On September 1st, 2001, I sat at my desk in my office studying a set of loan documents. I was about to borrow money against the equity we had in the office building, and reinvest it in our commercial finance enterprise. As I was pondering the impact of this event, I felt a distinct impression that I should pass on this loan and figure out another way to breathe life into our business.
Our industry had been in a bit of a downward spiral since the beginning of Y2K. There were signs that things were improving, but credit was still difficult to find, and our plan was to use the proceeds of the loan to finance some business credits that our funding sources were not willing to approve.
The Whisperings of Angels
I truly believed that this was a viable way to strengthen our business, and so I began to argue with myself. My internal conversation went something like this: "If I don't invest this money, we are going to run into trouble." "Not as much trouble as you will if you do this." "The best strategy right now is to pull back and see what happens." "If I do that, it may appear as if we are in trouble. I don't want people to think that we are struggling." "Are you really that concerned about what people think?" "Yes, it's important to me." "The business will either survive on its own, or it is not worth having. You need to think about protecting and providing for your family. This is not a good decision." "The business is the best way to provide for my family. We have always enjoyed success, and we will continue to do so. I am moving forward."
And move forward I did. On September 2nd, I turned the documents over to the bank and they deposited my money. I invested it immediately. Just nine days later, the economic recovery was brought to a stand still as the US suffered the foreign attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. That event brought our very small industry of equipment lessors into an even deeper rut, one from which I believe it still has not recovered. Within six months, I lost the substantial sum that I had invested in lesser credits. It was the beginning of a very crippling time for my business. Fortunately, I was eventually able to get out, but not without suffering significant losses.
Early that September, I received a warning. It was a feeling in my gut, but I truly believe it was the whisperings of the angels telling me not to put this capital at risk. Why didn't I listen? Because my ego wouldn't let me. I was riding high on several successes and I believed, even though I felt this impression, that it would always be that way. In the end, I trusted in the power of my ego, instead of the intuition I was receiving.
Listening To Warnings
As I struggled to take care of this problem, I found that it would have been much easier if I had just listened to that small voice of warning. I know that it was prompting me to make a good business decision and I know now, that good business decision are not always easy to make. Since that time, I have paid very close attention to these types of impressions. There may have been a bit of a bruise on my ego if I had followed that initial prompting, but it would have been nothing like the beating I eventually experienced.
We become more sensitive to these promptings when we listen to them. As we follow them, our eyes opened and we begin to see and understand on a different level. My sad experience taught me that we can ignore them, but their impact will not go away.
What Decisions Are Before You?
We find ourselves in challenging times. There are difficult decisions before many of us. Please make sure that you take a moment to really consider what your inner voice is saying to you. It is most important that you listen to it. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, then it is worth taking a break and listening. I sometimes just take a walk to get the mail or stand up and look out the window, so that I can clear my head and get in touch with my real self.
How do you get in touch with your inner voice? Do you know what it sounds like?
Do you listen to and act on the promptings you receive?
What are some things you need to let go? What are some things you need to pursue?
At the time I pondered entering into that troublesome loan, I knew that I wanted to be doing exactly what I am doing today. I was afraid to make the move, because I was too worried about what I might lose. If my focus had instead been on what I might gain, I would have listened to that inner voice and began working on my transition sooner, and I would have preserved our assets. Sure, I still made it to where I wanted to go, but not without a lot of unnecessary pain. Don't be afraid to listen to your inner voice. You can trust it!
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