The Big Transition

There was a moment, when I realized what it means to give the bride away. It actually felt very real to me. A lot of different thoughts flooded my mind as I let go of my precious and beloved daughter. I found myself pondering the circle of life and for a brief moment, I was blessed with a vivid vision of what the future me will look like. I enjoyed that moment, but felt the sadness that naturally comes when relationships change.

My thoughts led me to consider the Tibetan Monks who create the Mandala Sand Paintings. They painstakingly lay into place millions of sand particles over a period of months and years to form a beautiful work of art. 

The monks begin the work by visualizing what they want the painting to be. Then they draw an outline on a wooden platform and begin to lay the colored sand grains into place. The paintings often include ancient spiritual symbols and family genealogies. The purpose of their work is to re-consecrate the earth and its inhabitants. The monks believe that by drawing attention to the purposes of life, it will help us regain a focus on what really matters.

Giving My Daughter Away

Traditionally the sand paintings are destroyed shortly after their completion. This is done as a metaphor of the impermanence of life. 

It was this part of the Tibetan Monk story that captured my attention. In many ways, I felt as if Stacy and I had built an amazing work of art, only to give her away. I know, that this is the order of things, but knowing, did not take away the momentary sting of letting go.

Letting go is like that. It requires us to move forward with faith, hoping that something better will be manifested. I know that I have not lost my daughter. I know that we will enjoy many more magic moments before our time on earth together is over. But. I also know that our relationship will now change.

She is an adult and is now sharing her life with another adult. It is no longer my role to place the beautiful grains of sand in her life. She and Mike are now responsible for creating their own mosaic of life. 

The Circle of Life

A friend asked me how I felt on the day after the wedding. I told him that I feel too young to have a married daughter. He said that he also thought I was too young. I realized that the exit door is opening – I am still in the middle of my time, but it will soon be over.

I spent a few moments taking inventory and realigning my life with what really matters. Life, as we know it, ends. Nobody gets out of here alive. Our life's work will be blown away, like the sands of the Tibetan mandalas, as soon as it is complete. Knowing this, helps me make sure that I am totally and completely enjoying the placement of each grain of sand. I'm not wasting any time on putting pieces in place that do not bring me joy. I hope you will join me in doing the same.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Family Puzzle

We have a backyard pool that we put in about 15 years ago. It still looks pretty good, but some of the tile has fallen off. One of my tasks was to make sure that it got fixed. About 45 tiles had come unglued, so I spent a couple of hours figuring out where to put each one and then began attaching them back in place.

As I installed each tile, I thought about all of the memories in our backyard pool. I remember our very first swim as if it happened yesterday. We had only three kids at the time and as we played in our Jacuzzi, Christina, who was only five years old said, "now we can spend even more time together as a family". 

We have grown since then, and our family continues to change. My tile project helped me to see things as they really are; our greatest joys come from the time we spend with our family. The definition of family changes as we grow. 30 years ago, it was defined by my role as a son and a brother. Now it is defined as a husband and a father. I suppose, I will always occupy all of those roles, but each one takes on more of a focus at different times in our life. Someday, I will add Grandpa, and Great Grandpa to the list of family roles that belong to me. 

This week, my family will gather, one-by-one, to watch my daughter enter into a covenant marriage. They are not coming to see our beautiful home or to taste the wonderful food that we will offer. They are coming to witness the union of two people who are covenanting before God, angels and earthly witnesses that they will be true and faithful to each other.

The Road Ahead

The other day, Mike, my new son-in-law, told me that he had spent a sleepless night thinking about Christina. He told me how much he loved her and how thankful he was to be receiving her as his wife. We spoke for a moment about his current feelings and then we reflected on the state of marriage in the world today.

I reminded him that many people enter into marriages today with the exact same feelings, and they think that they will always feel that way, but for some reason lose that loving feeling. At one time, our society accepted the words "until death do you part", as words that defined the marriage commitment. Now, marriage has become a temporary phase of life. Many are entering into marriage with the thought that if it doesn't work out, they can always get a divorce.

Mike and I then spoke about a much bigger picture. When he marries Christina, he will enter into a covenant that we believe, through their faithfulness to each other, will extend throughout time and all eternity. I asked him, if he would love Christina 500 billion years from now. He of course said yes.

His love for Christina, will not be measured by what he feels today. Instead, it will be measured by how he grows that love, how he honors that love, and how much he makes that love the center of his life. Anything short of that, will make the love that he feels for her today temporary.

Our Period of Waiting Is Over

Tomorrow, the union of Mike and Christina begins. It is an exciting time. They have prepared themselves for this moment. They will now give themselves to each other. Their efforts will now be combined. They will give up many of their individual pursuits for collective goals.

Our family is changing again. We are saying good-bye to some roles and responsibilities and hello to some new ones. It will take some time to adjust, but those adjustments will happen, and we will enjoy the process.

Stacy and I have long looked forward to this day. We have taught our children about the importance of family. Our lives are a testimony of those beliefs and values in action. Our children understand that our greatest successes are found right here at home, and not out in the world. They know that a missing piece in our family is much more significant than a missing piece of tile in the pool. They know that what is about to happen for Mike and Christina is not about the party, the guest list and the gifts. They understand that it about entering into a sacred covenant to be one.

We feel a great sense of satisfaction to know that our daughter learned that message and that she is now forming her own family. She is the first, so we are thankful that she is setting an example for those that will follow. Families are forever. There is a new one forming this week. How incredibly awesome is that!

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

It seems that whenever I feel alone, one of these awesome people calls me on the phone, sends me a message or just stops by to see how I am doing. When I thank them for their presence and thoughtfulness, they simply state how much they love me and remind me of when I was there for them.

Friends That Lift!

I am grateful for so many positive influences in my life. I recognize that our relationships are reciprocal, but it always feels like I am getting more than my share, so I dig deeper.

I am surprised at the number of my friends who are actually clients. Our friendship is the foundation of the work we do. Very few were friends before we began working together, our relationship developed into a friendship because we shared so much life together.

The basis of these friendships is our ability to see each other as people first. That makes it easy to help, to counsel and to share. I never feel like holding back, I just feel like giving more and more.

Are the people you work with your friends?

Do you know who they really are?

Are you willing to stand with them in the work you do?

I once hired a marketing company to figure out why my client's enjoyed working with me. They asked my clients to describe the work that we do together. The most common answer was, "Andrew is my friend." 

At first, I did not know what to do with this information. I thought, "how do I use that to develop new clients?" After awhile, it dawned on me, "clients and consultants get in the way, friends make life a joy." You got a friend in me.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Sports Fantasy

I must admit, that I was very involved in the game. I heard myself screaming at the TV many times, and then wondered why I was doing that, since I knew it made no difference on the outcome. The poor play frustrated me. I have watched my team all year long and for some reason, they were not playing up to their normal standards.

As I urged them on, but thought they could not pull it off, I began to think about the pain that is often associated with being a fan. I knew that if they lost, life would go on, but there would be some momentary heart ache associated with not winning. I didn't want to feel that. I wanted to feel the joy of winning it all.

This vicarious thrill puzzles me. I understand that I do not affect the outcome in any way. I also understand that I am only affiliated with my team, because I was born and raised in this area and because all of the games are on TV. I never go and see them play live, I just watch the game from the comfort of my easy chair.

But that doesn't stop me from feeling like I am a part of it. I use the word "we" when I talk about them. I feel as much pride in the victory as if I had been on the court. I feel like I know the players and that they know me. I schedule things at this time of year around the game schedule – being present for the game is just as important as any business meeting and often it is just as important as many of my other personal commitments. If the game is on, I am there.

The Great Escape

In the end, I realized how much I need the escape from the cares of my world. This virtual opportunity to win or lose without any real contribution, or consequence for that matter, is a welcome distraction from the real wins and losses I regularly face. 

In some ways, I feel as if it gives me a chance for a moment to just be a spectator of life. As I sit watching, I learn many things that I later apply. This became especially obvious to me as I listened so intently to the comments during the post game interviews. I was thrilled to hear so many lessons learned during the victory. They were thoughts that resonated with me and helped me see things about victory that only those associated with the victory could truly describe. I was great to gain this perspective.

Lessons Learned

It was then that I realized that even though the game is a diversion I am actually learning many important things, and I am learning those lessons without having to experience them for myself. Ben Franklin is reported to have said, "experience is a hard school, but a fool learns no other." This means that wise people sometimes learn without the pain of experience. I don't think we can learn how to do things without doing them, but I think we can leverage the perspectives of others, which in turn accelerates our learning process.

Are you a fan?

Do you learn from the experiences of others?

How do those experiences affect your learning potential?

I am glad that I am a member of Laker Nation and that we are the 2010 NBA Champions. It is great to be a part of their great triumph. Phil Jackson said after the game that they could not have won it without the fans who were at Staples Center last night. I submit that the league would not exist without those of us who make just as much noise sitting in our chair at home. I can't wait for the season to begin again.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

When I began my trip home, I was glad that it was later in the evening. As expected, the traffic was light and the trip home seemed like it would be smooth sailing. Unfortunately, that pattern did not last very long and before I knew it I was in another slow down. 

We were moving, but only at about 5 miles per hour. I could see the lights of emergency vehicles ahead and could calculate about how long it would take to get through the mess. I was tired, but not too tired to worry about the people involved. I resolved to be patient as I made my way through.

Looky Loos

The accident was a near an overpass. As I approached, I could see many people who were pressed against the fence, looking down at the wreck. This made me worry even more about the people involved. The cars ahead of me were slowly passing by the scene – I could see that many were struggling to get a look at what was going on.

When I got to the site of the pile-up, I looked over and discovered that it was only a very minor accident. Everybody involved looked like they were ok. The emergency technicians were speaking with the people and moving their vehicles out of the way. I was happy to discover this, but I now felt irritated by the time lost in the delay.

The people on the overpass were not moving they just kept standing there. Their presence was contributing to the slow down as everybody thought there was something to see so they drove slowly by. I wondered, "what is the attraction?" and "What were they expecting or hoping to see?"

The Wrecks of Life

There are wrecks all around us. In my opinion, we spend too much time focusing on them. For some reason the nightly news is almost entirely focused on the bad things that are going on around us. 

We can choose watch these pile-ups, but I submit that there is very little value. I know the intent is to make us more aware and sympathetic to the plight of humanity, buy I recommend that instead of fostering greater care for others it calluses us and creates a resistance to feeling anything at all. In short, it actually desensitizes us to the pain and suffering of others because we begin to think, "it happens all the time, and there is nothing we can do about it."

There Is Beauty All Around

I dare you to focus today on the beauty that is all around you. I dare you to use inspiring language. I dare you to walk away when an off color story is told. I dare you to stand up for virtue.

Looking away from the profane and tragic events of the world does not mean that we hide our heads in the sand. It simply means that we focus our attention on the beauty that is all around us, which in turn leads us to become more sensitive to the tragedies. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but we actually develop a greater capacity to care for others and, more importantly to do something about it. 

What wrecks are you allowing in your life?

What must happen for you to be able to look toward the beauty?

Where will your strength to help others come from?

You can look at anything you want. Some will tell you that there are no consequences for looking, but there most certainly are very real consequences. Just like the delays caused by "Looky Loos" our life also suffers from looking at the wrecks that cannot inspire or engage. Don't get caught in that traffic trap. Look at the beauty. It is all around us.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Which of these stories are you believing? What is consuming your focus and energy? I do not deny the fact that we are living in tough times, nor do I refute the fact that this is a time of great opportunity. You are free to choose where you want to look. 

Point Your View

Simply looking at either side will not change your circumstances, but it will change your mood. If you are angry, then you will sink into despair. If you are happy, then you will find the joy in life. The energy generated from either, will determine your ability to stagnate or grow.

We have the power to invent a new reality. Our circumstances must never dictate our life. They simply serve as defining moments that challenge us to rise above or enlarge. Our level of willingness to persevere when the going gets tough eventually creates the results of life. Rarely, do we get the result we want overnight. If it were that easy, everybody would be living in a weakened and false state.

Consider the economy of the past ten years. Many people prospered without doing a thing. They bought a home and watched the value rise with no effort of their own. Rather than save and prepare for what we all knew would eventually happen, they borrowed and spent at inflated values. Now they are shackled by the despair of the times and unable to take full advantage of the opportunities of the day.

Stick To It

Regardless of your current circumstances, you must learn to be in a state of never ending progress. Persistence is an interesting word. Sometimes we think it means to aggressively move forward without regard for form or style. We think it means to put our heads down and move forward, never letting any obstacle get in our way.

That is a part of the definition, but by itself, that definition will lead us to the cliffs of insanity. Persistence is actually only slightly related to aggressive movement. In reality, persistence is a quality of patience. When we face difficult times, we must face them patiently. We cannot panic. If we do, we end up choosing unwisely. Persistence resolves many obstacles when we take the time to understand.

Stop – Look – Listen

We were taught a very simple formula in Kindergarten. Do you remember what it was? We learned it on our first day of school. Our parents and teachers wanted to make sure that we were safe, so they taught us the steps to success. Stop – Look – Listen. Those magic steps will work for you today. 

As you face your challenges, do not despair. Instead, stop what you are doing. You need a break. You need the opportunity to examine possibility. You need to pause from the weary road and rest.

While you are stopped, look around to see if there is any danger. This will give you the opportunity to identify the safest and most successful path. 

Be careful. There will be some paths to nowhere that seem very enticing. You must take the time to listen carefully, especially to your own inner voice.

What are you focusing on? Feast or Famine?

Do you take the time to see things as they really are before you make important decisions?

Are you ready to take the positive path?

As we patiently persist, we are rewarded with the power to be our best. Some experiences chip away our rough exteriors in ways that seem to hurt, but when we turn and look back at them, we can see their polishing effect. Today is a day to see the best in what today has to offer. Look ahead and be happy!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Ankle Breakers

While the tree is known for its beauty, it is also known for its spiked fruit. These "gumball" shaped droppings are very unpleasant to walk on, and they do not decompose. If left on the lawn, they turn it into an uneven surface full of lumpy pock marks. Here in North Carolina, they call the the fruit "ankle breakers" because both the fruit, and the holes they create in the lawn, are known to cause many ankle injuries.

As a newcomer, it was hard for me to understand why this tree was being removed. It looked like a beautiful tree. The decision to eliminate it, was not made in haste. Its removal had been considered for many year and it was finally time to create a new landscape plan. Its seasonal beauty and the shade it provided could no longer save it. The mess it regularly makes had finally sealed its doom.

Character Reveals Itself Over Time

As I watched the tree fall, I thought about the people I know who have faced a similar fate. They may possess many strengths, but for some reason, their weaknesses always seem to bring them down. In the beginning, their coworkers and leaders enjoy the immediate contributions they make, but in the end, the pollution they spew on their social environment is so toxic that they are asked to leave.

I find this especially sad because people are not trees. The "gumball" tree is what it is and cannot change its behavior, but people can. Some simply reject the idea of growing new behaviors. They believe that their strengths will always save them, so they refuse to deal with their fatal flaws. They are surprised when they are no longer wanted, but they shouldn't be.

I foster a "strength based approach" in all of the work that I do, but I also make sure we take enough time to identify and eliminate any critical behaviors that can potentially derail a career. These characteristics are usually seen by all, but rarely addressed until it is too late. It is my job to discuss these unspeakable blemishes in such away that the needed growth is understood, accepted and embraced.

No one can really expect to hide these types of behaviors for very long. They are always revealed in time. The only way to deal with these challenges is to grow beyond them. That requires constant effort. I like to help people learn what they can do, instead of what they must stop doing, but sometimes they just need to stop doing certain things or they will continue to face similar consequences.

Leveraging the Perspectives of Others

I realize that it is difficult to see our own "fatal flaws" and that is why we must encourage others to tell us the truth about our behavior. Sometimes those around us don't tell us the truth because they don't want to hurt us, but the only way the truth can hurt us is when it is withheld from us or covered up. Plain and simple, we need to know if there is a problem.

Other times, the truth is spoken and we refuse to hear it. We tell ourselves that the person that is speaking it does not really believe what they are saying, or we argue that their perspective is not valid. The person trying to tell us the truth eventually loses interest and leaves us alone until we self-destruct.

If we want to thrive, we must be willing to listen to the spoken and unspoken feedback we receive from others. If we fail to do that, we will be cut down. It is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when.

Are you taking the time to hear and understand the feedback you are receiving?

Do you look for ways to uncover the unspeakable?

What are you doing to encourage others to tell you the truth?

We cannot ignore the truth for very long. If we do, we will find ourselves in undesirable circumstances. Growth is much easier to accomplish when we see it ourselves. Don't wait for somebody to tell you that you need to do it. Take care of your personal "ankle breakers" today.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

We always begin with confidence. When we leave the car, we know we are going to make it to the top. The first few miles fly by and the excitement of being on the trail keeps us going. Progress always means that the trail becomes more difficult. Soon we are either lost in endless switchbacks or steep ascents. Either way, our bodies and minds begin to feel the significance of the challenge ahead.

Reaching For The Top

No matter how prepared we are, the final trail to the peak is always a shock to our system. It is usually less traveled and more difficult to discern than the lower level trails. Its steepness reeks of danger and we always move a little more cautiously. The visual stimulus conjures uncertain thoughts, and there is always a point where the trail ahead looks too difficult and we wonder if we can make it, or if it is worth the risk to continue.

It is interesting to note that this point of uncertainty is usually just a few hundred yards from the top. The goal is in site, yet we still feel like turning back. 

The Summits of Life

I find myself in similar place on several projects right now. The finish lines are in sight, but I am tired. There are even moments when I find myself wondering if I have what it takes to go the distance. I am thankful for my experiences of climbing mountain peaks because I am using them to help me stay on target.

My successes on the mountain trails help me to believe that I will be equally successful on the trails of life. I have a plan and I can see where I am going. This keeps fear and doubt from discouraging me. I have been to the top of other summits and I will make it to the top of these ones.  

Only The Beginning

Rarely do we ever summit the highest peak. From the top we can always see another distant mountain worth climbing. Our summits become the base camps of our future climbs. It is there that we can see our next pursuit. It is there that a new vision is born.

The moments at the top are generally very brief. We capture it with a picture, enjoy the view, and then head out in search of the next adventure. We know that our time on the trail, and the lessons we learn are much more valuable than the moments we spend at the top, but standing on the top helps us to appreciate the trail and make meaning out of it.

What truths have you discovered at the top of the peaks you have climbed?

Where do you stand today? Can you see your peak of choice?

Are you reaching for the next level?

Reach for it. Don't stop until you get there. It is closer than you think and you can be whoever you want to be. The view at the top will help you see more clearly the successes of the previous and future you. My promise is always the same – "You ain't seen nothin yet!"

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Most people I know are very good at keeping the promises they make to others. It would be an abnormal occurrence for them to fail on these promises, but for some reason, many struggle in keeping the promises they make to themselves. They either run out of time or out of energy and they compromise their own agenda.

Say What You Mean

I suppose I am especially thinking about this today, because it is now late in the afternoon and I am just getting ready to publish my thoughts for the day.

If you are a regular reader, then you know that I made a commitment to post a daily article to this space. If you have checked to see if the post of the day is up, then you received that commitment as a promise between you and me. I value that promise and I have thought about you many times during the day, but that is not what is motivating me to collect my thoughts.

My commitment is as much to myself as it is to you. I write, so that I will develop my skills as an author. I write, so that I will stay focused on creating new content. I write, so that I will remain open enough to share with you what is going on inside of me.

I verbalized this promise to myself, so that I would have additional leverage, (you), to hold myself accountable. I want to be known as one who does what he says he is going to do, so I am willing to push aside the business of today and add to the record of the The Authentic Me.

Living Up To The Promise

Involving others in the promises we make to ourselves is one of the surest ways of keeping those promises. It helps us stay aware and on target.

What do you do to ensure that you keep the promises that you make to yourself?

Do you tell people that are willing to follow up with you?

What promises are you keeping?

Think about the people in your circle of influence who keep the promises they make to themselves. How do you view those individuals? Now think about the people who don't keep the promises they make to themselves. How do you view them? 

Now, consider your ability to keep the promises you make to yourself? Which side do you fall on? Are you willing grow?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Earlier in the day I had washed my car and it was pretty clean, so I politely told him "no thank you" and went about the business of filling up my car. I turned my back on him and I did not plan on giving him a second thought.

He did not go away. My answer only dissuaded him for a moment and his next statement was even more direct. He simply said, "I am out of work and I need gas in my car to get home to my family. I don't have any money. What can I do for you?"

Abundance

At that moment, I realized just how good life really is for me and my family. Things are tough for us too. We are constantly engaged in the struggle to make ends meet. It is a continual battle, but we are blessed with the opportunities we need to make it all happen.

Abundance, is a state of mind. None of us every really have enough, until we think we do. The resources that accumulate over a lifetime are wasted, if we do not learn to give them away. As we prosper, there will be many opportunities to help others. I truly believe that when we help those in need, we are really serving God. When we do that, the heavens open upon us and we receive even greater blessings from above.

Our Test

The test I faced last night was not that of figuring out how I was going to get gas in my car. My test, was figuring out if I would be willing to put gas in someone else's car. Those types of decisions are the ones the produce the most growth in our lives.

What would you have done?

Who do you know that needs your help today?

How can you meet their need?

It is my hallucination that most of the trials you and I face are mere inconveniences. If you are reading this, then you probably don't know what it is like to really suffer. You most likely don't know what it is like to beg for your existence, and if you do, you somehow found a way out of that significant challenge.

Because you and I have been given much, we must give to others. It is our opportunity to be the "way out". Sometimes, it will be a tank of gas. Other times it will be a listening heart. You will know what it is, in the moment it is requested of you. Please listen to your heart and give, even if it hurts a little. I promise you that if you give someone a piece of bread, you will get it back with peanut butter and jelly on it.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

So begins Charles Dickens' book the Tale of Two Cities. It literally describes our day. Some right now are finding new feasts and others are suffering in old famines. Where do you find yourself?

Opportunity Of A Lifetime

I find myself seeing opportunity. I see that there are risks, but I am willing to take them. Playing safe, never inspires me. I know that living a full life requires the stomach to take risks. I cannot, no, I will not live in fear. I will not believe that it is a time to search for security or to hunker down. That is what is causing our economy to remain stagnant.

There is too much fear going around right now and prosperity is not a game for the faint of heart. Abundance only comes to those who spend their days passionately creating success. Stepping into uncertainty is the leading requirement. The openings that lead to greatness are created by taking that step. No one ever did it without taking a risk.

Of course this means that we will live through some very uncomfortable experiences, but only those who learn how to lean into the discomfort finally discover the secrets of abundance. Does anybody ever look back on life and say, "I wish I played it safe"? I don't think so. In fact, I think the risks we take, whether successful or unsuccessful, create our most memorable experiences. They are the moments that define and enlighten us. 

Safe Risk

Before taking that step, we must learn to count the cost. It is true, that no matter how prepared we are, some risks will just not pay off, and that is why we must consider the options before us. Risk is only made safe when we make wise choices. We must know what is at stake, and if we are able to stand losing it. If we cannot afford to lose the required investment, then we must never make it.

Some people decide that they can't lose anything, so they never take a risk. The never seek to push their own boundaries. I may not be able to make a million dollar investment right now, but perhaps I can make a $5,000.00 one. Risk means that we are stretching ourselves beyond our current limits. That means that we must be willing to take chances. 

Now Is The Time

Right now, I am in the middle of taking some major risks. I see the opportunities before me that will lead me to the next level. I am afraid. Simply put, thinking about what it will take for me to do what I must do, frightens me. I feel nervous and worried, but those feelings are calling me to greatness. They are the feelings that inspire me to move forward.

For the first time in a few years, I am asking myself one of my favorite questions; "what is the worst thing I could lose?" That is the question I ask before I move forward. I go over the worst case scenario and once I have a chance to stare it in the face, I am no longer afraid of it. Seeing the worst, makes me realize that it wouldn't be that bad, so I take the leap of faith required to create the opening I need.

What risks are before you?

What will happen if you take them? What will happen if you choose not to take them?

What is the worst thing you would lose if you took the chance before you? Would that really be that bad?

There is an opening. You may not be able to see it right now, but it is there. Trust yourself, and let your mind ponder your next move. The older I become, the more I believe that life is an illusion that we create. Our willingness to step forward, creates freedom, greatness and success. Our fear suppresses our very best. Don't just sit there saying it can't be done, create your opening.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

I was fortunate enough to be flying business class, which meant that my seat would fully recline into the flat position. it also meant that I would be one of the first passengers to board. Time seemed to be at a standstill and I wanted to get on that plane pretty bad.

Overzealous Behavior

Finally, they announced that it was OK to board. Because I of my fatigue, I failed to notice a couple of people who were clearly in front of me. I did not run them over, but I definitely behaved in a way that would have made my mother angry with me. I was rude and inconsiderate.

It would be easy to say that I was not aware, and that I just was moving as quickly as I could to get on the plane, but in reality, I purposefully moved in a way that said, "get out of my way", and everybody in my way knew it.

Most of the passengers got out of my way without saying anything, but one man stopped me and said, "why don't you go on ahead. I am sure I will have plenty of time to board and I don't think they will leave without me." He actually said it in one of most loving and caring voices that I have ever heard. There was not a hint of sarcasm or anger in his voice. 

His tone actually woke me up from the "sleep deprived, get-out-of-my-way charge" that I was inflicting upon my fellow passengers. I immediately recognized what I was doing and asked for his forgiveness. He was more than willing to offer it and we boarded the plane together. As we went our separate ways, I thanked him again for sending me a polite wake-up. He was even more polite and said not to worry about it.

Awareness

He was sitting just a couple of seats away from me and as we were preparing to take off, I am overheard a conversation he was having with his seat mate. My new friend was talking about the day he had had. He said that his earlier flight had also been delayed and that he had spent most of the day in the airport trying to get home to his country. The flight we were on was a substitute flight and would not take him home. He was going to have to take another flight before he could get there and this one would make his total delay in getting home about 13 hours.

I knew that if anybody had a right to be uptight, upset and angry, it was this man, yet for some reason he seemed to be the calmest man on board. As I sat in my seat, I thought about what made this possible. Why was it, that this man was able to demonstrate so much patience? What made him so delightful?

As I pondered this experience I actually dug a little deeper and turned my thoughts inward. I am happy person. Like many of you, I have a good life. I like life. So why did I find myself on that day possessing so little patience? Why was I so easily upset by a nominal delay? What was causing me to behave this way.

As I asked myself these questions, I realized that the answer was because I was behaving in a selfish way. Instead of looking around and seeing how I could help others, i was looking around and seeing how I could increase my own advantage. It was then that the real impact of my travel companion's words hit me. Once again, I heard him say in my mind, "why don't you go on ahead. I am sure I will have plenty of time to board and I don't think they will leave without me." That was the key. No matter how fast I boarded, I was not going to get to my destination any quicker. His patience and kindness lifted my spirits and inspired me with a desire to behave the same way. I cringe as I think about what my behavior inspired in others.

Looking Through Selfless Eyes

An observer, would have seen two travelers that day. Both would arrive at their destination at the same time, but one would arrive with a smile and the other with a grimace. After that day, I decided to be the traveller with a smile. It is amazing what a smile and a kind word can do.

What would our world be like if we all behaved in a kind and gentle way?

What is the risk of being kind to others? Are you willing to let it begin with you?

Are you willing to be thoughtful enough to consider your own behavior and how it impacts those around you?

I invite you to behave in a delightful way. The next time somebody cuts you off, smile and let them in. You will deeply appreciate the peace and energy that will come to you from doing such a simple thing. I am not afraid to use myself as an example of what not to do in this post, because through this experience I learned to be a better me. That is why I can authentically promise that when we behave this way, it is worth it.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Each one of these projects is so intense that if I get even one day behind I am toast. They all bring with them significant trials that I have not faced before. The only option I have is to keep moving forward.

The Dream

There is a recurring dream that I have of hope. It goes something like this; in a few weeks, I will be done with these projects. Then I will take a break from all this madness and I will get some rest. I won't have any new commitments so I will be free to do what I want.  I will finally be free from this stress.

This dream is pleasant, but false. I say this, because I know this is not the first time I have had this dream and it has never come true before. Every time I finish a project or pass through a trial, the next one begins and it is always harder and more difficult than anything I have ever experienced before in my life.

Action Filled Days

I am actually thankful for this reality. I can't imagine how boring life would be for me if the rest, I always dream about really did exist. I love rest, but I can only take so much of it. What I love more, is the challenge that comes from raising the bar.

The trials and triumphs that we face, are meant to be soul stretching experiences. They could not fulfill their purpose if we experienced the same ones over and over again. In order to grow, we experience new challenges. 

Sticking With It

The school of life rarely adjourns and when it does, it is only for a brief recess. Sometimes, a new semester begins, before the old one has ended. The degree of difficulty in the course work increases, without a stated willingness that we are ready to progress. Each lesson teaches us that we are capable of so much more than we previously thought possible. 

Passing grades are only passed out to those who are persistent. Our willingness to stick with it, demonstrates a willingness to progress, even in the face of failure. When we step back and look at our history, we see that what looked like a failure in the moment, actually contributed to our biggest and brightest successes. Somehow, we actually carry with us a perfect record. We have passed every test, and the knowledge we gained is always the resource we rely upon most when we are faced with the next level.

Life Is Good!

I am glad life is this way. It makes me happy to reach a new height, set a new standard and raise the bar. Sometimes it does feel overwhelming and I am ok with that. The older I get, the more clearly I see that it is all invented any way. I get what I want, every single time, even when I don't like what I get. 

How do the challenges you faced ten years ago, compare with the ones you are facing now?

Do they seem the same, smaller or bigger?

What do you rely upon most when you are faced with a new project or trial?

How do keep yourself committed in the face of life?

I find myself thinking about this topic because we are now 11 days into the new year. That doesn't seem like a lot of time, but it is enough time to realize that the challenges of life will always be with us. This is true whether it is the the beginning of the year, or the end of the year. Whether we want it or not, life is purposefully designed to take us through loops of continuous improvement.

Welcome to life. Hang on – now let go!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Work / Life Conflict

Before I knew it, the joys of life out shined the call of work. I wanted to get to the office early, but my kids who are out of school for another week, slept in. Normally, this would not have been a problem, but it was my birthday and we have a tradition of opening birthday gifts at breakfast time. Protocol, required me to stay home until the last one was awake.

Fortunately, none of my children are real late sleepers. The last one got up at about 8:30 and we gathered around the kitchen table to open my gifts. 

In my mind, I thought, "ok, there are about five gifts and 10 magnificent works of art to consider. This will take about a half an hour and I will be on my way to the office and on schedule for the day." The fact that I spent the previous two weeks at home, made it easy for me to justify my rush and willingness to leave on my birthday.

There was a big box on the table, bigger than I normally get for my birthday. I hurried though the other gifts and saved it for last. When I opened it, I discovered a beautiful new turntable which makes it possible to create mp3 files from all of my old records.

None of my kids had ever seen a record, let alone heard one played so I went and got the ones that I still own and we began to sing and dance about the house with delight. Three hours later we were still at it. It was a time of great joy for our family. Eventually, the excitement died down enough for me to take a break. I went up stairs to my study. I still planned on going in to the office, but I decided to do a defensive scan of emails and voice mails before I left. 

Life Happens

Just as I was collecting my things, Sarah, my nine year-old daughter who received a new bicycle for Christmas came up and said, "hey dad, remember when you said we could go for a ride on our bikes, well since it is your birthday, we should go for a ride." 

I thought to myself, "I don't have time to do that", but then I looked and her and realized that in that moment, I really didn't have time to do anything else so away we went for a bike ride. It was a beautiful day outside and we enjoyed a ride that went farther than she had ever gone before. Her smile made me forget about any of the things that I had on my list of things to do. I knew I was in the right place at the right time and that everything else could and would wait.

Home Sweet Home

When we arrived back at the house, we played with the turntable again and then I headed back upstairs to gather my stuff. It was late, so I just decided to at home the rest of the day. My list of things was less important than it seemed when I wrote it, and I knew I could finish most of it without going in to the office.

I faced many interruptions and I frequently paused to entertain a friendly call or a child wishing me a happy birthday. It felt like I was treading water until I got to the end of the day. It was then, that I realized that there was only one item on the list that needed to be completed and that was the insignificant task of cleaning my office. 

The Things That Matter Most

I am so glad that I did not let my list get in the way of my time with my family. I understand how fortunate I was to be in a position to make it happen. I realize that the circumstances will not always lend themselves to a full day, but I believe we can always make time for those we love. Our day is never too busy.

When was the last time you called those you love during your work day just to say hello?

Do you hear the simple requests from your children when they want some of your time?

What happens to your energy levels at work after you pause to be a person?

I am certain that the greatest work we will ever do is done within the wall of our own homes. The office will wait and you will be able to get the work done in a timely manner because you will feel the balance that comes from answering the call of your family. It works! Give it a shot.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The show captured my attention each week. The idea of being anybody I want to be is very appealing to me. In fact, I spent a lot of time in the past trying to figure out who the best me would be. It was a prevailing thought even after I enjoyed serious success in building a business. Fortunately, I eventually discovered my true passion for life.

Who Do You Want To Be Today?

I recognize that is it not uncommon for very successful people to be figuring out who they want to be. Many of the happy people I work with find themselves in this exact position. Success happens to many of us, even when we don't have this figured out.

In my case, I was able to use my selling skills to create an income and an opportunity to provide for my family. That was my main concern, so for a long time it didn't matter that I was working in a profession and a career that I hated. My number one priority was to provide for my family and I accepted the fact that doing so required many sacrifices, even working at something I did not love doing.

I know many others who are working at what they love doing, but they have not reached their potential yet. Their inability to see themselves moving to the next level is what holds them back. They have the talent and the skills, they just need to discover the guts to go for it.

Still others, don't have the faintest idea. They are in the process of discovering who they want to be. They find themselves in the midst of success, knowing that there is something more for them, but not knowing what it is.

Getting Better and Better!

I believe that all of us eventually figure this out. Some just find out later in life and believe that it is too late do anything about it. They live with and accept the saddest of all words, "what might have been" in a numb and painless way.

I never believe it is too late. All we need is a willingness to stick our necks out and take a risk. Everything we do in this life is invented. We are just like Jarod the Pretender. We are brilliant beyond our own understanding. We truly have the power to be whoever we want to be.

Our imagination must never be quelled. We must always be willing to engage in becoming our best. This doesn't mean we need to change jobs or careers. It just means that we are willing to stretch ourselves in ways that will magnify our purpose. I am constantly involved in activities that will more fully reveal the real and authentic me to myself and others.

I understand that in order to become my best, I must be pretending that I can be better. That is where it starts. It starts with a belief that I am capable of growth. I don't know anybody who believes otherwise, but there truly are very few who act the part.

Stepping Up To Greatness

I dare you to be your best. I want you to wake up and see that no matter how wonderful you are, you can be better. Please don't let your current successes smother your desire to be a better you. Just open your eyes and imagine what the best you looks like then start pretending that you are that person. This is how the great ones become extraordinary. They allow themselves to see and believe their dreams. 

When was the last time you engaged yourself in a game of make-believe?

Do you think you can become your best without pretending you are better than you really are?

Are you willing to shake yourself so that you can grow into a more beautiful you?

Now is the time to consider who you will be in 2010. I invite you to begin it with a running start. Think about what it will take for you to rise up and be your best. I know you can do it. The people closest to you are hoping you will do it. We can't wait to see the new you!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Hello Honey It's Me!

Many of the cars seemed to notice me without noticing me. By that I mean they would give me the space I needed to be safe, but the drivers never really looked at me.

After a couple of days went by, I started waving at the people in the cars as they passed by. At first very few people would wave back. I think they thought I was crazy or something, so I decided to up the ante and started smiling when I waved. Before too long, most everybody started waving back. Some even waved at me before I have a chance to wave at them.

Lifting Each Other Up

One day, two high school kids waved with the biggest smiles on their faces. They were probably thinking "that guy is a  crazy dude", but it made me feel so good to have their energy directed at me. It is amazing how much it lifted me up in that moment.

It made me think about the many people I come in contact with each day. I don't always notice everybody. Sometimes, I don't even notice my family members. I know that each of them needs a lift too. They are moving forward in their lives. doing their best to be their best. It is so much easier to do that when somebody seems to notice.

I See You!

We can make a difference in so many lives by simply seeing the people around us. We don't even have to go out of our way to do it. All we have to do is smile and wave. It is such an easy thing to do. To those closest to us, we can add an encouraging word. I can't think of anything more simple to do. It doesn't cost anything.

The people I passed on the road running didn't see me first. They saw a crazy runner running, and they wanted to make sure that they didn't hit me, but they didn't see me. After a while, they began to see me as a person. They probably still thought I was crazy, but they began to acknowledge me. It felt good to be noticed by them. Our mutual act of waving became a source of inspiration. 

Do You See What I See?

I like to be around successful people. They are generally full of energy and power. They love to acknowledge and even share in the successes of others. They get excited when they see somebody reaching for their best.

Are you waving at the people around you?

Do their successes pump you up?

What can you do today, to lift and inspire someone? 

I can't see you as you read these thoughts, and you can't see me as I write, but I know you are there, whizzing by me at the speed of life. The thought of your presence inspires me to consistently write something worth reading. If you could see me right now, you would see me smiling and waving at you. Thanks for see me too.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

She said, "sir, we put five pumps of chocolate in our hot chocolate, are you sure you want us to put ten in yours?" I responded with a hearty yes. Then she said, "that is going to be like melting a candy bar and drinking it", and I said, "yes, now you are speaking my language."

My client was surprised because I normally order a shot of wheat grass or some other healthy snack. So I explained the beauty of what I call my holiday splurge.

The Holiday Splurge

Usually, I am very conscious about what I eat and drink, but I like to treat myself at Christmas time. By doing this, I save myself the guilt I would normally feel by consuming all of the tasty treats that are either created by my beautiful wife or delivered by our loving friends and family. 

I love this holiday splurge, and it doesn't just include a lapse in wholesome eating. I also tone down my exercise routine. It gives me the opportunity to focus on other things, like sleeping in and sitting around listening to music and watching movies with my kids. 

My body enjoys the rest and my taste buds enjoy the feast. I may gain a few pounds, but they are quickly shed, when I get back to my routine in January.

Taking A Break

Breaks from our normal routine are important. They give us a chance to catch our breath and enjoy the view. They actually increase our ability to focus, because they allow us the space to consider what is important. 

I enjoy the challenge of exercising and eating healthy. Both give me great stores of energy during the year. I savor the renewal I feel from relaxing during this time of year, and I am always ready to hit it when January comes around. 

Think about your daily routine:

What commitments are driving your success?

What benefits might you enjoy if you took a break from them to enjoy the holidays?

How can you use the holiday season more wisely to enjoy the breaks your body and mind need?

Rest is good. It invigorates us and allows us the space to see why we do what we do. It is cold here this morning. I think I will go out for another chocolate chocolate.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

What Makes The Difference?

As you might suspect, the variances from location to location are mostly related to the people that work at each site. The behaviors of the leadership teams and the engagement of the employee bases are where the real differences are manifested.

This simple observation makes it easy to propose the theory that if we want to have a thriving organization, we better spend some time making sure we have thriving people. I am sure that this is not the first time you have heard this theory, but what are the characteristics of a thriving person?

The Thriving Person

Most people I know, expect that the organization will create an environment where they can grow and thrive. Sadly, no matter what the organization does, it never seems to be enough. That is because we are all individuals and we each need different conditions to flourish. As a result, it is difficult for any organization to create a "one-size fits all" program for personal development. The thriving person understands this and becomes accountable for their own  plan. 

Organizations that recognize this concept create cultures that foster the development of thriving individuals. This means that they value initiative taking, proactiveness, decisiveness and they encourage their people to take risks, even when some of those risks result in failures or setbacks. 

Still, creating a healthy environment, does not remove the responsibility from the individual. He or she, must be willing to set meaningful goals, make decisions, walk with purpose, and demonstrate a willingness to move initiatives forward in the face obstacles that threaten success. Most organizations value these behaviors, even when their culture's do not foster their development.

Permission To Grow

Do you get what I am saying? You are responsible for creating the thriving you. Nobody else can, or will do it for you. Do you understand that if you don't like your current circumstances, only you can change them? 

I imagine that you do understand this concept, so I am inviting you to examine your current circumstances:

Describe your current levels of satisfaction and dissatisfaction.

What are you doing that is good? How can you do that better? What will it take to become your best?

Who can help you become your best? When will you ask them to help?

This is a great time of year to review your personal progress. The more time you spend understanding your own needs, the more likely you are to be seen as a valued employee. Just consider the things you can do right now that will help you become your best, and then get busy. I look forward to watching you develop.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I Believe In Santa Claus

I particularly enjoy the giving of gifts that is so closely associated with this time of year. I like to think of things that will brighten the faces of my children or that will express my love for my beautiful wife. I love thinking of my clients and friends and considering their individual needs and then coming up with something that will demonstrate that I see them and that I know them. 

I don't mind that our society now sees Christmas more as an opportunity to stimulate the economy than as a Holy Day. I am not bothered by Black Friday and Cyber Monday, because I understand the root of the message. I know that even though many have forgotten; Christmas is about the ultimate gift that we were all given by a loving God. I realize that for some, this message is one sided, but for me, this great gift is offered to everyone. Even the story of Santa is a symbol of this great truth. Santa seeks to fulfill our hopes and dreams with no thought of receiving anything in return. 

Even if you are unable to connect with the message of the ultimate gift, I hope that you will allow yourself to connect to a truth that transcends all religions: It is better to give than receive. 

The New Me

I love the new year, because it gives me an opportunity to dream about the future me. I love thinking about the goals and aspirations that will birth the new me. The new year is a time to thank and appreciate the old me and then to say goodbye to that previous me.

I love the feeling that I am free to invent a new and more excellent me. I am not a static being. I am a dynamic being full of hope and potential. I love to think about what I may become. I love to engage in dreaming about meeting the future me. 

If Every Day Could Be Just Like Christmas

Elvis sings a great Christmas song titled, If Every Day Could Be Just Like Christmas. Of course, the message of the song is that if we could live that way, it would be a wonderful world. Long live the King!

What does Christmas mean to you?

How do you remember it?

What do you want for yourself in the New Year?

How much thought do you put into making and keeping your resolutions?

My desires for you at this time of year are pure and sincere. I wish for you to hear a message of hope. Please do not hear a message of conversion or judgment. I am simply sharing with you, one of my most beautiful beliefs. Please receive it in the spirit of love, in which it is expressed.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Andrew Thorn renames Just One More in honor of Rex McGuire

Apple Valley, California – December 7, 2009

Andrew Thorn announced today that he renamed the final hill of his cross country trail. The hill formally known as Just One More was given the new name of Hero McGuire, in honor of Rex McGuire, a regular running partner and awesome friend.

This is the first time in the history of Thorn's cross country adventures that a hill or other trail landmark received a new name. Names are given to the open and unmarked desert to serve as points of reference and facilitate possible rescue efforts. Just One More, was originally named in 1999. It marks the final, of a series of ascents before the downward journey to Home Base. 

Rex McGuire is known to sprint up and down this challenging hill in the style of Football Hero, a popular set from P90X's Plyometrics workout with Tony Horton. "This hill defines McGuires grit and endurance," said Dr. Dreamcoat, "he always saves the best for last." 

In an even more surprising move, McGuire Falls was also renamed and is now simply known as Don't Take That For Granite. Thorn felt that there was now no need to remember the great fall of 2007 and decided to give it a new name. Thorn said, 'It just didn't make sense to honor Rex by renaming Just One More, and continue to memorialize his tasty fall on the rocks of the desert wash, so the it was renamed also." ###

The Power of Friends

Friends make life interesting, fun and beautiful. They cheer us on when we excel and cheer us up when we falter. Real friends inspire us to be our best, because they are always reaching for their best. Rex is that type of friend.

My friend Eddie Peterson is also that type of friend. He is fond of quoting Proverbs 27:17. It says, 'Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend". He likes to remind me that this means that friends challenge each other in supportive and elevating ways. They never treat each other with disrespect. They never feel jealous. They never hope that a friend will pass through the worst of circumstances, but if they do, he assures, "he will be there to support and lift, even if it is 2 o'clock in the morning."

I am thankful for good friends. I am fortunate to be around many men and women who see my potential and want me to reach it. I can't imagine what life would be like without them. I know that I would not be the person I am, because their influence continues to shape me. Thanks to those mentioned here and those not mentioned. Just because you are not mentioned by name, does not mean that I don't recognize and love you for your contribution to my life.

Be That Friend

To have friends, we must be friends. It is not a one way street. If we want friends, we must be willing to be there too.

What kind of friend are you?

How do your friends know that you are their friend? What evidence do they have?

What more can you give of yourself to be a true friend?

At this time of year, we often remember our friends with a card or a small gift. If you didn't know this about me already, I am a major fan of Ralph Waldo Emerson. I especially like his quote about gifts. He said:

Rings and jewels are not gifts but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of yourself

If you honor the seasonal tradition of gift giving, I invite you to consider your friends and their individual needs, and then give them something that demonstrates that you see them for who they really are. What could be better? 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548