Earlier in the day I had washed my car and it was pretty clean, so I politely told him "no thank you" and went about the business of filling up my car. I turned my back on him and I did not plan on giving him a second thought.

He did not go away. My answer only dissuaded him for a moment and his next statement was even more direct. He simply said, "I am out of work and I need gas in my car to get home to my family. I don't have any money. What can I do for you?"

Abundance

At that moment, I realized just how good life really is for me and my family. Things are tough for us too. We are constantly engaged in the struggle to make ends meet. It is a continual battle, but we are blessed with the opportunities we need to make it all happen.

Abundance, is a state of mind. None of us every really have enough, until we think we do. The resources that accumulate over a lifetime are wasted, if we do not learn to give them away. As we prosper, there will be many opportunities to help others. I truly believe that when we help those in need, we are really serving God. When we do that, the heavens open upon us and we receive even greater blessings from above.

Our Test

The test I faced last night was not that of figuring out how I was going to get gas in my car. My test, was figuring out if I would be willing to put gas in someone else's car. Those types of decisions are the ones the produce the most growth in our lives.

What would you have done?

Who do you know that needs your help today?

How can you meet their need?

It is my hallucination that most of the trials you and I face are mere inconveniences. If you are reading this, then you probably don't know what it is like to really suffer. You most likely don't know what it is like to beg for your existence, and if you do, you somehow found a way out of that significant challenge.

Because you and I have been given much, we must give to others. It is our opportunity to be the "way out". Sometimes, it will be a tank of gas. Other times it will be a listening heart. You will know what it is, in the moment it is requested of you. Please listen to your heart and give, even if it hurts a little. I promise you that if you give someone a piece of bread, you will get it back with peanut butter and jelly on it.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Our first Valentine's day together came nearly six months after we were married. I didn't create anything to celebrate the experience. No flowers, no dinner, not even a card. In my mind, I had already won the love of my beautiful wife, so I didn't think I needed any help from Cupid. 

Two Dozen Roses

I will never forget the sick feeling I had in my stomach when I realized how badly I had hurt my wife. I was innocently ignorant, but I had significantly neglected the woman I love and adore. She never said a thing about it. She didn't have to. I picked up on the cues. She was not angry, she was disappointed. Oh, how that stung to have been the cause of her sorrow.

Now, in addition to whatever else I might do for her on that magical day, I have been sure to bring home two dozen roses. One dozen is for the current year, and one for the year I forgot. I want her to know that I always remember her and that I always want her to be my Valentine.

Love Fulfills and Completes

Since that time, I have begun to understand that love, true love, the kind of love that never tires, is not sustained by the things we buy for the love of our life. We just can't go around buying anything and everything the heart and mind of the one we love desires. Even if we had enough money to do so, it would never truly be possible to completely satisfy our love in that way, because there would always be another need. Fulfillment would be impossible.

The intimate relationships that are formed by true love are meant to be completing relationships. They become full when we learn how to lift, inspire and support each other. The material gifts we give remind us of our love, but they can never be enough. The real gift, is the act of becoming one. In order to do so, we must be tuned in enough to know what the love our life needs. We must always be listening for the cues, both verbalized and unverbalized, that require our action.

I Treasure You!

If you truly want to treasure your love, then you must be willing to make loving the most important aspect of your life. You can only take love to the next level by putting it first every single day. Stacy and I will soon celebrate 22 years of marriage. I can honestly say that I love her now more than ever, that she is more beautiful right now than she has ever been, and that I respect her now more than ever before.

The amazing thing to me, is that I realize that tomorrow I will feel for her even more strongly and I will look back and consider my love of today immature. My love is going to keep on growing, because I am going to continue to treasure her and see her for all of her potential. I am aware that doing so takes work, but it is worth it.

Here are some questions that I use to help me stay on track:

Am I stopping to look at the one I love in the eyes when we are speaking to each other?

Do I hear and respond to the simple requests that are not necessarily directed at me? 

Do the words I use denote appreciation, adoration and admiration?

Let me assure you, there are many days when doing the dishes or taking out the trash is more meaningful than having a dozen roses delivered. A kind word,a smile, a tender embrace, a small act of service, a compliment, or grateful recognition of the many things done on my behalf, are gifts that I can give every day. They are the signs of my love. They give the words meaning and power. Happy Valentine's day Stacy – You Complete Me!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

On Groundhog Day, we created two very special moments. One was a time honored tradition, and the other was a LOST moment.

Tag Your "IT"

For the past 12 years, we have gathered on the front lawn as a family to play Groundhog Tag on Groundhog Day. Some of you may know it as Freeze Tag. One person is "IT" and they run around and try to tag everyone else. If you are tagged, you must freeze. The only way you can become unfrozen is to have one of the other players crawl through the space between your legs and the ground. 

We have a lot of fun playing this game together. I don't know of many 17, 15 and 13 year old boys who are willing to play tag on the front lawn with their Mom and Dad and their 9, 5, and 3 year old sisters. They played and had fun. The older the boys get, the harder it is for them to make it through the legs, and it is very hard for anybody to fit through the little one's legs. 

I am thankful for this tradition and for the time we spend together doing it. Before long they will all be gone, but we will always be able to look out the front window at the lawn and remember being "IT".

Final Season of Lost

Later in the evening we all gathered around the TV to watch the Season Premiere of Lost. The start time was well after bed time for half of the family and the end time was far beyond the bed time of all of the rest of us. We stayed together for the whole show, even though we knew we could watch it on the internet the next day. 

The suspense nearly killed us, but we stuck with it. The girls fell asleep and the boys complained about the many commercial breaks. I enjoyed the breaks, because they gave us time to talk about what we were watching and what we thought would happen next.  We definitely got lost in the moment.

Taking Time Out For Family

Life is hectic, I know and feel that personally. I have come to understand that the most meaningful moments come from taking time out to be with the family. The concerns of the day will wait, and they will always be there. Our children will not wait, and they will not always be there. We must remember to pause and be with them, learn from them and love them.

I am aware that many of you reading do not have kids, but you do have a family. Family relationships are very important and you must do your best to nurture the intimate relationships that you do enjoy.

What are you doing to develop your family relationships?

How can you make the moments more memorable?

How do you want your family to remember you?

From my office, I am watching the sun go down. As it slips behind the rocky slopes of our desert hills, I get a visual reminder of how quickly the moments pass. Be present. You will never look back and say, "I wish I was gone more."

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I'm just a common man with common thoughts, and I feel I've lived a pretty common life; there will never be any monuments dedicated to me, and undoubtedly my name will soon be forgotten; but I've loved another, with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.

What Makes Love Real?

When we are young and in love, we find it hard to get the object of our love out of our mind. I used the word object on purpose, because young love is often an obsessive form of love. We want the person so badly that we are willing to do anything. That attraction can only be sustained for so long. Sooner or later, we discover that we are in love with a real person, not a perfect person.

It can be challenging to sustain the feeling of being "in-love", when the blinders that cover us during the "falling-in-love" experience come off, . So what makes it real?

I think the answer is found in Mr. Akes' quote. It is our commitment to another that makes our love real.  Yes, the fires of love are stoked by frequent acts of selfless service. The power to love can only be maintained by honoring and keeping the commitments we make with each other. True love, the kind that lasts forever, is only sustained by our willingness to love that person with all of our heart and soul. 

Who Do You Love? How Do They Know?

I invite you to think about the people you love today. How to do they know you love them? I hope your answer is not, "because I told them." It is not enough to tell them. You must show them by your actions. Love is a verb and it requires you to act.

What are you doing to demonstrate your love?

Is there a need or a request, that was recently made by a loved one, that remains undone? When do you plan to do it?

At this time of year, many of us are thinking about the great gifts that we want to give our loved ones. Please consider giving something of greater value than what you can buy at the store. Think about giving the gift of yourself. I dare you to give your time and your energy in ways in which you have never given it before. I promise you, that you will feel better about that gift than any of the others found under your tree this year.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

I Believe In Santa Claus

I particularly enjoy the giving of gifts that is so closely associated with this time of year. I like to think of things that will brighten the faces of my children or that will express my love for my beautiful wife. I love thinking of my clients and friends and considering their individual needs and then coming up with something that will demonstrate that I see them and that I know them. 

I don't mind that our society now sees Christmas more as an opportunity to stimulate the economy than as a Holy Day. I am not bothered by Black Friday and Cyber Monday, because I understand the root of the message. I know that even though many have forgotten; Christmas is about the ultimate gift that we were all given by a loving God. I realize that for some, this message is one sided, but for me, this great gift is offered to everyone. Even the story of Santa is a symbol of this great truth. Santa seeks to fulfill our hopes and dreams with no thought of receiving anything in return. 

Even if you are unable to connect with the message of the ultimate gift, I hope that you will allow yourself to connect to a truth that transcends all religions: It is better to give than receive. 

The New Me

I love the new year, because it gives me an opportunity to dream about the future me. I love thinking about the goals and aspirations that will birth the new me. The new year is a time to thank and appreciate the old me and then to say goodbye to that previous me.

I love the feeling that I am free to invent a new and more excellent me. I am not a static being. I am a dynamic being full of hope and potential. I love to think about what I may become. I love to engage in dreaming about meeting the future me. 

If Every Day Could Be Just Like Christmas

Elvis sings a great Christmas song titled, If Every Day Could Be Just Like Christmas. Of course, the message of the song is that if we could live that way, it would be a wonderful world. Long live the King!

What does Christmas mean to you?

How do you remember it?

What do you want for yourself in the New Year?

How much thought do you put into making and keeping your resolutions?

My desires for you at this time of year are pure and sincere. I wish for you to hear a message of hope. Please do not hear a message of conversion or judgment. I am simply sharing with you, one of my most beautiful beliefs. Please receive it in the spirit of love, in which it is expressed.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Andrew Thorn renames Just One More in honor of Rex McGuire

Apple Valley, California – December 7, 2009

Andrew Thorn announced today that he renamed the final hill of his cross country trail. The hill formally known as Just One More was given the new name of Hero McGuire, in honor of Rex McGuire, a regular running partner and awesome friend.

This is the first time in the history of Thorn's cross country adventures that a hill or other trail landmark received a new name. Names are given to the open and unmarked desert to serve as points of reference and facilitate possible rescue efforts. Just One More, was originally named in 1999. It marks the final, of a series of ascents before the downward journey to Home Base. 

Rex McGuire is known to sprint up and down this challenging hill in the style of Football Hero, a popular set from P90X's Plyometrics workout with Tony Horton. "This hill defines McGuires grit and endurance," said Dr. Dreamcoat, "he always saves the best for last." 

In an even more surprising move, McGuire Falls was also renamed and is now simply known as Don't Take That For Granite. Thorn felt that there was now no need to remember the great fall of 2007 and decided to give it a new name. Thorn said, 'It just didn't make sense to honor Rex by renaming Just One More, and continue to memorialize his tasty fall on the rocks of the desert wash, so the it was renamed also." ###

The Power of Friends

Friends make life interesting, fun and beautiful. They cheer us on when we excel and cheer us up when we falter. Real friends inspire us to be our best, because they are always reaching for their best. Rex is that type of friend.

My friend Eddie Peterson is also that type of friend. He is fond of quoting Proverbs 27:17. It says, 'Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend". He likes to remind me that this means that friends challenge each other in supportive and elevating ways. They never treat each other with disrespect. They never feel jealous. They never hope that a friend will pass through the worst of circumstances, but if they do, he assures, "he will be there to support and lift, even if it is 2 o'clock in the morning."

I am thankful for good friends. I am fortunate to be around many men and women who see my potential and want me to reach it. I can't imagine what life would be like without them. I know that I would not be the person I am, because their influence continues to shape me. Thanks to those mentioned here and those not mentioned. Just because you are not mentioned by name, does not mean that I don't recognize and love you for your contribution to my life.

Be That Friend

To have friends, we must be friends. It is not a one way street. If we want friends, we must be willing to be there too.

What kind of friend are you?

How do your friends know that you are their friend? What evidence do they have?

What more can you give of yourself to be a true friend?

At this time of year, we often remember our friends with a card or a small gift. If you didn't know this about me already, I am a major fan of Ralph Waldo Emerson. I especially like his quote about gifts. He said:

Rings and jewels are not gifts but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of yourself

If you honor the seasonal tradition of gift giving, I invite you to consider your friends and their individual needs, and then give them something that demonstrates that you see them for who they really are. What could be better? 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Latin Americans are affectionate people. They show that affection regularly. The Argentine’s are no different. Men and women hug and kiss each other each time they greet or say goodbye. I love these interactions, they are very comfortable. The Argentine people are known for their passion and romance, but there is nothing sexual about these embraces. They are truly demonstrating their love for others. These embraces are symbols of friendship and the love we each should have for our fellow human beings.

The Cold North

Because of my comfort within the Latin cultures, I am often engaged in very open conversations about my culture. There is a lot of curiosity about the way we behave. Because I feel like one of them, and they see me as one of them, we are able to talk about the differences without the worry of offense.

I often hear that we are a cold people, and I think there is some merit to that thought. Sometimes after working in South America for a week, I immediately fly to a client’s office here in the USA. When I arrive, I am so accustomed to hugging everyone I meet and greet that I forget to change gears. I get some pretty interesting responses when that happens, some of which I will never forget.

Some are very comfortable with it, and others are not. They really don’t know how to respond. They recognize my intent, but they are not use to this type of behavior in the work place. I explain where I have been and what it is like there and they usually say something like, "I don’t think I could survive in that place."

The Final Curtain

Tomorrow night, the curtain will close on the Victorville Cast’s production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. We are enjoying a great run with sold out crowds every night. It is a lot fun and I am very thankful for this amazing opportunity to polish my talents. I love this stretch, it will certainly rank as one of my all time favorites.

The show ends with several strong embraces between my onstage brothers and father. It is a powerful display of love and redemption. After the curtain closes, our entire cast makes its way to the lobby to greet our audience. I am usually exhausted, but I love this opportunity to thank them for coming. These brief moments renew my energy. I am naturally in a very emotional state and I am in a hugging mood. I am ready to be embraced, and I find the human touch to be even more valuable than the many kind remarks I receive. 

Some people approach me with open arms and we embrace and share in the magical message of the show. Others arrive and carefully keep their distance. I can see in some a desire to embrace but a fear of rejection. I pull those people in to me and share with them a warm embrace. Their reluctance quickly disappears and the moment is naturally enjoyed.

But in the faces of others I can see a clear desire to keep their distance. For them it is enough to express kind words and be on their way. I respect the boundary, but in my heart, I wish to be able to share the love I feel for them through a strong and hearty embrace. I want that feeling of oneness and I want them to feel it too. I feel sad when they leave the theater without it.

The Friendly Embrace

I understand that it is not responsible for me to advocate that we all engage in more friendly embraces. I can hear the corporate attorneys, cautioning us against exposing ourselves to the potential for sexual harassment charges. Sadly, the boundaries of appropriate behavior are crossed too many times, giving us cause to heed our attorney’s counsel. I find it interesting to note that as a society, we are more comfortable speaking of friendly fire than we are of engaging in friendly embraces. 

Somehow, we must learn how to appropriately express our love for others. Our world needs more love, I am sure of that.

How do you express your love for the people you work with? What can you do to create a more loving environment in your workplace? 

What about at home? How often do you hug your children? Your parents? Siblings? Friends? Spouse?

I know there is power in connecting this way. It is a power that overcomes the differences that separate us. It is a uniting power. If we are fortunate enough to meet in person, you can count on me being in Argentine mode. I hope you will reciprocate.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

As the day went on, I became even more enraged. This is not normal behavior for me. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. For some reason, this dark mood held a grip on my day and I could not muster enough power to escape it. 

The Battle For Brightness

I wanted to let go of the rage I was feeling, but it was a real struggle. I did my best to be pleasant in the phone meetings that I had scheduled, but that was a challenge for me. I went home for lunch and behaved in an offensive way – alienating most of my family.

Instead of staying inside, I went out to the yard. It was a pleasant day and I thought I might get a small nap to invigorate me. That didn’t work either. I went back to work, still clinging to this foul mood. 

I did my best to behave professionally in my afternoon meetings. As the day wore on, it became clear that I was not doing a very good job of hiding my frustration. I just needed to get out of the space I was in, and find some place to chill out.

My Impact On Others

I went home craving some exercise. I thought that a workout would give me a venue to express the frustrations I was feeling. I got into the workout and began to experience its soothing effects. When I finished, I still was feeling a bit uptight, but I felt like I had turned the corner.

There was some work to do on our pool,  and even though it was dark, I decided to do it. I wanted to protect myself and my family from a potential outburst so I flipped on the outside lights and went to work. I just didn’t want to be around anybody at that moment and the work provided a reasonable escape.

Stacy came out to talk to me while I was in the middle of solving the problem. She said she had an errand to run, but before she left she wanted to see if everything was ok. She was so sweet in her approach. She even asked, "did I do something to get you upset?"

It was then that I clearly saw the impact of my bitter behavior on others. I let her know that she was not the problem and that I was just feeling uptight. I told her not to worry about it, that it was not caused by anything significant and that I would be ok in a little while. 

She left and I began to ponder what this mood was all about. I still couldn’t shake it, but at least now I was aware of how I was behaving and how that was effecting others, especially those I love the most. A twinge of happiness began to enter my being as I thought about how important those people are to me. I did not want to hurt them. I knew I needed to make a choice to be happy now. Slowly, I began to feel better. 

The residue of this sickening mood is still lingering in my being, but I am on my way to recovering. I do not know what caused it, I just know that its impact was real and that I felt helpless in dealing with it for a few moments. 

Life Sometimes Gives Us Bitter Moments

None of us can guarantee that we will live a life of constant sunshine. We can only commit to figuring out how to manage our emotions in such a way that they do not yield negative consequences for others. Emotional intelligence is a critical skill to develop. One of its primary tenets is to develop the ability to recognize our own emotions and them manage them effectively. Throughout  the day, I found enough awareness to remove myself from circumstances where I might blow up and later regret it. Sometimes, we just need to take a break from it all and collect our thoughts. 

Good moments and bad moments will always be a part of life. The real test is in learning what to do with those moments. When we do our best to shake off the moments of darkness and embrace the bright shining moments we enjoy life a whole lot more.

What do you do when you get upset? How long does it take you to become aware of your impact on others? How do you bring yourself back into a good mood? How long does it take for that to happen? Part of being emotionally intelligent is thinking about things like this after the fact. Being emotionally intelligent does not mean that we will not pass though moments like I experienced yesterday, it just means that we will be better able to deal with them when they happen. How can we develop that confidence if we never look back on the experience and learn from it.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548