I am in recovery mode. The wedding was a bona fide success. We did a lot of work to make it happen and it became very stressful near the end. Fortunately, thanks to a lot of help from family and friends, we were able to enjoy the moment.
The Big Transition
There was a moment, when I realized what it means to give the bride away. It actually felt very real to me. A lot of different thoughts flooded my mind as I let go of my precious and beloved daughter. I found myself pondering the circle of life and for a brief moment, I was blessed with a vivid vision of what the future me will look like. I enjoyed that moment, but felt the sadness that naturally comes when relationships change.
My thoughts led me to consider the Tibetan Monks who create the Mandala Sand Paintings. They painstakingly lay into place millions of sand particles over a period of months and years to form a beautiful work of art.
The monks begin the work by visualizing what they want the painting to be. Then they draw an outline on a wooden platform and begin to lay the colored sand grains into place. The paintings often include ancient spiritual symbols and family genealogies. The purpose of their work is to re-consecrate the earth and its inhabitants. The monks believe that by drawing attention to the purposes of life, it will help us regain a focus on what really matters.
Giving My Daughter Away
Traditionally the sand paintings are destroyed shortly after their completion. This is done as a metaphor of the impermanence of life.
It was this part of the Tibetan Monk story that captured my attention. In many ways, I felt as if Stacy and I had built an amazing work of art, only to give her away. I know, that this is the order of things, but knowing, did not take away the momentary sting of letting go.
Letting go is like that. It requires us to move forward with faith, hoping that something better will be manifested. I know that I have not lost my daughter. I know that we will enjoy many more magic moments before our time on earth together is over. But. I also know that our relationship will now change.
She is an adult and is now sharing her life with another adult. It is no longer my role to place the beautiful grains of sand in her life. She and Mike are now responsible for creating their own mosaic of life.
The Circle of Life
A friend asked me how I felt on the day after the wedding. I told him that I feel too young to have a married daughter. He said that he also thought I was too young. I realized that the exit door is opening – I am still in the middle of my time, but it will soon be over.
I spent a few moments taking inventory and realigning my life with what really matters. Life, as we know it, ends. Nobody gets out of here alive. Our life's work will be blown away, like the sands of the Tibetan mandalas, as soon as it is complete. Knowing this, helps me make sure that I am totally and completely enjoying the placement of each grain of sand. I'm not wasting any time on putting pieces in place that do not bring me joy. I hope you will join me in doing the same.
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