This month marks the 21st anniversary of the establishment of my own enterprise. I have learned many amazing things along the way. I learned some lessons the hard way, and other lessons simply validated the way I have always behaved. I am grateful for the many moments that required me to consider and evaluate my way of being.
Wise Counsel
In many ways, I am a futurist. This means that I spend a lot of time considering the impact of the moves I make today, and how they will affect and shape my long term results. I want to make sure that the things I do today, lead me to become the best future me that I can become. My willingness to subordinate short term pleasure for long term benefit continues to define my actions.
As I looked toward the future, I learned to identify many potential road blocks before they actually impeded my path. This gave me time to speak about these challenges with people who had already managed to move beyond them. I became adept at finding people who were experts in the things that I did not understand and enrolling them to help accelerate my progress. This helped me avoid many pitfalls.
Consequently, I received a lot of very wise counsel along the way. Some advice was more difficult to receive than others as it related to personal changes that I would need to make in order to master the point. I wasn't always willing to do that because even though I knew I needed help, I still thought I was pretty sharp. My self worth sometimes caused me to be defensive and prevented me from becoming better.
Powerful Lesson
One wise friend taught me a very important concept that I now use nearly every day in my role of trusted advisor. As we were discussing an important concept, he noticed that I was beginning to feel defensive. He immediately changed the topic to something that we both strongly agreed was important and necessary.
After we had come together on that topic he said, "Andrew, you invited me here to give you counsel, but you are the final decision maker. This means that you can accept or reject my counsel at any time. You can use all of it, part of it, or none of it. I understand my role, and I will not be upset if you decide to move in another direction. The only promise I would like you to make with me is that you will listen and consider the counsel I am giving. Once you have demonstrated that, I will leave you alone to make your decision." Then he went back to the difficult topic concept and began explaining his concerns.
I left the meeting with greater trust and respect than I previously held for this individual. He taught me how to engage in difficult conversations without making a person feel like they were less of a person. I attribute my ability to say things that very few people can say without making the other feel defensive or attacked to that magic moment. It enforced my belief that I can deliver the difficult message while demonstrating love and care for the other.
His permission to listen without any obligation to change actually made it possible for me to listen and grow without feeling threatened. It gave me the courage to listen to others, even when they did not give me the same permission. I felt comfortable enough to hear every message without feeling the need to change. Consequently, my personal growth was accelerated.
Are you willing to listen and consider the ideas of others without judging them?
Do you receive feedback as a gift, or do you see it as a threat?
Who in your circle of influence can help accelerate your growth?
Understanding the challenges that I may face in the future allows me to live in this moment on purpose. In order to truly understand and reach our future, we need the help of trusted advisors who can guide us around and away from the threats that might derail us. This kind of help is all around. You just gotta be willing to ask for it. Don't deny yourself this gift. Do it today!
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