for the lessons learned. The sun is shining and I can see a glimpse of the future me. This gives me the hope and the faith I need to move my feet. See you on path.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Many of my childhood heroes were sports stars. Growing up in LA, I wore T-shirts with the faces of Steve Garvey, Ron Cey, Steve Yeager, Magic Johnson, Kurt Rambis, Roman Gabriel, Pat Hayden, Marcus Allen and Kareem Abdul Jabbar. These were the people who contributed so much to our local teams. I also remember hating Reggie Jackson, Lou Pinella, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and nearly every other member of the Yankees, Red Sox and the Notre Dame football team. 

I admired these men for their ability to play the game. They were stars in our community, and they worked hard to be solid citizens and to protect their image. They were very careful with how they talked about their individual greatness. They were confident but humble about their super star status. We saw them make mistakes and they did their best to apologize for their human failures and move on. They did their best to obey the law and to stay out of trouble. They played for the team and always remembered that the name on the front of their jersey was much more important then the name on the back.

Super EGOS

Today, that way of thinking is long gone. Our sports heroes seem to be more interested in grabbing attention, on and off the field, then they are in winning championships. Tonight, Lebron James, will be the feature of a one hour special on ESPN. The purpose of the special is to announce which team will now be blessed with his ability. I admit that his announcement is news worthy, and I am actually excited about the prospect of James, Wade, Bosh trio in Miami, but I am confused about why this announcement will take an hour, and even more confused as to why many people will be watching. 

I am stunned at King James' willingness to treat his search for a new team like a reality TV show. Can you imagine Magic Johnson, Larry Bird or Michael Jordan doing that? What is even more surprising is the fact that he has yet to win anything, but he walks around like he is the greatest of all time. Muhammed Ali was known to tout his greatness, but he backed it up. Lebron hasn't done that yet. He is a great player, but he have the resume of a champion, nor does he act like one. How long will our fascination last? What will his legacy be if he is unable to win with his new crew? 

It is obvious that he needs to be noticed, and he is not alone. Even many of the lesser skilled players are demanding the media focus. Their desire to be noticed seems to be greater than their desire to win. The search for popularity is not confined to our sports figures. It spills over into every industry we know. 

Our Search

It would be easy for me to end this post now. I could sit in my easy chair and think about the flaws of our public leaders without ever shining the light inward, but my musings mean very little to me, without a moment of reflection. 

I too, would like to be more popular. I work hard every day to produce excellence, and in my opinion, not enough people in the world know who I am. The majority of my time is spent producing a valuable service, but some of it is spent figuring out how to get the message out. I want a bigger audience than I currently have, and I believe it is acceptable to search for that audience. I even use the media to help me build that audience. 

The bother that I feel with this summer's free agency reality show is that the attention is being focused on the wrong thing. It seems our super stars want so desperately to be liked, that they have forgotten what it is that makes us like them. I loved my sports heroes as a youth, because they were champions. That didn't mean that they always won, but it meant that they always acted like it. I loved my political leaders because they did their best to do the right thing with the most minimal amount of impact on our daily lives. I was loyal to the brands I used because they produced good products and services. They understood that their popularity depended on their ability to bring us value. What happened?

We are experiencing a great famine in the land. It is a leadership famine and it is widespread. The answer is for each of us to remember that when we bring value, we will be popular. We won't have to blow our own horn, because others will be doing it for us. 

What value are you contributing in your circle of influence?

Are your efforts producing positive results?

Our society needs you to be your best. We will push the "like button" more often, when you add value to our lives. We don't want gimmicks or drama, we want to be enriched by what you have to offer. Are you willing to deliver?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Creative Avoidance

When I waste these moments, either sleeping or engaging in activities that are unaligned with my purpose, the rest of the day follows suit. Things just don't flow like they should and I end up wandering around in a bit of stupor trying to catch up. My search for replacement moments that will allow me to connect with my "best self" is rarely, if ever fulfilled.

My greatest disconnects happen during the summer months. It is during this time that I experience the biggest conflict between the demands of my personal and professional life. When my children are in school, they are also getting up early and going to bed early, but when they are on summer break, they stay up late and sleep in.

When I stay on course with my "early to bed and early to arise" way of living I spend fewer moments with them. It is sometimes difficult to balance the value of getting up early with my value of spending family time together. Over the years, I have become free within these competing interests and found ways to manage the dissonance.

My Key

My game begins early. My chances for a productive and successful day are magnified when I get up early. I know this because I have experimented with my schedule. I do my best to organize my life so that I am aligned with this awareness and I allow myself the luxury of breaking away when other interests would be better served. The key is that I know when I am most productive and I do my best to be awake and in motion during those times.

Do you know when you are most productive?

Are you maximizing those moments?

What strategies to you use to make sure nobody interrupts you doing that time?

Early works for me. It may not for you, and there should be no pressure to follow what works for others. If you want to be your best, then you must know when you are most likely to be at your best. Those who learn to live during those moments are able to succeed in during the times when they don't have their best stuff. They choose to organize their day in ways that allow them to live in the the rhythm of their best. Are you doing the same?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Unfounded Fears

My running routes take me through the rocks, grass and undeveloped desert, which are all perfect dwelling places for the mojave green and diamond back rattlesnake. The intense morning heat, made me believe that I might run into one of these slithering creatures at every step. My fear quickly fatigued me, and made the run more difficult than normal. I never got into a rhythm, because I was on the look out for danger. Interestingly enough, I never saw a single reptile despite my heightened state of alert.

Nevertheless, this fear continued to drain my energy and I stopped to walk several times to catch my breath. I just couldn't shake the thought from my mind. As I pressed forward, I began to think of the different fears we often face in life and their impact on our ability to be productive. 

As I pondered this phenomenon, I realized that we often blow our fears, and their ability to dam our progress, out of proportion. This doesn't mean that they are not real, it simply means that we place too much emphasis on their ability to impede our progress. They may represent very real dangers, and we definitely want to have a plan in place to act when their reality is finally manifested, but we do not need to spend our days expecting certain doom at any moment. When we do that, we drain the energy we have for life and become a slave to our own imagination.

The Way Out

Fears are overcome by preparation. In our planning moments, we must consider the things that frighten us, and prepare for their unlikely occurrence. I often prepare for the worst, and though it rarely ever happens, I am ready when it does. This keeps me anchored in a proactive state, and prevents me from moving into a reactive frenzy.

Do you have fears that are draining your energy?

What is your plan to deal with them?

There are many things we can do to overcome our rational and irrational fears. Sometimes, like on my run this morning, the anxiety caused by our fears can overcome us. We must be ready to stay the course. If you are prepared, you shall not fear.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Dark Path

The details of the dispute are unimportant. Suffice it to say, that we each understood the agreement differently and expected something different from the other. When we discovered that our understandings did not match, we both dug in and took a stand for what we thought was right. This only led to more misunderstandings and a rise in temperature.

Our negotiations reached a boiling point yesterday. My partner chose to limit our conversations to email, which added to our inability to communicate effectively and resolve the issue. After a long day of virtual bickering, we both were ready to end all conversations. It seemed like there was no way for both of us to get what we want, so we both were ready to bitterly part ways. Neither one of us wanted that, but we weren't willing or able to find a compromise either.

Integrity

I awoke this morning with thoughts of this conflict. I marveled at the amount of wasted energy, and the simpleness of the dispute. I can see no value in sticking to my position, nor can I see any value in moving forward without resolving the issue or at least getting a part of what I want. We have entered the realm of lose / lose.

The more I thought about it, the more I began to see a value proposition that made sense: I desire to be a man of integrity, and integrity is not situational. By that, I mean that my ability to stand in integrity is not dependent on the other person's ability to do the same. The blessing of integrity comes to those who act justly, even when they feel like they are being dealt with in an unjust way.

I am not going to get what I want. I did not ensure that outcome in the beginning by clarifying what it was that I wanted, so I am unable to get it now. I am responsible for the situation and it is now i get to choose whether I will be a victim or a victor. It is simply my choice.

All it requires is for me to fulfill his version of the agreement. This means that I must let go of the wrong I feel and embrace what he feels is right. The monetary requirement is very small, meaning that it is not worth the negative energy that is being generated. 

What Is The Price?

This time the price ($) is small, so it is easy to come to this conclusion, but my wandering mind is wondering where the line would be drawn. In this case, a quality product was created, the dispute is over expectations unrelated to that fact. There is now no future relationship, but the present is still important. I am sure there are times when an inferior product is delivered that it is not worth behaving in this way. Standing in integrity does not mean that we allow others to walk over us, it simply means that we will do the right thing. I think we generally know the right thing, and if we listen to what is going on inside of us, we can summon the courage to do it.

It may seem unfair or unjust to concede the point with no compensation, but I have learned that the quicker I resolve negative issues, the sooner I am able to focus on the positive ones.

What do you do when you feel like you have been dealt with in an unjust way?

How do clear the issue so that you can move forward?

What is the price of your integrity?

As I write, I notice that I continue to feel bitter about the situation, but interestingly enough, I feel good about my decision. That is really all that matters to me. That feeling gives me the peace to move forward without looking back. There will always be conflict, but that does not mean that there must also be a conflicted soul. I choose to step above the fray and move on. I hope, that in your world, you will do the same. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

What I found, surprised me. The advertisement was actually about elective cosmetic surgery and the message was that the use of these services would actually help a person to become a better person. This message seems so superficial and I had a hard time believing that anybody would fall for it. Do we really believe that the cosmetic enhancement of our exterior appearance will actually help us be a better person? I hope not.

Finding the Meaning

I have known many successful people who, despite their successes, find themselves wondering if their success is really all there is to life. Some, in their search for something more have spent their money on fast cars, beautiful boats and elegant homes. Others have decided to reach for youth by surgically enhancing their outward appearance. Only a few look inward, and begin to focus their energy on discovering what really brings meaning to their life.

Those who look inward appear vibrant and full of energy. They are the ones who are living on purpose. They are the ones who are becoming a better person. Those who look outward, believing that they can somehow buy happiness or mold youth back into their physical appearance, continue to feel worn out and run down.

We are naturally filled with a desire to succeed. This desire, generally makes it difficult for many of us to be satisfied. Instead of appreciating what we have, we are constantly reaching for something more. I understand this perspective and accept it is as something good. I am not troubled by the fact that we are reaching, but I am troubled by what we are reaching for. Too often, it is for things that bring little or no value. If we really want to feel good, then we must reach for things that bring meaning into our life.

Be Like Yourself

The most important discovery an individual can make is that he or she possesses unique talents. When we focus our existence on developing those talents and sharing them with others our search for meaning becomes valid. Any other path will lead us into the fatigue felt by selfish pursuits.

What are your unique talents?

What are you doing to develop them?

Who are you sharing them with?

The best you is within you. It cannot be unleashed by superficial enhancements. If we really want to become our best, then we must be willing to invest in the development of our authentic self. I dare you to discover your core, and then to let it shine brightly.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-33548

It seems that whenever I feel alone, one of these awesome people calls me on the phone, sends me a message or just stops by to see how I am doing. When I thank them for their presence and thoughtfulness, they simply state how much they love me and remind me of when I was there for them.

Friends That Lift!

I am grateful for so many positive influences in my life. I recognize that our relationships are reciprocal, but it always feels like I am getting more than my share, so I dig deeper.

I am surprised at the number of my friends who are actually clients. Our friendship is the foundation of the work we do. Very few were friends before we began working together, our relationship developed into a friendship because we shared so much life together.

The basis of these friendships is our ability to see each other as people first. That makes it easy to help, to counsel and to share. I never feel like holding back, I just feel like giving more and more.

Are the people you work with your friends?

Do you know who they really are?

Are you willing to stand with them in the work you do?

I once hired a marketing company to figure out why my client's enjoyed working with me. They asked my clients to describe the work that we do together. The most common answer was, "Andrew is my friend." 

At first, I did not know what to do with this information. I thought, "how do I use that to develop new clients?" After awhile, it dawned on me, "clients and consultants get in the way, friends make life a joy." You got a friend in me.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

This Day Belongs To Me

I know it is because I make each day my own. My secret is to prepare as if everything that I am, depends upon me being ready to make the most of each day. I approach life with wonder – the type of wonder that awakens me to the possibility that I will be asked to step into the shoes of greatness. 

Even when the odds are against me, I step into my vision with a certainty that all will be well. I am not afraid of what might present itself, instead I remind myself that I am ready at a moment's notice to share my story and the moments that define who I am.

Do you make the day, or does the day make you?

Do you know who you are, and are you ready to be that person?

Are you willing to share the very best of you are with those you meet?

It is often a very scary proposition to stand in the vision. It requires faith and hope and an abundant nature. Too often we embrace our poverty as if letting go will deprive us of something worth holding. Today, I dare you to stand in your vision – it is where you will feel most alive.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

For some members in our little group, this will be the most difficult experience they have ever faced. For others, it will be a welcome relief from the pressure they face on a daily basis. For me, it will be my first experience as the oldest person in the group. I don't feel it, but I know my time to stand on the top is ebbing, so I will enjoy every moment as we ascend to wonderful heights. 

We will all see something different when we stand on this high point. That is one of the greatest things about life – despite the face that we share each day with each other, our experience is always individual. 

I am thankful for the high points in my life. There have been many, and each one brought different meaning and purpose to my tiny / grand existence. That is why I am constantly reaching for new heights. I need to stretch and be stretched so that I can become my best.

What are the high points of your life?

What lessons did you learn from standing on the top?

When was the last time you reached for a new peak experience?

I will think of you when I am on the top of Southern California. I will express my thanks for your support and my desire for you to become your best. Please do the same for me!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Sometimes, my work interferes, but I do my best to be here and to be a part of their lives. I was not born a father, and so I have learned many lessons along the way to becoming the father I am today, and I realize that I still have so much to learn.

I have experienced many honors, earned many degrees and enjoyed many breakthroughs in my work, but none them compare to the thrill I feel when one of my children call me dad. Their beautiful faces inspire me and fuel my desire to reach for the next level.

Consequently, I have come to understand that the greatest work I will ever do is within the walls of my own home. It is here that I will leave a mark that cannot be erased. It is here that my legacy will be formed. Thank you Christina, Jacob, Joseph, John, Sarah, Rebekah and Leah. You make it so easy to be happy and to put other interests in their proper perspective. Thank you Stacy for creating this beautiful family with me and for continually breathing life into our dreams.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548