Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat opened this weekend on 8th Street in Victorville to huge crowds and rave reviews. I feel grateful to be a part of this cast and to receive such loud ovations for our efforts. The kind comments we continue to receive are wonderful "paydays" for the many hours of rehearsal and the sacrifices each of us made to make this dream a reality.
Life for me right now is consumed with this production. I can hardly think of anything else. The finish line is in sight and I am focused on crossing it. There are moments when I feel drained of all my energy and wonder how I can possibly go on, and then there are other moments when I feel like I could go on forever and that I never want it to end.
The Inner Voice
The praise and congratulations are meaningful, but they will not be the most cherished memories of this experience. Instead, I will remember the moments on stage when I feel so incredibly alive. It is difficult to describe what happens to me when I am able to push past my insecurities and my vulnerabilities and give all of who I am. During those moments, it feels like time stops, or at least slows to a pace where I can see and comprehend everything that is going on around me. My sense of purpose, fills my entire being and I know that I am engaging in magical moments. My inner voice speaks to me of the connections I am making at that moment in time. I may not ever know the impact of those connections, but I know they are being made.
This is not the first time that I have heard my inner voice, in fact, it speaks to me often. Sometimes it encourages me to stretch and other times it confirms my efforts. It is all I need to feel satisfied. When that inner voice speaks, I know I am valued and loved. The loud applause and critical acclaim eventually fall silent, but my inner voice of confidence is always there to enliven my spirit and brighten my day.
Becoming Our Best
Recognizing this voice is an essential ingredient to becoming our best. Too many times, we rely on others to validate our efforts, only to discover that their voices can not sustain us. The praise of others is desirable, but by itself it cannot fill us up. We must be able to find those quiet moments when we can bathe ourselves in individual affirmation.
There is a moment in the show when Joseph is wearing his amazing technicolor dreamcoat. Everyone around him is jealous and they are trying to tear him down, instead of building him up. During those trying times, his inner voice sings, "I look handsome, I look smart, I am a walking work of art. Such a dazzling coat of many colors, how I love my coat of many colors."
It is a beautiful experience to permit myself to sing these lines. They are not sung with pride or delusions of grandeur, they are sung from the joy of receiving such a wonderful gift. Though no one else can appreciate the gift, my inner voice allows me to step into the light at center stage and celebrate the wonderful gift given by a loving father.
I often ask myself, "if I can’t allow myself to see my unique qualities and my individual greatness, who will? Do you ever worry about celebrating your own greatness? Do you feel like you will be seen as arrogant or cocky if you allow yourself to walk in the light of your confidence?
If you ever find yourself feeling those thoughts, please consider the following poem which was written by Marianne Williamson:
Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us
And as we let our own light shine
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
Now, allow yourself to shine brightly so that the rest of us can see your light. We need your light. It helps us shine brighter too. There will always be those who will speak negatively or reject you, but when you listen to your inner voice and allow yourself to shine, you will not feel the sting of their critical barbs. Instead, you will be alive in being the best possible you.
Live Today! Love Today!
Andrew Thorn
760-559-3548
