I See Me

This morning, during a meditative moment, I pondered some instructions on how to live a balanced and happy life. I saw a few gaps in my own personal behavior and began to contemplate how I might grow beyond these personal stoppers.

As I thought about each item, the faces of the people I described at the beginning of this post entered my mind. I saw that the things that are bothering me about them are actually things that are bothering me about me. My behavior, in many ways parallels their behavior. The circumstances are different, but the actions are very similar.

As I allowed myself to dig deeper, I began to see an even bigger sin. The image of the "judgmental" me stood before my eyes and I witnessed the pain that I am causing others. Instead of comforting them while they were in need of comfort, I judged them. My words did not condemn them, but my silent actions added to their sorrow.

Convicted, I sat marveling at how easy it is to project my own sins upon others. The rancor I feel at their behavior is actually a release from my own disappointment. Judging and condemning someone else for some reason, makes me feel free from my own fault. They become the worst side of me, and I somehow eliminate my own guilt.

Moving Forward

The purpose of my life is to help others become their best. There is work for me to do so that I may fulfill that vision. The growth opportunity now standing before me is one of letting go. I constantly say that life is not about what we do, it is about what we do about what we do. My behavior has been inconsistent with that belief. I have held on to the past, instead of allowing the people in my life the freedom and opportunity to move forward. This grip on what happened, will continually prevent me from moving forward. These questions helped me refocus my efforts.

What do I really want for my friends?

Am I comforting them in the moments when they need comfort?

In what way can I support them now?

Am I willing to forgive myself and move forward?

I finished my morning meditation knowing that some of the judgement remained with me. I know that awareness is only the beginning and that I have work to do now to let go. As I let go of some these feelings, my own imperfections stare me in the face. It is easy to feel angry with myself, and guilty for behaving in such a way. These feelings don't last long because I willingly forgive myself and consciously decide to be better. As I look at the previous me, I feel grateful for the lessons learned. The sun is shining and I can see a glimpse of the future me. This gives me the hope and the faith I need to move my feet. See you on path.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

LOST

We hiked up the south face of the mountain. This is the side that gets the most afternoon sun. We were warm and the trail avoided most of the remaining patches of snow.

The trip down was a different story. We descended the north face and discovered some extremely different circumstances. It was a challenge. In many places, the snow was up to our waist lines and the trail was difficult to discern.

At one point, we completely lost the trail. Our natural feeling was to head down, but something inside of me kept telling me to stay high on the mountain, even though heading down, looked like the right idea. As I traversed the mountain pondering our next step, I kept thinking how easy it would be to just head down, but the feeling of finding higher ground kept gnawing on me.

I decided to pull out my map and study the trail and topographic lines. My hope was to orient myself on the mountain so I could begin to see where the trail should be. As I studied the map, I could see that if we headed down in the direction that looked like the path of least resistance, we would walk our way right into some significant cliffs which would force us to return up a steep and dangerous snow covered trail. 

Getting Back On Course

I oriented myself on the mountain and it immediately became clear that the trail was definitely above us. I had no way of knowing for sure, but I thought it was as few as 50 yards and as much as 500 yards above our current position.

We started walking up the slope. It was very difficult. Within a few moments, I thought I heard a marching band, and then realized it was the beating of my heart. We had only gone about 20 feet and I was exhausted. I really considered the thought of giving up and dying on the trail. I didn't think I could make it 50 yards and 500 yards would have been impossible. Pure will to survive kept me moving.

Fortunately, we found the trail, and it was only about 40 feet up from our original position. The sight of the trail enlivened our spirits, and we became focused on making sure that we did not lose it again. The remainder or our hike through the snow pack, challenged us as much mentally as it did physically, and it was quite a relief to finally make it below the snow line.

Gaining Perspective

The last couple of days have given me the opportunity to put this experience into perspective. Life is full of moments when we are unable to discern the trail. We sometimes think that if we just keep moving forward we will find the trail again. We are often in such a hurry to get there, that we just launch into whatever lies ahead with a belief that speed is our friend. Direction is more important than speed and we need to be certain that we are heading in the right direction.

The smallest movements in the wrong direction can create the harmful circumstances. Correcting the course is a very difficult proposition and can prove to be more than we are able to bear. This is why we need to be conscious about our movements and regularly check them against our general plan.

Can you see the trail to your success?

Our your actions taking you toward or away from the safest and most reliable path?

Do you have a map that you can use to orient yourself when you find yourself off track?

Over the course of the many years of my work, I have discovered that even the most successful people at times find themselves off track and unaligned with their goals. They realize the need to stop and look around and gain perspective. I enjoy helping them do that. Today, I challenge you to notice where you are and see what steps you need to take to sharpen your focus. Don't be afraid to recalibrate, it may seem like more work at the time, but your actions to stay on course will save you from arriving at the cliffs of insanity.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

As individuals advance in senior leadership roles, developmental feedback is often withheld, and many leaders think that because they are not getting it, they don't need it. Consequently, many leaders hit a plateau in their own personal and professional development. In effect, they stop growing.

Leaders Need Feedback

In the early stages of their careers, many successful leaders were given the guidance and support they needed to become their best. They were regularly monitored, coached and mentored, but as they moved up the ladder of success, the sources of honest and useful feedback became more difficult to find. After a certain point, they were left to their own devices to figure things out.

Their success, and the lack of critical feedback, usually creates a false sense of wellbeing, which can result in missing the signs that indicate the need for growth and development. By the time negative perceptions come to light, personal and professional reputations may have already suffered significant consequences.

Getting The Help You Need

Even the most outstanding leaders sometimes find themselves off track and unaligned with their most important values. Intelligent leaders understand this, and realize that they must actively seek the information they need to continually develop their individual and professional behaviors. They are not afraid of feedback. In fact, they crave it. They use this information to discover blind spots and close the gaps between their current leadership style and the leader they desire to become.

When was the last time you had a leadership check-up?

How do you discover your leadership blind spots?

Is your leadership style comfortable? Does it reflect who you really are?

The world is constantly changing, and leaders need to be able to adapt their personal and professional styles accordingly. No matter how talented and successful you are, you will make mistakes and develop bad habits. As you progress in your career, some behaviors that once worked, will no longer be effective. Dr. Thorn's Leadership Advantage™ is a process that is specifically designed to help you see things as they really are. Are you ready to grow?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

A good friend of mine is feeling very discouraged. I think it is safe to say that he is on the brink of depression. This is unusual behavior and I am somewhat alarmed. 

The cause of this downward spiral is the fact that six months ago he lost his job. He handled it very well at first. He had been with the company for a very long time and they treated him very kindly and gave him a very nice termination package. He felt like the separation was fair and viewed as a mere inconvenience. He believed he would find a better job before the severance benefits ran out.

The Future Looked So Bright

He began his search for new employment by taking a couple of weeks off. It had been a while since he enjoyed sitting around and doing nothing so that is what he did. Following two weeks of doing nothing, he decided that there was no hurry and chose to complete a few projects around the house that he hadn't had time to do before.

Before he knew it, six weeks of his six month cushion were spent. It was at that point that he began scouring the internet looking for employment opportunities in his area. He submitted a few resumes and waited for phone calls that never came. When we last spoke, he was in a stupor. He couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. He believed he had a positive mental attitude, but he was discovering that PMA was not enough.

Move Your Feet

It never is. Certainly, it is one of the keys to success, but it will not get us very far by itself. Success requires us to move our feet in the direction of our dreams. Thinking about it, is the first step to doing it, but doing it requires action.

Movement, is the critical activity. We must take that first step and then frequently assess our progress to make sure we are heading in the right direction. When we fail to do that, we fail to get what we want. 

I like to use this phrase that I learned from Mike Ferry to keep me headed in the right direction. See if you can follow me on this one: "if you should be doing these things, but you are doing those things, and you know you should be doing these things, then why do you spend your time doing those things?" This question helps me to stop doing the things that keep me from getting what I want. 

Dead of Alive

Several years ago, I was experiencing some hard times of my own. An employee had embezzled a large amount of money from our firm which resulted in a law suit by one of our client's. It was a dark time and I really hated going to work. When I was there, I felt angry. I also felt defeated. Guess how I felt when I got home. You got it, angry and defeated. Life was miserable.

My friends did their best to encourage me, but nothing really worked. I just was in a funk and I was not going to get out of it very easily.

One day, as I sat in my office plotting how I could make these problems go away, I realized that I would most likely have to live with the consequences for a very long time. I thought about how that would affect me, and then this thought came into my mind: "One year from today, I will either be dead or alive." I realized that I had no control over that fact. This realization helped me also realize that I could not change those difficult circumstances, what had happened, had happened. But there was something over which I had control. I could choose how I wanted to feel. I decided in that moment to add a very courageous ending to my declaration of life or death. I amended it to state: "One year from now, I will either be dead or alive, but I will be happy."

My choice to be happy produced a near immediate result. I suddenly felt empowered to move forward. For the first time, I saw the direction I needed to be heading. It took me a several months, but I eventually resolved all of these issues and exited that period of great sadness. Everything I did to grow out of that problem can be directly related to that defining moment when I decided to be happy. It changed my course for good.

Which direction are you headed?

What is your secret to staying on track?

How can you help others find their way?

Happiness alludes many of us when we forget to put things in perspective. I am certain that having a positive mental attitude is very valuable, but if you want to get where you want to get, then you gotta learn how to think right. That means that you must begin to see your thinking as an active process and move your feet. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

It feels good to voluntarily get the most out of what we have, but when it is constantly forced upon us, we can begin to feel taxed beyond our individual abilities. Sometimes that feeling of fatigue leads to doubt and fear, and those emotions can cause us to wonder if we will ever see a return to prosperity.

Life Is Good!

I believe that we will, so I live with that expectation. I refuse to give in to the shadows that these challenging times evoke. Instead, I walk in faith. I admit, that it is not always easy to do, but I just keep believing that things are going to be better soon, and act as if they will. Consequently, I am often surrounded with lots of movement in the positive direction.

Whenever I begin to feel discouraged, I pause and take inventory of the things that encourage me. All I really need to do, is to ask myself one simple question, "What encourages me?"

When I know what encourages me, I can use those experiences to bring me back to a positive outlook, even when I am faced with a discouraging situation. It is easy to get sucked in to those circumstances,  so I do not face the day without arming myself with this mindset.

I may not ever be able to eliminate everything that discourages me, but I can choose the way I will respond to the dark moments I face. A second question prepares me to shine. I simply ask, – "What will I do when I am faced with discouragement?" Knowing the answer to that question keeps me acting instead of just reacting in the moment. 

We Are In This Together

We don't always understand the fact that everyone, at one point or another, faces a discouraging moment. Sometimes we think that we are the only ones, and that we are doomed for failure. We must always remember that successful people are not people without problems; they are simply people who have learned to see beyond their problems. You and I can do the same thing.

Please take some time to ponder these two questions:

What encourages me?

What will I do when I am faced with discouragement?

Go ahead, allow yourself a few moments to consider all of the things that light up your world, then focus the rest of your day on walking in that light.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Wise Counsel

In many ways, I am a futurist. This means that I spend a lot of time considering the impact of the moves I make today, and how they will affect and shape my long term results. I want to make sure that the things I do today, lead me to become the best future me that I can become. My willingness to subordinate short term pleasure for long term benefit continues to define my actions.

As I looked toward the future, I learned to identify many potential road blocks before they actually impeded my path. This gave me time to speak about these challenges with people who had already managed to move beyond them. I became adept at finding people who were experts in the things that I did not understand and enrolling them to help accelerate my progress. This helped me avoid many pitfalls.

Consequently, I received a lot of very wise counsel along the way. Some advice was more difficult to receive than others as it related to personal changes that I would need to make in order to master the point. I wasn't always willing to do that because even though I knew I needed help, I still thought I was pretty sharp. My self worth sometimes caused me to be defensive and prevented me from becoming better. 

Powerful Lesson

One wise friend taught me a very important concept that I now use nearly every day in my role of trusted advisor. As we were discussing an important concept, he noticed that I was beginning to feel defensive. He immediately changed the topic to something that we both strongly agreed was important and necessary. 

After we had come together on that topic he said, "Andrew, you invited me here to give you counsel, but you are the final decision maker. This means that you can accept or reject my counsel at any time. You can use all of it, part of it, or none of it. I understand my role, and I will not be upset if you decide to move in another direction. The only promise I would like you to make with me is that you will listen and consider the counsel I am giving. Once you have demonstrated that, I will leave you alone to make your decision." Then he went back to the difficult topic concept and began explaining his concerns.

I left the meeting with greater trust and respect than I previously held for this individual. He taught me how to engage in difficult conversations without making a person feel like they were less of a person. I attribute my ability to say things that very few people can say without making the other feel defensive or attacked to that magic moment. It enforced my belief that I can deliver the difficult message while demonstrating love and care for the other.

His permission to listen without any obligation to change actually made it possible for me to listen and grow without feeling threatened. It gave me the courage to listen to others, even when they did not give me the same permission. I felt comfortable enough to hear every message without feeling the need to change. Consequently, my personal growth was accelerated.

Are you willing to listen and consider the ideas of others without judging them?

Do you receive feedback as a gift, or do you see it as a threat?

Who in your circle of influence can help accelerate your growth?

Understanding the challenges that I may face in the future allows me to live in this moment on purpose. In order to truly understand and reach our future, we need the help of trusted advisors who can guide us around and away from the threats that might derail us. This kind of help is all around. You just gotta be willing to ask for it. Don't deny yourself this gift. Do it today!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I googled the phrase "definition of leadership" this morning and was rewarded with 2.8 million hits. No one has time to read them all, but I am confident that if we did, we would find more differences in those definitions than we would find similarities. I am ok with multiple definitions because it truly is a subjective quality. I believe however, that we can define a common direction that leadership must be tracking in order for it to be considered effective.

The Primary Purpose

Leadership is about making things better. If you are being led by someone who is not making things better then you may want to consider other possibilities. If you a leading others without making things better, then you should resign your post so that somebody who will, is at the lead.

There are many challenges today and too many leaders are using that as an excuse to not make things better. I hear them say things like, "when the economy turns around, we will be able to make things better" and "What can I do? There are so many limits and restrictions on us that I can't make things better."

These are great excuses but real leaders would never use them. Real leaders don't talk about what they can't do. They understand the boundaries and limits they face and instead of fighting them, they learn to work within them. 

Instead of declaring what they can't do, they focus all of their energy on what they can do. This means that they are always using their strengths to make things better. Can you see the difference? They know the restrictions they face are real, and that they must be considered, but they also know that success is possible by learning to use what they have.

The A-Team Mentality

One of my favorite fictional leaders is Hannibal Smith. His team is always reminding him of the limits that they are facing but his mind is always somewhere else. Because he sees things differently he is able to see how he can use those limits to his advantage. He uses his creativity to set the team in motion. They don't always understand his plan, but they trust him enough to know that his ideas work. At the end of every show, he confidently states "I love it when a plan comes together". The odds were always against him, but he was willing to use what he had to make things better.

That's the kind of leader I want to be, and it's the kind of leader I like to follow. Leaders don't have all the answers, and there are times when they face serious doubts, but they know that if they use their strengths, then they will eventually get the results they are seeking.

Discovering Your Leadership Voice

"I can't", or "we can't" are two phrases that seriously affect our leadership abilities. That is because they effectively end any and all creative conversations before they even begin. The more we say it, the less we see possibility. I dare you to focus your efforts on what you can do instead of what you can't do.

Are you free to work within the boundaries you face?

Do you take the time understand what you can do?

Are you confident enough to trust your own leadership voice?

You are the key. If you do not trust your leadership voice and style, no one will. All it really takes is eliminating two simple words from your vocabulary – "I can't". I dare you to do it.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Results vs. Process

As I look, I realize that this is a common characteristic shared by many leaders. Sometimes, we get stuck on the result and we forget about the process required to create that result. We often get the result we want, but we don't always notice the cost. This is because we are persistent, focused and determined to reach that goal, no matter what the cost. 

Most leaders are able to see from point A to point Z. They are able to jump ahead and skip steps. The don't concern themselves with the "in between" steps, because they know they will figure out how to deal with it when they get there. In stead, they focus on the goal and they keep their eye focused on it until they get there.

Unfortunately, not everyone is programed that way. This behavior can actually be quite annoying to those who are following. Sometimes they only see the goal through the vision that the leader communicates. They cannot see the actual goal, instead they can only see what stands in the way of getting to it. 

The Road Builders

This perspective should not be criticized. Without it, the leader wouldn't get very far. It is vital to building the roads that are needed to make it to the top. The people who see things in this light make the journey possible. 

They are not always motivated by the result. In stead, it is the process that drives them. They do not need to stand on the top and look from point A to point Z. They do the work the connects the other steps that are needed. This is where they find their joy.

Speaking Both Languages

It took me a long time to understand the difference between these two perspectives. I was all about the results and I could not feel good when I was in process mode. 

The change came when I stopped on the top of mountain that I had hiked and looked out. It had taken me all day to get there, but after a few moments I was heading back down the hill. On my way down, a phrase I had heard finally made sense. The joy was in the journey and not standing on the top. The time on the top was only momentary, the thrill was in getting there.

It was then that I realized the beauty of process. It changed me for a while. I got so caught up in the process that I forgot about the results. It didn't take me long though to discover that forgetting about the results doesn't work either.

Leaders need to understand both process and results. They will normally prefer one or the other, but they must speak both languages. Once they figure out what their preference is, they need to surround themselves with other leaders who are strong in the other.

What is your preference?

Are you able to communicate both the vision (results) and the journey (process) to those who follow you?

Who can help you fill in the gaps?

The vision and the journey are both critical paths to success. It is not necessary for the Leader to be responsible for both. The best Leaders know their limitations and find other leaders to lead the areas that are out of their preference zones. Who are you surrounding yourself with?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Quite Spots

I am grateful to enjoy two or three quiet spots. It is great to get away to think about things so that I can put them in proper perspective. 

There are many noisy spots that I regularly enjoy, and they also give me energy, but the energy I get while sitting in one of my quiet spots is different. The opportunity to reflect and ponder the events of a day, a week or a month fills me with a sense of renewal and a love for life. The time I spend in these quiet spots are a just a few small moments, but they really do fill me up. 

Time Away

Some of my quiet spots are indoors and some are outdoors. It really doesn't matter where they are, and I know that different people will find them in different places. The important thing is to find a couple of places to stand and think openly – even talk openly at times about our plans and dreams.

We need this space to listen to our own voice. We really don't do that enough. We must not be afraid to hear it, and we must not allow others to drown it out. Our voice is the most important voice and sometimes the cares of the day render it difficult to hear. That is why we need this time away.

Some people call this meditation – I call it quiet time. I need it to keep me fresh. 

Do you have a quiet spot?

How often do you get there?

Are you listening to the voice within you?

You are the author of your life. If you want it to be what you want it to be, then you must take time to listen to the story you are writing. Don't be afraid of it. Don't worry that you will do it wrong. Listen to that voice and move forward. The first step may always seem difficult, but it is the one that sets your soul free.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Rise and Shine

I must admit, that this is not my normal behavior. My alarm is in the other room, because it forces me to get up and turn it off. There is no chance to hit the snooze button – I must get up. I purposely put it in the other room, because there are many days when I would just rather roll over and stay in bed.

Today, I awoke with abnormal energy. It made my morning routine enjoyable and as a result I felt more aligned with my perfect day. I found myself wishing that I would wake up every day with this same kind of energy and so I naturally began to ask myself questions about what made this day different. I wanted to know why it was that I awoke with so much energy.

The Difference Maker

As I pondered this thought, I quickly realized that it really had nothing to do with what was going on for me today, but everything to do with what I did yesterday. Yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about the week and the way I wanted to spend my time. I knew there were a lot of activities to choose from and so I carefully planned the ones that would most likely accelerate my plan for growing and developing my business.

There were some tough choices as I realized that I could not do everything. After I had looked at the week, I began to look at each day. I felt an excitement building within me as I thought about them. I knew that I was going to have a good week and I went to bed thinking about all of the fun that I would have this week. 

I actually had a hard time falling asleep. I kept thinking about what I would be doing and how I would be reaching for my purpose in so many different ways.

As I thought about those feelings today, I realized that the days in which I find myself struggling, are usually the days that I face without any thought for my long term desires. They are the days that happen to me, instead of me making them happen. They are the days when I allow the internet to be a distraction instead of a tool for success. On days like today, I don't have time for that, because I am anxiously engaged in many great causes.

Sticking To A Plan

The difference is in the planning. It is what creates the excitement for the day, or at least it should. If it doesn't, then I would say you are planning the wrong things.

How serious are you planning your day?

Do you make the day, or does the day make you?

Do you allow yourself to be free within your plan?

I read a quote one time that wished that people would every once in a while spend as much time planning their life as they do their two-week vacation. I think most of us dream about planning our life, but get distracted when we find out how much work it actually takes. Vacation planning happens once or twice a year for most of us, but life planning must be done daily. It only takes a small amount of time, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes, but those few minutes make the difference. I invite you to take some time today and plan your exciting life. No one is going to it for you, so make it happen.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-348

The confusion on my body was tremendous. One day I wore long sleeves and felt hot and the next day I wore short sleeves and nearly froze. At the beginning of the week we took the winter quilt off of our bed because it was now too warm, only to freeze all night long when we went to bed. We couldn't keep up with the weather, it changed too quickly.

Inconsistent Messages

This inconsistent weather pattern got me thinking again. Obviously, I am a psychologist and not a meteorologist, so I began to think about inconsistent leaders who show up one day with one message and the next day with a very different one. I also thought about the many different organizations that created the program of the month and then let it die without every following up. The people learned to just sit back and do nothing, because they knew the weather would change soon. These pattern changes are every bit as frustrating as the changes in weather we experienced this week.

For whatever reason, these leaders and organizations thought they could regularly change the message without creating any impact. Many of them treated growth and development as an event instead of process. They thought the weather of today would actually define the year. It didn't and it never will. Leadership, like weather is established over time.

Weather Patterns

When summer finally arrives, I will have forgotten this week. That is because the real consistency is that I am going to have weather everyday. This week was out of whack, but normally the weather trends from cooler to warmer or warmer to cooler, depending on the season we are entering.

This events of this week were really not all that abnormal. It actually happens every time we are changing seasons, which again correlates very well with the process we face in organizations. The key is to stay focused on the process and to make sure that we stick with it.

I can't imaging abandoning life in an uncontrolled climate just because I don't like the weather. I am not going to build myself a sophisticated climate control chamber so that I can live the rest of my days without the confusion my body felt this week. I understand that the sporadic weather is part of life. It sounds silly just to write it.

But, there are a lot of organizations that throw their vision on the junk pile before they ever have a chance to establish or stabilize it. If it was well thought out, then they should stick with it and allow the impact to take effect.

What do you do when the weather changes in your organization?

Do you move forward and and embrace what may work?

How can you help those around you adjust to changes?

Your job, whether you are a leader or a follower, is to positively move the plan forward. You must not engage in complaining about what is not working. I am not saying that you have no voice, I am simply saying that you must be a positive voice. If something is not working, then be a part of the solution. Anybody can complain, but those who know how to add value make the suggestions that will help create success.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Filter

The summer rehabilitation begins with the addition of chemicals and steady filtering. Swimming pools use a cleaning system that pumps water through a filter and back into the pool. The filter traps the impurities from the water and allows the treated water to move back into the pool. The dirt and grime from the pool stays in the filter, but the filter eventually gets clogged with all the dirt and then it must be cleaned.

When the filter is dirty, the cleaning system does not work as efficiently. It actually must work harder to pump the water through it and so it loses its ability clean it in a timely manner. If the filter is not cleaned, it doesn't really matter how long you run the pump. It simply does not work. If you want a clean pool, you must have a clean filtration system.

Under normal operating conditions, the filter must be cleaned three or four times a year. Because we let the pool get so dirty over the winter, we are cleaning it daily. It is amazing to see how quickly it becomes clogged. Our pump is running 24 hours a day right now. The only time we turn it off is when we are cleaning the filter. The water, despite nearly a week of filtering, still looks unpleasant, but we are making progress.

What We Take In

Yesterday, as I was cleaning the filter, I though about my own filtering system. Today, we need to be much more vigilant then we needed to be 20 years ago. Then, we had policies and guidelines in place that filtered information for us. Today the internet and the relaxation of broadcasting standards means that we really operate most of the time without any other filter than our own.

I like the freedom that we have, but I understand the cost too. Our pool of information is corrupt and dirty. but that fact is not the real problem. The problem is that many of us are not maintaining our own reservoirs. We allow anything and everything to jump into it and the filth that now comes so easily into our lives is clogging our personal filters. They are struggling to keep up, but they are not doing the job. 

The use of pornography is at an all time high, and it is now as popular or more popular among women as it is men. We can barely escape its influence. It is in the popular shows, and now it is even in most commercials. 

Its impact is corrupting our leaders in politics, entertainment, athletics and business. None of them seem to be happy when we discover that they are caught in this trap. Each of them fight to get back what they had, a clean bill of living. Of course, this is not the only influence that is sullying our living pools, but it is one of the major ones. For many of us, it is time to clean the filter, and it will need to be cleansed many times before we can eliminate all of the filth from the information pool. 

Raise the Bar

From the windows of our home, we barely noticed the dirt in the pool. It wasn't until we had a couple of warm days that it began to really look bad. If we had turned on our filter system a week earlier, and added some chemicals, it would have become crystal clear much more quickly. I am often amazed at how much energy we spend thinking and worrying about our water supplies and how little we spend thinking and worrying about our information supplies. 

My invitation for you today is to look inward and begin to clean up. Yes, it is much more difficult to escape the dirt today, so I dare you to be different. I dare you to step out of the normal world and into a cleaner way of living. I know it won't be easy, but you can do it. It will make you a better leader, and a better person.

Is your filter on?

Are you maintaining it regularly so that you can keep your reservoirs clean?

Are you will do what it takes to only allow clean water in?

I believe that when we strive to live by pure and virtuous principles we are more likely to be happy. These filters provide the safety we need to really enjoy life. None of my children were willing to jump into the dirty pool. We must not be willing to live in a dirty world either.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

Our conversation touched on both the personal and the professional levels. He openly shared his strategies for creating harmony between his life and leadership responsibilities. Time passed quickly, and before I knew it our lunch was over. He didn't linger. He looked at his watch and said, "we need to get back to work", and began collecting his things to leave.

Most 72 year old men, might be leisurely passing through life. My new friend looks like he might be 52, and it is very clear that he is anxiously engaged in happy and well balanced living. It was also very clear that he is an extraordinary leader and that his leadership style is something that he spent a lot of time developing over the course of his career. Even more amazing is the fact that he continues to work at. I enjoyed our time together.

The Winds Of Change

The financial industry is an industry that is constantly changing. During our lunch conversation, I lost track of how many mergers and acquisitions my friend had experienced. He spoke of several in great detail, and others he mentioned as footnotes.

We spent a lot of time talking about a particular merger because the leadership philosophy of the two organizations was radically different. Of course the merger was a failure and ultimately destroyed the trust of many of the organization's customers and clients.

I marveled at the difference in leadership styles, and wondered how anybody could have believed that the two organization's would be a good match.

The organization that was being acquired was led by a man who believed that the number one goal was to make its people better. The acquiring organization was led by a man who believed that it should win at all costs. When the two organizations merged, the acquiring organization's leader was retained, the leader from the acquired organization was dismissed and the rest is history.

Visual Alignment

There may be a place for both of these strategies in different locations, but combining the two was a major blunder. The people from the different cultures never figured out how to co-exist and as a result, the best people from both organizations left, leaving only the mediocre and the challenged behind to build the new company.

This is why most mergers fail. Most of the strategy and vision making sessions are focused on the financial and competitive analysis. Very little time is spent examining the cultures and thinking about how they will merge, or even if they will merge. Those in charge, for some reason believe, that any culture can be blended with another. They just think it takes time, and so they do little to really identify whether or not there is a fit. They somehow think they can worry about that after the two organizations have been brought together. 

There may be a great match between technology, products, customer bases and market share, but none of those matter if the cultures are not aligned. The thriving organization must have a unified culture, or else it will cease to thrive. I am surprised that the more attention is not applied to the people side, usually only token words are spoken and then the people are left to figure it out for themselves.

Your Duty

I am speaking the truth about why organization mergers often fail, but that does not take you off the hook. In fact, what it really does is make you even more responsible for what is going on. You are a leader. Your role is to lead. Sometimes, leaders encounter difficult situations. The good ones get by, the great ones lead the organization and its people to new levels.

You may find yourself in the middle of a difficult merger right now. This is your opportunity to lead. Culture problems are resolved in the middle of the organization. The first thing leaders must do is to bring the new team together. They immediately eliminate all thought and talk of the old ways and rally the people around the new ways. They don't allow people to say, this is how we use to do it over here, or this is how we do it here. They bring people together and discover the new rules.

Are you in the middle of this right now?

What are you doing to bring the organization together?

What is it that will bring life to your new enterprise?

Don't sit on the side lines or bail out. Get involved and make a difference. Good jobs are hard come by right now and good companies are actually made by you. You have a role to play. Are you willing to take your place in leading your organization into its future?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I have worked in the organization for a while, and I know many of the people that were invited. The company used an internet invite, so those of us attending know who will be attending today. We also know who will not be attending, at least some of them. Some people actually hit the decline button and then gave an excuse why they could not make it. Most said, the meeting was either too far away, or that it was happening too early in the morning.

As I reviewed the list of declines, I could not help but notice that the people not coming, are the very people that vociferously complain about the state of the organization. I found it interesting to note that, when given the opportunity to raise their voice in a positive and constructive way, they found the time and location to be inconvenient for them.

Focus On What Is Working

I realize that there are many challenges in today's business environment. It is difficult to keep a job right now, let alone find one. For this reason, I am surprised that more people are not attending today. Those that complain must think that the organization and its leaders have all the answers and that they are deliberately making things rough on everybody else. 

There are actually very few answers right now. Things are changing so rapidly. One day, it feels like recovery. The next day, it feels like things are slipping backward again. Everyday, there are things that are working, and that is where I think our focus should be.

I am thankful that today's meeting will not focus on the problems. Instead, our focus will be on identifying what is working, and then discovering how we can do more of that. These are the meetings that bring energy. This is how we get to the core strengths of the organization and the individuals involved. This is how we learn to connect those strengths and then extend them outward into the world.

We Go Where We Look

The most amazing thing happens to companies who take this approach. They actually create better results. Because they are focused on the positive and doing something to create more of it, they actually do create more positive experiences. Because their people are invited to be involved, they actually feel more engaged and valued by the organization.

Problems don't disappear, they just become less noticeable because the energy of the organization is focused on doing more of what is working. That leaves less time to spend on the problems. The things that are working actually become focused in the problem areas and, lo and behold, the problems resolve. It is a magical approach, and it works.

Which direction is your organization heading?

Are you focused on the problems or the things that are working?

What can you today to bring your strengths in focus?

You will move in the direction you are looking. The classic problem solving methodology taught in most business schools is designed to continually search for problems. Consequently, those who employ it find more and more problems. The funny thing is, finding those problems, rarely leads to the kind of success that the organizations that focus on what is working enjoy. 

It's your choice. Where are you going to look?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

We are capable of becoming so much more than we generally allow ourselves to become. The words "I can't" inhibit our ability to grow. My friend Joey Cordano's father always said "the Can'ts live across the street". He never wanted us to say it, no matter what the circumstances were. This statement fostered a resolve in me to figure things out.

I Presently Struggle With

A couple of years ago, I started a video workout series called P90x. It is very challenging, even though it is based on some of the most fundamental exercises. In essence, it is a push-up, pull-up and sit-up conglomeration. 

I remember the difficulty I faced when I attempted my first set of pull-ups. I was physically unable to do even one, without some form of assistance. It was discouraging to watch the people on the video do 15 to 20 with what looked like very little effort. I wanted to give up, but Tony Horton, the host of the series exhorted me to continue. In one scene he stares into the camera and says, "quit telling yourself you can't do this. Change your language and say, 'I presently struggle with', and you will be surprised to see what happens."

I believed him and I stuck with it. 45 days later, I was only able to do three pull-ups without being assisted, but then something magical happened. Not only did I develop strength, but I also developed understanding. It was like a light went on one day, and I found myself no longer struggling with pull-ups. Because I understood how to do them, I often did them effortlessly and almost always pushed my self to do more than my previous best.

Persistance Produces Power

I majored in English in my undergrad days and became a fan of the great Ralph Waldo Emerson. The resolve I employed to become "pull-up boy" reminded me of one of my favorite Emerson quotes. He said:

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.

Can you see the wisdom in that quote. You and I will always be faced with difficult challenges. We can choose to say "I can't", or we can do our best, and forget the rest. For some reason, most of us naturally seek the path of least resistance. That path never leads us to our best. Instead, it robs us of our true potential. There are no short cuts to greatness. We must willing to do that which challenges us and stretches us. 

What are you presently struggling with?

Do you know what success in that area looks like?

Are you willing to stick with it until you master the flow of success?

"I can". Two simple words that make all the difference in our lives. They don't just make a difference in what we accomplish, they also make a difference in how we feel when we are challenged and who we eventually become. The "Can'ts" live across the street from me. Which side of the street do you live on?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I began writing in my first journal when I was 13 years old. Over the past thirty years, I have filled several volumes. During that time, my writing habits have become more and more regular. It is fun to look back and to see the consistencies and inconsistencies. Sometimes, I wrote every day for three months and then saw a three month gap in between my next entry. Sometimes, a whole year even passed between entries.  

Breaking The Pattern

This year, I made a commitment to myself, that I would write every day. There have been days when I was very tired, but I always managed to write a few sentences, if not a whole page, about my thoughts and feelings. That is until this past Saturday. At the end of that day, I found myself incredibly tired. I had no energy or desire to lift the pen, so I broke my commitment to myself and went to bed without writing.

In a moment my streak was interrupted. When I woke up Sunday morning I was kind of upset that I had allowed this to happen, but as the day went on, I discovered myself feeling tired again and telling myself that it would be ok to skip another day. At the end of the day, I had to force myself to add an entry.

Quitting Is Easy 

As I wrote, I contemplated how easy it is to quit something. We can miss one day and be done. I then contrasted that with how hard it is to start something. There are always aches and pains that come in the beginning. It takes a while to build up the strength to tolerate the new stresses and challenges that come with it. The short term pain eventually gives way to the long term benefits, but that is hard to see.

There is no short term pain in quitting. In fact, it often feels good to get away and rest from our consistent struggles. It is the long term pain that can haunt us, because it comes upon us when we are unable to do anything about it. The lack of short term pain often lulls us into believing that we can pick things back up on some other day, but that usually never happens. Instead, many find themselves wishing they could turn the clock back and start again.

Today Is Your Day!

I am reminded again of something my dad regularly said to me. It inspires me to live my life in alignment with my values. Value centered living is never easy, but it yields the greatest joy in life. 

I know these are not his original words, and there are many who claim to have said it first. But I heard if first from him, so I am attributing it to him. here is what he said:

Yesterday, is a cancelled check. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the only cash you have, spend it wisely.

That quote reminds me to live and love today. It reminds me that I must make sure that I am exchanging the value of this day for something more valuable. Because every day could be my last, I like to make sure that I am living each day on purpose. That doesn't mean that I can live without care or concern. It means that I must have extra care and concern.

This thought has made a major difference in my journal writing experiences. It motivates me to write about what I am feeling instead of what I am doing. It helps me take the time to see what I thought about the day and how it impacted my life instead of just capturing a diary of my schedule. That is what makes it meaningful to me, and will make it meaningful to my posterity. I am glad I got back on track quickly.

How are you spending your time?

Is that aligned with what you value?

What must you do today to grow?

Don't wait for tomorrow. It may never come. Go ahead and tell those you love that you love them today. Make sure you get full value for the time you invest. Step up and into your legacy.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

Rule # 1 For Making A Miracle

Rule # 1 is actually very simple: You can not make a miracle for yourself. Your efforts as a miracle worker must be focused on the needs of somebody else. In order to do this, you must be willing to listen to others. That is the only way you can discover their needs, which will help you know what you can do to make the miracle happen. 

Fortunately, this is really not that hard to do. People like to talk, and when we listen to them, we can easily discern what they are not saying when they are saying something. The dislikes that they register almost always reflect what they like or need. Miracle workers hear the negative and focus on the positive efforts that they can contribute to meet the need.

Do You Care Enough To Listen?

There are people around you who are troubled by the very real needs they must meet. They truly do not have the answer. To you, their challenge may seem trivial and very simple to solve. That is why your efforts will be deemer miraculous. You can choose to see it and do something about it, or you can turn away and focus on your own puzzles.

The most amazing thing is that your involvement will probably not cost you anything. It will simply be an opportunity for you to share your strengths – those things that come naturally for you. Considering how much we all love to use our strengths, I am surprised that this does not happen more often.

Here is where the paradigm shift needs to occur. Most of us have been taught that we must use our strengths to promote our own agenda and needs. To be a miracle worker you must be willing to promote the agenda of someone else. You must be willing to set aside your own need and meet the need of the other.

Be The Miracle!

Take a moment consider what the impact would be on the world if we all became miracle workers. There is no request here to give from your lack, I am simply inviting you to give from your abundance.

How would it make you feel to be a miracle worker?

Would you see the world differently?

What impact would it have on your personal energy?

I dare you to be a miracle worker today. Just listen and hear what someone else needs. Allow your personal creativity to color your thoughts and desires. We need you. I promise you, that when you turn the key, the engine will turn on. Go ahead, make someone else's day.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

Because she is so good at what she does, she feels like she does not need to work very hard. Sometimes that is true, at least she gets by, but usually it prevents her from reaching her true potential. We don't know how good she really can be, because she never really tries.

When Good Enough Isn't

This problem is effecting her performance. I am sure she would be surprised to discover how many errors she actually makes. Her personal confidence, and her advanced skill set temporarily masks a lot of her problems. At first glance, everything looks really good, but after a while the fact that she is winging it becomes very noticeable. 

All she really needs to do to fix this problem is to polish her skills. It wouldn't take much effort. She just needs to prepare a little bit more and she would be amazing. 

Her behavior models the old saying, "the enemy of the great is the very good." Her goodness is getting in the way of her greatness. Fortunately, she is beginning to see this problem and we are making progress.

Attributes of Success

My client is experiencing a really common road block for successful people. Many think that because they are better than their closest peer, they don't have to worry, or even they don't have to grow. They think they can relax. This behavior of course is counter-productive and actually leads to a gradual decay in their natural set of skills. 

If you want to be the best at what you do, you must be willing to constantly raise the bar. This means that you must never stop learning and growing. 

Successful people practice more than others. What they do looks easy, and that is because they practice when we aren't looking. They know how to polish their natural talents and use them effectively. They know their limits and their shortcomings, because they have taken the time to understand them. It is not that they are better than unsuccessful people, it is just that they are more willing to do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. They know they must get better every day, so they do not rely on the skills that saved them yesterday. They spend the time developing the ones they will need tomorrow.

Raising Your Bar

I imagine that you feel pretty good about your successes. You should, but I wonder, if you have ever found yourself in the same situation as my client? I know that there has been a time or two when I have. 

Is your good preventing you from becoming great?

How much effort are you investing in becoming your best?

Are you willing to raise the bar?

Don't let your good get in the way of your best. Dare to reach for a new level, no matter what level you are at. It is not about the result, it is about the energy that comes from setting a new standard. Go for it!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The feedback came from an individual who I barely know. We were in the process of developing a relationship and he decided that I was not behaving as a good partner should behave. He let me have it with both barrels in a heated email. Of course, I had my reasons for the way I was acting, but he made it very clear, that those reasons did not matter.

The Truth Hurts

I was convicted. I knew my reasons did not justify my actions. I realized that I did not deal respectfully with this potential partner. I left him hanging and I owed him and apology.

My response to his email was brief:

"Dear Bob, (name has been changed to protect the innocent), I appreciate this feedback and feel bad that I have let you down. I will do my best to improve in the areas you suggest below. I wish you the best of luck in your ventures."

I appreciate the forthrightness of this individual. He gave me a great gift, one that will help me to treat others with the respect we all deserve in the future. Sometimes, it can be very difficult for us to get this kind of feedback, especially when we are working in a senior leadership role. Too many people are either afraid they will hurt our feelings, or else they are intimidated by the position we hold.

That is what made this feedback so rich. Despite its cutting tone, I felt refreshed by its candor, and immediately began using it to make me a better me. 

Don't Get Defensive

The natural response to this type of feedback is to become defensive and to fire off a couple of rounds of our own by naming the shortcomings and errors committed by the other. This never works. All it does is rob from us the opportunity to see things as they really are.

Have you ever responded to one of your critics with your carefully rehearsed defense and heard them say, "oh, now I see, I guess you are right, and I was wrong"? I humbly submit that that will never happen. Our protest only further incites our critic and causes him or her to release even more toxin in our direction. All of the resulting energy expelled by both parties makes it nearly impossible for either one to learn and grow.

The best response is to say "thank you", and then take the time to review it. It doesn't matter if you agree with it or not, your thanks simply means that you are thankful for the opportunity to review it. You can then choose to act or not. Without the feedback, you would never have that choice.

How do you normally respond to the feedback you receive?

Do those closest to you feel like they can tell you the cold hard truth?

Do you take the time to thank those who give you the valuable gift of feedback?

My gain did not come from building this partnership, instead it came from the destruction of it. I am thankful to have gained something. My critic, could have simply cursed me under his breath and went on with his life without ever attempting to help me. I am thankful that he chose to teach me a lesson.

Those closest to us, don't always make the same choice. That is why we must listen to them when they decide to rate our performance. When we resist or defend ourselves against the feedback we receive, they learn to withhold it from us. When that happens, we have exactly zero chances of learning from our mistakes. This is because we either don't know we committed them, or think other people don't know we committed them, so we ultimately do nothing about it. That is not the way I want to live my life. I would rather take my lumps and learn. How about you?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548