There is no doubt about it. What he did changed my life. I was an Apple Macintosh user when being an Apple Macintosh user wasn't cool. I bought Apple stock when it was $13.56 a share. Thankfully I am still holding it. I got my first iPod nearly a year before I ever heard anybody else talk about it. I am writing this on my MacBook Pro. My iPhone is in my pocket, and my iPad is within reach. These things changed my life and definitely make life more convenient, but did they make my life more meaningful?

The answer to that question is a definite no. What Steve did changed what I do, but it did not change who I am. As I examine his life, I am learning many lessons that I think can help me live a more meaningful life, but these are things that were largely hidden while he was alive. Sadly, much of what I am discovering as I read his biography speak more about how not to live a meaningful life then about how to live a meaningful life. I am not sure how Steve would feel about this statement, because I think he was generally confused about what mattered most: the market or the people. In my mind, there is no confusion. The quantity of what we do, can never compare to the quality of who we become. 

By Saying this, I do not mean to imply that he was a bad man. I think he was a good man who just got a little to busy, though, like most of us sometimes do. The busyness and the business of life prevented him, for much of his life, from focusing on what really mattered. His biography makes it pretty clear that he knew this about himself. Unfortunately, this self-awareness did not change how he lived for most of his life. This should not surprise us, Many of us see the same thing, yet we continue to focus on the things that matter least. There is a worldly pressure to do so.

The Motivating Force of Mortality

In 2003, Steve was diagnosed with a rare, somewhat treatable, form of pancreatic cancer. One great quality that he demonstrated from that point on was his extreme faith. His faith was not particularly spiritual, as he stated that the existence of God was only 50-50. He simply believed that he would survive the impact of this disease. He told us several times that he was cured. Reports indicate that he believed he would beat it, right up until the day he died.

Yet somewhere inside, he lived with the knowledge that his time was short. It is reported that he looked in the mirror everyday so that he could ask himself one simple question: "If today was my last day, would I do the things that I am about to do?" The question is revealing because of what he did with his time. The tech contributions he made after his diagnosis are the ones that define his legacy and the post-mordem advances that we are told are yet to be released will bless the world we live in for years to come. 

There is evidence to suggest that he valued his life more after he learned of the disease that eventually killed him. He is quoted as having said that his increased awareness of his own mortality motivated and focused him. Perhaps the clearest picture of what he valued comes to us from the commencement address he delivered at Stanford University in 2005. On that occasion he shared three simple lessons from his life. 

The lessons Steve shared at that time were all learned through his personal heartache, humiliation and close calls. Remarkably, this how we learn many things. Life has a way of presenting us with some event, person, death, idea, or relationship that challenges us beyond our capabilities. These things often lead us to the very edge of our own private resources. Sooner or later, no matter how much success we have enjoyed, we all "lose" at something. Through these losses, we learn that there is a larger journey; something bigger than what we produce.

For Our Greater Good

My question is this: Is a crisis necessary to motivate us to make meaning? 

I thought about this from a long time and I am convinced that the answer is no. In fact, I have done more than think about this. I have dedicated my life and my work to meaning making experiences. I found that the meaning that comes from understanding in moments of joy is much more powerful than the meaning that comes from the moments of crisis. I also learned that when I take the time to make the meaning during the good times the crises I experience seem more bearable. The strength I gain from this approach is remarkable. This is why I so often say, "Life is Good!" It really is.

So why don't we do it? Because thinking about the big picture, (who we want to be?), requires us to think big, while living into the results questions, (what do I want to do?), just requires us to do.

René Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." Thinking is not enough, as Steve's most famous campaign taught us, we must "Think Different". The big picture requires us to push the pause button, at least every once in a while, so that we can reflect and examine our life. This helps us become clear about what we want.

When the "Who am I?" question is well defined, the "What should I do?" questions are easily answered . That is how meaning is created. That is how we live into purpose. That is how we become whole and authentic. 

Goodbye Steve. We learned so much from you. I hope the most important lesson we learn is that no one gets out alive. If we could only learn to understand that one simple lesson, I am sure we allow our own mortality to motivate us to live a more meaningful life.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I marveled at his ability to see his own place in the circle of life at such a young age. His statement has stuck with me for many years and came back to me again as we recently said goodbye. He is now off to serve a mission in Concepción Chile for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints. Some 26 years ago, I said goodbye to my own family to serve a similar mission in Maracaibo Venezuela. It is now his turn.

A Sacrifie of Self

He left just a week and half ago and will not be back for two years. Our contact with him will be very limited. Saying goodbye, was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy that he made this choice, but that doesn't make me miss him any less.

His final week at home was spent packing his bags and packing up the things he would ultimately leave behind for the next two years. It was difficult to watch him decide what to do with so many of his childhood treasures. He spent a lot of time sorting and resorting the few things he wanted to make sure were available to him when he returns. 

A missionary leaves everything behind. On the day of his departure, he handed us his iPad and his cell phone. Then he deactivated his Facebook account. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these items. He willingly left them behind so that he could focus all of his energy on serving the Lord. He even gave up his name and will be known simply as Elder Thorn. This was difficult for me to watch, but because it was once my turn I understood. I know that what he is about to gain is worth so much more than what he just let go.

Finding Joy

The pursuit of happiness is common to all of us. We look everywhere for it. Unfortunately, this search often results in the development of some very selfish behaviors. Over the years, I have known many who have come to realize that there must be something more than the ways of the world. They look to find a better life. They look to find their better self.

Elder Thorn is doing that now, and he is about to learn one of Jesus' greatest lessons. He taught – "For whosoever will save his life shall lose: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it". My beloved son is now about to find himself. Through his efforts, he will realize that self-denial is an accelerated path to self-discovery. 

Yes, he will find happiness, but more importantly, he will find joy. So many people have wondered how Stacy and I can let our son go. They want to know how we will survive with only one brief email a week for the next two years. We will survive because we know our son is nobly dedicating himself to a cause that is much bigger than his individual desires. He will benefit in so many ways. He will learn things that are never learned in college. He will learn to lead others as he will be blessed with leadership opportunities that are rarely available to those so young. He will learn to boldly walk in the world and to take care of himself. He leaves a boy, and will return a man filled with joy.

Until We Meet Again

Goodbye Jacob. We will miss you. The noise in our home is not as rich without you here, but we are already feeling the blessings of your service. Thankfully, there is an image of you emblazoned upon my mind. As you walked out the door, you paused at the piano and played a few short notes. I had never heard the song before, and I cannot recall its melody. Instead, I can only see you sitting there and blessing us one last time with your beautiful music.

Now, the people of Concepción Chile get to hear your music and see your smile. Give it to them freely and share it openly. As you stand on the banks of the stream of missionary service remember: Now it is your turn. Don't waste a moment.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

How much time did you spend this week reflecting about what is going on around you and planning your life?

What are you afraid of? Is your fear keeping you from acting courageously?

Do you know why you get up in the morning? Is your purpose clearly defined?

I ask you to consider these questions because they are directly related with the responses gathered from a one question survey of older adults (+ 75). The question is a simple one – "If you could live your life over, what would you do differently?"

I think the answer to this question is pertinent to all of us, but especially to those of us who still have the greater portion of the second half of their life to live. Are you as interested as I am in the responses? Do you think the responses can help you make a course correction if needed?

Trick Questions

Your answers to the questions I asked you to consider at the beginning of this post are very important. That is because the questions are closely correlated with the top three answers the seniors gave in the one questions survey. They said that if they could live their life over, they would do the following:

1. Spend more time reflecting on life.
   
2. Act more courageously.
3. Clarify earlier in their life their individual purpose.

Take a look again at your answers. Are you satisfied with your responses? Are you spending enough time in these areas to help you make meaning out of your life? It is your life to live and I affirm that now, is the most valuable resource you have. Use it wisely.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

These questions are the result of my brainstorming what I want in 2011. I just turned my hands loose and started letting them flow from me without thinking. Some questions led to other questions, but there really was no thought in the order, or restraint on my part. I just let them flow from me.

Reflection

About three quarters of the way through I noticed that I was not proposing any "why" questions. As this fact bubbled out of my subconscious and into my conscious thought I asked myself, "why not"? I determined that it was because the "why" questions do not empower me to be my best. They do not help me in any way. 

What questions are you asking yourself?

How will they help you become your best?

I am not seeking for life's answers. Instead, I am living in the question.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

What Do You See? 

As we walked, we came upon a group that was seated in front of a dutch painting. They were listening to an expert who was describing its intricate details as well as the artist's intent. Someone invited us to join the group and we obliged.

Almost immediately, I began to feel very uncomfortable. To me, the expert was taking all of the mystery out of the painting. Her efforts forced us to see the painting through her eyes. To be fair, she may have been explaining the exact intent of the artist, but doing so ruined the the beautiful experience of seeing it for myself.

It didn't take long for me to notice that my client felt the same way. We looked at each other and knew it was time to move one.

The Art of Self Discovery

Just prior to this encounter, we were discussing the journey of self discovery. A request to accelerate the process was expressed. My client had not yet experienced a desired break through and looked to me for answers.  I explained that we cannot be pushed into defining moments. Instead, we must discover them at our own pace.

Upon leaving the expert's briefing, I asked her to tell me what she thought about the presentation. She said it was too detailed for her and raised similar feelings that I had felt. Her expressions provided the right frame to continue our conversation.

Our greatest questions can not be explained by somebody else. The answers we seek our within us. If we want to find them, we must be willing to search them out. This is not an easy process, nor is it a process that we must do on our own. Others can help us through the discovery process, but they cannot explain it to us.

Seeing Things Through Our Own Eyes

The expert interpreted the painting through her own experiences. That forced me to see what she wanted me to see, which may not have been what I needed, or wanted to see.

As a society, we have been lulled into the belief that we need somebody to explain it all to us. As a result, we are constantly exposed to the agendas of the day with very little attempt to hide these persuasive efforts. Great effort is being made to reframe bad as good and good as bad. Sadly, many of us are falling for the hallucinogenics of prime time story telling.  

We need to step away from the social reconstructive efforts of the day so that we can rediscover our own voice. It is the only way we can begin to see things as they really are. It may be that we will see things exactly the way they are being described to us, but at least then we will know where we stand without the emotional swell that comes from the constant bombing of politically correct propaganda. 

My Wish For You

I want you to hear your own voice. I want you to set your own standard and live by it. I know this can be a difficult process, but it is worth it. I frequently ask my clients the question, "what are your values?" and instead of an immediate answer, I am met with a blank stare. This tells me that the person has either forgot his or her values, or is unwilling to stand up for them.

Do you know what your values are?

Are you standing up for them?

When was the last time you had a conversation with yourself?

I invite you to engage yourself in meaningful conversation. Step into it, and give yourself the gift of self dialogue. Question the things that are going on right now. Ask yourself if they are aligned with your personal values. Don't be afraid if they are not. It is ok to feel disconnected from many of the messages that are being put into our social atmosphere. I realized long ago that a life unaligned with values is a life devoid of meaning. What do you stand for?

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Ramadan

September 10 – marks the end of Ramadan. It is a day of forgiveness, fellowship and unity, a time of giving and sharing. Our Muslim friends have spent a month fasting through the daylight hours to demonstrate their love for Allah. It is an amazing time of personal sacrifice and self-discipline. Their quest is to develop greater levels of patience, humility and spirituality.

During Ramadan, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds. it is observed during the ninth month to commemorate the month in which the first verses of the Qur'an were revealed to the Islamic prophet, Muhammad.

We can learn a lot from this Holy season. Ramadan is a time of reflecting, believing and worshiping God. Muslims are expected to put more effort into following the teachings of Islam and to avoid obscene and irreligious sights and sounds. Purity of both thoughts and actions is important. The act of fasting is said to redirect the heart away from worldly activities, its purpose being to cleanse the inner soul and free it from harm. I wonder how the world would be if each of us paused to remember and practice these ideas.

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur

September 8th marked the beginning of the Jewish High Holy Days. It begins with Rosh Hashanah and ends ten days later with Yom Kippur. During these holidays, our Jewish friends look back on the past year and atone for their mistakes against one another and against God.

As part of the High Holy Days services, the Rabbi blows the shofar or ram's horn. This ancient custom serves to awaken the soul of a person to make amends for their mistakes and encourage teshuvah (repentance and rededication).

Rosh Hashanah is a day of remembrance. It is the official Jewish New Year's Day. It is a time in which Jews look back over the year just passed and forward to the year about to come. 

Jews believe that, during the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, God judges each person's deeds, deciding who shall live and who shall die in the year to come. Therefore, Jews pray fervently, fasting for the entire day of Yom Kippur, the "Day of Atonement." This day is devoted to praying for forgiveness for any sins which a Jew may have committed, or which the community may have committed. As the day comes to an end, the shofar is again sounded — in one long, clear blast. Then with a feeling of having a slate wiped clean and a fresh beginning, Jews enter into the new year.

Holy Days

These are special times. The devotion and reflection our Muslim and Jewish friends are simultaneously feeling are of great value to our society. I am thankful that many of us are beginning to understand these days and to respect them.

I am thankful for those from these faiths who are honoring their spiritual roots. I hope that they feel joy in serving and honoring our God. 

There is nothing to fear from these beautiful beliefs. As a Christian, I find it very easy to celebrate the beauty and to learn from the wisdom developed by these practices. I do not feel threatened. Instead I feel enlightened – by participating in some of them with some of my special friends, I have felt like a better Christian.

Have you wished your friends who celebrate Ramadan or the Jewish High Holy Days joy and peace?

What can you learn from these special times?

Are you able to see how closely our sacred beliefs match up with each other?

We are a people who search to know God. We do it in very different ways and I think that is a beautiful part about life. It provides opportunities to experience beauties that we would otherwise miss. I hope you will pause to see what else is out there. I am certain that it will be a faith building experience for you.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I cannot imagine what they must be going through as they pass the long hours in the dark, not knowing if it is day or night. Fortunately, the rescue team is able to keep in close contact with them. 

No Cost Is Too Great

The fact that there are 33 human lives at stake, makes it relatively easy to work in extraordinary ways and spend what ever it takes to rescue the miners. The crews are working around the clock to save the precious lives of these hard working men.

Their efforts, have caused me to think about things differently. I find myself wondering about what is trapped inside of me. I am certain that there are some pretty awesome characteristics that are trapped deep within me that really want to be free. I know they are there, because I often hear them call at me.

As I think this way, I begin to wonder what I am doing to set the future me free. LIke the rescue operations, it will take a lot of work for me to get to them. I must be willing to work around the clock, if I want them to see the light of day.

The Best Of Me

I recognize that the process of discovering the best me is a constant adventure. I also recognize that I am already pretty good, but that does not mean that there is not a better me trapped inside the layers of this external shell hoping and waiting to be born.

When I consider the future me, I can't help but think abut the current me. I do my best to make sure the current me is anxiously engaged in work that will create a better me for tomorrow. It is easy to get caught up in short term pleasures that yield very little long term benefits. Becoming our best requires us to be at the helm of our legacy 24/7.

What is lingering inside of you?

What are you willing to do to free your better self?

I hope you will consider these two questions carefully and then think about what you can do to become your best. There is a better you waiting to be born. You can accelerate that process by digging at the shell that is keeping you trapped. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Big Transition

There was a moment, when I realized what it means to give the bride away. It actually felt very real to me. A lot of different thoughts flooded my mind as I let go of my precious and beloved daughter. I found myself pondering the circle of life and for a brief moment, I was blessed with a vivid vision of what the future me will look like. I enjoyed that moment, but felt the sadness that naturally comes when relationships change.

My thoughts led me to consider the Tibetan Monks who create the Mandala Sand Paintings. They painstakingly lay into place millions of sand particles over a period of months and years to form a beautiful work of art. 

The monks begin the work by visualizing what they want the painting to be. Then they draw an outline on a wooden platform and begin to lay the colored sand grains into place. The paintings often include ancient spiritual symbols and family genealogies. The purpose of their work is to re-consecrate the earth and its inhabitants. The monks believe that by drawing attention to the purposes of life, it will help us regain a focus on what really matters.

Giving My Daughter Away

Traditionally the sand paintings are destroyed shortly after their completion. This is done as a metaphor of the impermanence of life. 

It was this part of the Tibetan Monk story that captured my attention. In many ways, I felt as if Stacy and I had built an amazing work of art, only to give her away. I know, that this is the order of things, but knowing, did not take away the momentary sting of letting go.

Letting go is like that. It requires us to move forward with faith, hoping that something better will be manifested. I know that I have not lost my daughter. I know that we will enjoy many more magic moments before our time on earth together is over. But. I also know that our relationship will now change.

She is an adult and is now sharing her life with another adult. It is no longer my role to place the beautiful grains of sand in her life. She and Mike are now responsible for creating their own mosaic of life. 

The Circle of Life

A friend asked me how I felt on the day after the wedding. I told him that I feel too young to have a married daughter. He said that he also thought I was too young. I realized that the exit door is opening – I am still in the middle of my time, but it will soon be over.

I spent a few moments taking inventory and realigning my life with what really matters. Life, as we know it, ends. Nobody gets out of here alive. Our life's work will be blown away, like the sands of the Tibetan mandalas, as soon as it is complete. Knowing this, helps me make sure that I am totally and completely enjoying the placement of each grain of sand. I'm not wasting any time on putting pieces in place that do not bring me joy. I hope you will join me in doing the same.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Life Is Busy

We were a busy family and I know our friends and family members were busy too. Sometimes they would travel great distances just to be together for a couple of hours. To them, visiting was a priority.

Now, I often wonder how they found the time to visit so often. My life is full. Every moment seems scheduled and so I tell myself that I rarely have time to sit and visit. Lately, I have noticed, that no one else seems to have time to visit either. Our lives are consumed by the demands of work and life. 

We are blessed to live in a time that enjoys so many wonderful technological advancements. All of these tools of technology were designed to give us more time, yet they seem to suck the time away from us. Many of us now connect with our friends through only a few brief lines of text. The advances in social media certainly make it possible to stay in touch, but they do not compare to the enjoyment that comes from a face-to-face meeting.

What Stands In The Way?

I recently spent some time examining my use of technology. I discovered that television shows and website browsing are activities in which I regularly engage during the times in which I could be visiting. I realized that my parents and their friends did not have access to these distractions and so, despite their busy schedules, they had time to visit. 

Their visits filled them up and created enduring relationships. The visits I have online seem to bother me. They don't fill me up, they just serve as creative distractions that allow me to avoid authentic communication. They give me the sense of open communication but leave me without the ability to grow relationships of lasting trust. At best, online communication is a shallow form of checking in. I think the majority of us long for something much deeper.

When was the last time you evaluated how you spend your time?

Do you take time to visit in your living room or on the front porch with your family and friends?

Are you forming relationships that are more than just bits of text on the screen?

I met a man the other day who cautiously admitted that he does not use a computer. I could tell that he was embarrassed by this admission and that he was worried I might think he was out of touch with the times. I actually found myself admiring his commitment.

I do not suggest that we should follow his example and eliminate the use of computers, but I do believe we need to spend a bit more of our time social networking the old fashion way;  face-to-face in a comfortable chair with all electronic distractions set into silent mode. This is how trust is fostered and relationships are built. I hope to join you in a quiet place soon.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Back In The Saddle Again 

Today, I feel rested and ready to jump back in to the game of life. As I sat down to plan my week, I realized that I am in the midst of some very significant commitments. Several of these projects are set to kick-off over the course of the next two weeks and I am not ready. 

A part of me feels very worried. The weight of these responsibilities is heavy and there is a lot riding on their successful completion. My immediate desire is to ride off in multiple directions with the hope of getting as much as I possibly can get done on each project. I know this strategy will not work so I am tempering this desire with focused planning.

The Busy Life

Sometimes when we are busy, we feel the urge to move quickly. Because there are only so many hours in the day, we believe that moving fast will help us accomplish more. Unfortunately, many of us have come to know for our selves, that speed is usually not the best solution. The truth is, it often leads to more pressure and stress and a lot of mistakes. 

The key is to align our actions with our purpose. This ensures that we are always moving in the right direction. Movement in the right direction, even in the most stressful of times, is always more valuable that moving quickly. We have all experienced the thrill of going no where fast. It is in those moments when we long to be on the right path.

Busy work is often necessary, but we must make sure that our busy efforts will actually lead us to the results we want. If it won't, then we need to find out what will, or we will begin to feel overwhelmed and out of balance. 

Moving Forward

Forward progress, gives us a sense of satisfaction. It helps us feel good about the work we are doing and renews our energy. 

Are you making progress on your meaningful goals?

Do you appreciate the progress you are making?

When was the last time you slowed down so that you could make sure that you were moving in the right direction?

We are in charge of creating our own legacy. We will leave one, whether we focus on it or not. Planning, helps me understand the ramifications of each and every move i make. When I plan, I move with purpose, when I fail to plan, I become subject to the random pulls of the universe. Whenever I feel busy, I remind myself that there will always be enough time to accomplish the things that matter most. Then I spend a few minutes reconnecting with what really matters. It may seem like a delay in the heat of things, but it always saves me time. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Family Ties

This week, I have been in the mountains with my original family. By that, I mean my mother, my uncles and aunts, and my brothers and sisters. Our children are with us, but they are not the focus of this event. Instead, we are focusing on the people that brought us all together – our ancestors. 

It is fun to be together. The memories of the good old days are constantly on our minds. However, the common purpose that brings us together is not strong enough to overcome our individual differences and perspectives. This is made evident by the story telling that is going on. I have heard many different versions of the same story. Each witness learned different things or understood different intentions. 

The Same Difference

Many of the same events shaped our growth and development, but the level of diversity that is found within our own family amazes me. The fact that we came from the same background makes it very easy for me to believe that we are the same, and that we see things the same way. I often find this assumption to be very wrong. Sometimes, I am unable to let go of it before a lack of respect is felt, or an offense is taken. Is it any wonder that many of us struggle so much when we are engaged in teaming with people who grew up in very different homes and with different values? 

The work of diversity and inclusion is something very dear to my heart and a driving force of my work. Nevertheless, I find it difficult to put on my working hat when I am with my family. The pull of our similar experiences makes it difficult for me to see each person individually. But when I am able to see things with my eyes open, I discover the most wonderful differences. 

Some of these differences are so surprising that I find myself wondering how they are possible. These are the ones that are difficult to accept. Thankfully, I have learned that acceptance is not what most of us want. Instead, we hunger for understanding.

A More Perfect Union

Once, we feel understood, our need to be accepted is significantly diminished. This is because the most passive forms of acceptance come from external sources. True acceptance comes from within. It cannot be given; it must be felt internally.

Understanding on the other hand requires an active effort. It only comes when we allow ourselves to see what someone else is seeing. To gain it, we must open our mind and suspend our own judgments and assumptions. It does not require acceptance, it simply requires us to see the other. It is enough to be seen, and once we are seen we begin to accept our self. Understanding leads to self-awareness, which leads to acceptance.

When we understand each other, we are able to produce amazing results. Understanding provides the freedom to contribute our differences for the good of the whole in a way that acceptance never can. Understanding allows me to be different instead of forcing me to become the same. It provides a greater sense of value, which leads to me becoming and sharing my best.

Is your goal to accept, or understand others?

What can you do to be a better listener?

Are you willing to see people as they are instead of as you think they should be?

There is no escaping diversity. It is found in even the most similar groups. This is a fact for which we should feel an immense amount of gratitude. After all, if we were all the same, there would be no need for all of us.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

We are in Nephi, Utah, our home away from home. It feels so good to be here. I enjoy the simple and relaxing pace of life, which fosters a natural relief from the cares of my world. I don't feel the way I feel here, anywhere else. Simply put, I feel free.

The First Breath

We arrived Saturday evening. When I stepped out of the car a powerful image came to my mind. The only way I can describe it, is to say that I felt as if I were coming up for air. Let me explain.

I like to swim, and when I am in our pool, I often swim several lengths under water. I always begin with a goal in mind, hoping to set a new record for underwater swimming. As I make the turn for the last lap, I am almost always out of air. I push on, knowing that I can surface whenever I want. Sometimes, before I reach the top, my eyes feel like they are going to bulge out. When I finally surface, that first breath is magical. It fills my lungs with the oxygen I need and life quickly returns to my oxygen-deprived body.

That is what it felt like when I arrived here in Nephi. My first breath out of the car was a cleansing breath. It filled me with a quiet calm feeling. I immediately felt oxygen returning to my tired body and soul. I knew I needed it, I just didn't know how badly.

A Place To Repose

I am thankful for this special place. Every time I come here, I feel refreshed and renewed. It is great to have a place like this to escape from the cares of the world.

Where do you go when you need to get away?

How long has it been since you came up for air?

This year, we will only spend a week here in Nephi. It feels like such a short moment, but I am sure it will be enough. Life has already returned to my being in so many different ways. Life is good!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

I See Me

This morning, during a meditative moment, I pondered some instructions on how to live a balanced and happy life. I saw a few gaps in my own personal behavior and began to contemplate how I might grow beyond these personal stoppers.

As I thought about each item, the faces of the people I described at the beginning of this post entered my mind. I saw that the things that are bothering me about them are actually things that are bothering me about me. My behavior, in many ways parallels their behavior. The circumstances are different, but the actions are very similar.

As I allowed myself to dig deeper, I began to see an even bigger sin. The image of the "judgmental" me stood before my eyes and I witnessed the pain that I am causing others. Instead of comforting them while they were in need of comfort, I judged them. My words did not condemn them, but my silent actions added to their sorrow.

Convicted, I sat marveling at how easy it is to project my own sins upon others. The rancor I feel at their behavior is actually a release from my own disappointment. Judging and condemning someone else for some reason, makes me feel free from my own fault. They become the worst side of me, and I somehow eliminate my own guilt.

Moving Forward

The purpose of my life is to help others become their best. There is work for me to do so that I may fulfill that vision. The growth opportunity now standing before me is one of letting go. I constantly say that life is not about what we do, it is about what we do about what we do. My behavior has been inconsistent with that belief. I have held on to the past, instead of allowing the people in my life the freedom and opportunity to move forward. This grip on what happened, will continually prevent me from moving forward. These questions helped me refocus my efforts.

What do I really want for my friends?

Am I comforting them in the moments when they need comfort?

In what way can I support them now?

Am I willing to forgive myself and move forward?

I finished my morning meditation knowing that some of the judgement remained with me. I know that awareness is only the beginning and that I have work to do now to let go. As I let go of some these feelings, my own imperfections stare me in the face. It is easy to feel angry with myself, and guilty for behaving in such a way. These feelings don't last long because I willingly forgive myself and consciously decide to be better. As I look at the previous me, I feel grateful for the lessons learned. The sun is shining and I can see a glimpse of the future me. This gives me the hope and the faith I need to move my feet. See you on path.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Creative Avoidance

When I waste these moments, either sleeping or engaging in activities that are unaligned with my purpose, the rest of the day follows suit. Things just don't flow like they should and I end up wandering around in a bit of stupor trying to catch up. My search for replacement moments that will allow me to connect with my "best self" is rarely, if ever fulfilled.

My greatest disconnects happen during the summer months. It is during this time that I experience the biggest conflict between the demands of my personal and professional life. When my children are in school, they are also getting up early and going to bed early, but when they are on summer break, they stay up late and sleep in.

When I stay on course with my "early to bed and early to arise" way of living I spend fewer moments with them. It is sometimes difficult to balance the value of getting up early with my value of spending family time together. Over the years, I have become free within these competing interests and found ways to manage the dissonance.

My Key

My game begins early. My chances for a productive and successful day are magnified when I get up early. I know this because I have experimented with my schedule. I do my best to organize my life so that I am aligned with this awareness and I allow myself the luxury of breaking away when other interests would be better served. The key is that I know when I am most productive and I do my best to be awake and in motion during those times.

Do you know when you are most productive?

Are you maximizing those moments?

What strategies to you use to make sure nobody interrupts you doing that time?

Early works for me. It may not for you, and there should be no pressure to follow what works for others. If you want to be your best, then you must know when you are most likely to be at your best. Those who learn to live during those moments are able to succeed in during the times when they don't have their best stuff. They choose to organize their day in ways that allow them to live in the the rhythm of their best. Are you doing the same?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I was staying in a Hilton Hotel, and while I was arranging my things, I discovered a little book called Be My Guest - The Autobiography of Conrad Hilton. I opened the book and was immediately captivated by this unusual story of success.

A Man of Faith

At the time, the only thing I knew about the Hilton family, was that they had a famous heir who was traipsing around the world in a spoiled and erotic frenzy. I assumed that the she came from a long line of excessive living and believed that she accurately represented her roots.

Conrad's story painted a much different picture. He was a man of faith. His mother taught him that prayer was the best investment that he would ever make and so he began nearly every day at his place of worship on his knees in prayer.

He credited the power of prayer to have saved him from the pains of economic turmoil. He said it brought peace in his life. Conrad did not keep his belief in prayer to himself. He spoke about it everywhere he went. His efforts led to the initiation of our National Day of Prayer. He was a very powerful leader, and he was not alone in his belief in prayer, as many other powerful leaders of his time, including many of our government officials, regularly espoused the power of prayer.

What Happened?

Today, just a mere 30 years after Conrad Hilton's death, most business people see prayer as an absurd habit and not a behavior worth developing. I know only a few leaders who consider it an important use of time. I have written about it before, and received emails stating that I am foolish to write about such a topic and that doing so will lead to an erosion of my reader base. Some have gone so far to suggest that praying is a lot like believing in Santa Claus and that it is something only a child would believe in doing.

I wonder what happened? How have we moved so far in so short a time? How is it possible, that only 30 years ago, some of our greatest leaders were speaking of prayer and its power in their lives without any fear of being called childish or foolish.

We Need To Pray

Conrad Hilton's story influenced me. His was not an easy journey. He nearly lost everything during the Great Depression, but he remained faithful to his belief in prayer and eventually rebuilt his empire. My mother taught me to pray too. It was a difficult habit to learn and I admit feeling the pressure from those who scorn its practice, but I stuck with it until I learned to view it as one of the most important investments I make each day. I am grateful for Conrad's willingness to extol this virtue. I love learning from successful people who have the integrity to share their keys to success.

What are your thoughts about prayer?

Is it an investment you regularly make?

Have you experienced its power in your life?

Many believe prayer is a passive process, but it is much more than that. I view it as an active conversation that continues throughout the day. I also learned that the answers to our prayers do not always come in the way we hoped they would come. Generally speaking, we must be willing to submit our will to the will of God. That is a hard thing to do, because it requires faith. In way, the critics of prayer are right – it does require child like faith.

I pray with the attitude that everything depends upon God, and then I get up and begin to move my feet as if everything depends upon me. As I am working, I listen for the guiding responses that always come. It is not always easy to align myself with those messages, but I have learned that it is worth it. The times when I decided to do it my way, are the times when I have suffered the most. I am grateful for my understanding of the power of prayer. I dare you to make it one of your most important daily investments.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

For some members in our little group, this will be the most difficult experience they have ever faced. For others, it will be a welcome relief from the pressure they face on a daily basis. For me, it will be my first experience as the oldest person in the group. I don't feel it, but I know my time to stand on the top is ebbing, so I will enjoy every moment as we ascend to wonderful heights. 

We will all see something different when we stand on this high point. That is one of the greatest things about life – despite the face that we share each day with each other, our experience is always individual. 

I am thankful for the high points in my life. There have been many, and each one brought different meaning and purpose to my tiny / grand existence. That is why I am constantly reaching for new heights. I need to stretch and be stretched so that I can become my best.

What are the high points of your life?

What lessons did you learn from standing on the top?

When was the last time you reached for a new peak experience?

I will think of you when I am on the top of Southern California. I will express my thanks for your support and my desire for you to become your best. Please do the same for me!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Sometimes, my work interferes, but I do my best to be here and to be a part of their lives. I was not born a father, and so I have learned many lessons along the way to becoming the father I am today, and I realize that I still have so much to learn.

I have experienced many honors, earned many degrees and enjoyed many breakthroughs in my work, but none them compare to the thrill I feel when one of my children call me dad. Their beautiful faces inspire me and fuel my desire to reach for the next level.

Consequently, I have come to understand that the greatest work I will ever do is within the walls of my own home. It is here that I will leave a mark that cannot be erased. It is here that my legacy will be formed. Thank you Christina, Jacob, Joseph, John, Sarah, Rebekah and Leah. You make it so easy to be happy and to put other interests in their proper perspective. Thank you Stacy for creating this beautiful family with me and for continually breathing life into our dreams.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

Be Prepared

Our purpose is to scout the trail in advance of a 60 mile hike we will take next week with a group of young men. There was heavy snowfall this year, and the last couple of miles before the summit are on a very steep ridge line.

Too much snow on the ground can make this difficult for the inexperienced hiker to pass safely.  Our plan today is to observe conditions, and select an alternative trail if necessary. This will also give us a chance to identify any other potential dangers.

Today's hike is simply a planning hike. We are investing our time and efforts to better understand the conditions of the trail before we subject our whole organization to its rigors. In away, you can say we are gaining competitive intelligence. We want to understand the cost before we fully invest our resources.

The Power of Planning

These preliminary efforts, remind me how important it is to plan. The amount of energy we spend on this task is directly correlated to the amount of success we experience. Most of us are very good at planning our work efforts, and even our vacations, but too few of us are good at planning life.

To me, life planning exercises are more important than any other type of planning exercises. Yet for some reason, our investment in this activity is surprisingly small. We barely recognize the fact that we are wandering until we reach the end of the trail of life and realize that we have many things that are left undone.

When we take the time to carefully plan our life, we begin to understand which paths we want to take, and which ones we want to avoid. Planning also helps us feel like we are in balance. Successful people plan regularly. In fact, statistics state that the most successful people plan an average of 30 minutes per day. 

Which Way Do I Go?

Today, is a day of discovery. We are seeking to find the safest trail where we will experience the greatest amount of success when we bring our whole team. I liken this step to the dreaming phase of life. It is vitally important because it helps us to identify which way we should go. It also brings certainty to the trail.

What obstacles ahead may prevent your success?

What is your plan to avoid them?

How much time are you spending on life planning exercises?

Life is meant to be enjoyed. It is also meant to be lived on purpose. Time spent on planning exercises helps us to bring critical steps and activities in focus, which always leads to sense of balance and a position of strength. I dare you to invest a few moments each day on discovering, through the power of planning, what you want out of life. I promise your efforts will bring great results. See you on the trail.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Why Is The Last Mile The Hardest Mile?

Because it was a huge business opportunity, my preparation ruled my days, and often spilled into my nights. The closer I got to deadline, the more "it" was with me. I was grateful to enter the home stretch, but the work intensified as I neared the finish line.

To survive, I told myself that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. You know the story, the one when we tell ourselves that:

"everything is crazy right now, but when this project is over, I am going to take a break, get some rest and reenergize myself, and then . . . life won't be crazy anymore."

I say it is a story, because it rarely, if ever, happens. Most of us finish major projects and then find ourselves immediately launching into the craziness again. That mythical break is not based on reality. My project ended yesterday, and I wake up today with new deadlines looming. They cannot be ignored.

Renewal of Energy 

I am fairly confident, that what I describe is a common experience. If we are good at what we do, we will always be asked to do something new when we finish it. I know it is hard to get a breather in between these tasks, but I really don't think we would want it any other way. The purpose is in the journey, we are not meant to be idle.

If we let it, the finish line experience can be a revitalizing and rejuvenating experience. The last mile may be the hardest mile, but the last 100 yards can and should be the easiest. 

To me, a critical and important part of reenergizing myself is to spend a moment taking it all in, before I cross the finish line. As I get ready to cross, I express thanks for not only my efforts, but the efforts of all of those people who have supported me along the way. I allow myself the chance to remember the starting line and all that has happened since that moment. I see the growth that has occurred and that visual quickens my step.

This mental breather gives me a great sense of satisfaction before I finish, and then the actual finish releases a sense of great accomplishment. Instead of crossing the line fatigued and relieved, I cross feeling confident and revived. That gives me the energy I need to catch my breath and move on to whatever is next.

Don't Hold Your Breath

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of the craziness, we hold our breath. The thought that "when this is over, life won't be crazy anymore" is a breath holding strategy. When we hold our breath, we fail to revitalize ourselves. Breathing, in the moment refreshes our being. It sometimes feels counterintuitive, but there are actually many ways to do this. We just have to look for them.

How do you catch your breath?

What gives you the energy to move from one project to the next with the intensity you need to raise the bar?

Who supports you along the way?

LIfe, doesn't wait to be lived. Its beat goes on whether we are ready or not. When we realize that the finish line is really just the next starting line, we can prepare ourselves to cross both with amazing amounts of energy.  

There will always be something new until we die. Don't wait until it is over to breathe, breathe now!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Good Times

As I sat in my chair and attempted to take it all in, I thought about the many things that are going on in each life. None are immune to the challenges of the day. Each one is facing some test that is different than anything they have ever faced before. We are all running to stay ahead of the challenges that life is throwing our way.

As I looked around, I did not see worry and despair on any of the faces. I saw the face of hope. That made me realize how good life is. The problems we meet make our sweet moments even sweeter because they give us perspective. We know what true joy is, because along the trail we have felt sorrow.

It's Your Choice

I am convinced that the way we experience life is a product of our own imagination. We invent it. We may not choose everything that happens to us, but we are certainly free to choose how we respond. We can be miserable if we want, or we can be happy. I choose to live after the manner of happiness. This means that I will be happy during the good times and the bad times. I choose to live that way.

Living in this way does not make the bad times go away, it just makes them bearable. No matter how successful, or happy we become, adversity will always raise its developing head. If we greet it with a smile, then it becomes one of our greatest sources of growth. If we kick at it, it can potentially consume every ounce of energy we have. 

What Do You See?

As we drove home from the graduation, we noticed the beautiful rock formations that mark the entrance to our little town. The sun was shining just right and its rays defined the rugged beauty of the rocks in a way that I don't recall ever seeing before. Stacy and I noticed it at the same moment and said, "look at that". 

I immediately thought of the numerous times I have driven through that beautiful entry without seeing its beauty. It is always there. I simply must look to see it. Sometimes, I am too busy to look and so I miss the show.

The same is true of life. The beauty is always there, we just have to look at it. When we do, a flood of happiness rolls over our life. 

Which way are you looking?

Do you see the beauty in your life, or are you being consumed by its trials?

Do you know how to be happy in the midst of adversity?

Happiness is a simple goal. It is waiting for you to take hold of it. I dare you to see things differently. Look around and see the shine that happiness puts on life. You will be surprised at how bright it is, when we live in that light.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548