How much time did you spend this week reflecting about what is going on around you and planning your life?

What are you afraid of? Is your fear keeping you from acting courageously?

Do you know why you get up in the morning? Is your purpose clearly defined?

I ask you to consider these questions because they are directly related with the responses gathered from a one question survey of older adults (+ 75). The question is a simple one – "If you could live your life over, what would you do differently?"

I think the answer to this question is pertinent to all of us, but especially to those of us who still have the greater portion of the second half of their life to live. Are you as interested as I am in the responses? Do you think the responses can help you make a course correction if needed?

Trick Questions

Your answers to the questions I asked you to consider at the beginning of this post are very important. That is because the questions are closely correlated with the top three answers the seniors gave in the one questions survey. They said that if they could live their life over, they would do the following:

1. Spend more time reflecting on life.
   
2. Act more courageously.
3. Clarify earlier in their life their individual purpose.

Take a look again at your answers. Are you satisfied with your responses? Are you spending enough time in these areas to help you make meaning out of your life? It is your life to live and I affirm that now, is the most valuable resource you have. Use it wisely.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

What Happened?

One of the great things about a New Year resolutions is that we rarely feel guilty about it when we fail to keep them. I am all for not feeling guilt, but I think we owe ourselves the gift of continually resolving to do better. 

The problem with most resolutions is that they are poorly considered. Most of us spend very little time figuring out what we want to do. Like me, you may have even seen some made in a drunken stupor on New Year's Eve. Heck, you may have even made some that way. Is it any wonder they a broken in short order. 

Making Them Count

Despite their reputation for being quickly dismissed, I believe it is very important to regularly make and keep "new you" resolutions. Did you catch that? I said regularly, not just annually; and I also said "new you" and not New Year.

So how do we make them count? First, we must take the time to clearly define our purpose in life. This is a difficult task, and one that most healthy people avoid. For some strange reason, we leave that work unfinished until we face a crisis. Then our purpose becomes very important. I don't want to wait for a crisis to define my purpose in life, do you?

Until our purpose is clearly stated, our resolutions will be difficult to keep. This is because we won't really know what we want and so we will allow ourselves to set resolutions that really don't matter to us. If it doesn't matter to us, we won't do if for very long. Each resolution we set must be clearly aligned with our purpose. When we do that, we find it very easy to engage in, and even fulfill our "New You" resolutions.

Another tool that will help us to stay resolved is the development of key indicators. Many of us understand this, and do it very effectively in our businesses, but for some reason, only a few of us do it effectively in our personal lives.

How can we expect to succeed if we don't know what success looks like? Key indicators help us to insure we are on the right track. They also help us measure our progress. When the right indicators are developed, we become free to make adjustments and to evaluate our progress.

Happy New You!

It's not too late. Some of my resolutions for 2011 are still being formed. I am not the least bit worried about that. I know that when I take the time to get them right, I am much more likely to see them to completion. I also understand that my resolutions live with me. That means that they are refined and redefined at various times throughout the year. 

What do I want?'

How will I get it?

What will it cost me?

When will I start?

These are some of the questions I ask myself when I am serious about setting new resolutions. Before you start, you may want to consider a check-up on your purpose. It is easier than you think. Just start by asking yourself who you want to become. Then let your self dream. Just find the space and time to capture the thoughts in your head. Empty them without fear of judgment. Get them all out. I find it most useful to hand write it. I like the feel of the flow of my hand when it synchronizes with my brain. Typing it out works well too. The important thing is just to move, for every movement you make, as long as it is aligned with your purpose, brings you closer to realizing your goals.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

These questions are the result of my brainstorming what I want in 2011. I just turned my hands loose and started letting them flow from me without thinking. Some questions led to other questions, but there really was no thought in the order, or restraint on my part. I just let them flow from me.

Reflection

About three quarters of the way through I noticed that I was not proposing any "why" questions. As this fact bubbled out of my subconscious and into my conscious thought I asked myself, "why not"? I determined that it was because the "why" questions do not empower me to be my best. They do not help me in any way. 

What questions are you asking yourself?

How will they help you become your best?

I am not seeking for life's answers. Instead, I am living in the question.

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Flow of Energy

One particular scene captured my attention. The Kung Fu Kid had spent a lot of time learning to pick up his jacket, put it on, take it off, and hang it up. He did this until he was tired and could no longer see the point in doing it any longer. It was then, that his wise teacher explained to him the purpose of his actions.

The scene demonstrated how the movements of the jacket exercise were actually movements that could be used in practicing the art of Kung Fu. The master explained that everything is Kung Fu and that it lives in everything we do. 

He then told his student to "remember".

What Lives In You?

I am not a practitioner of Kung Fu, but I recognized the importance of having a system that keeps us connected to what matters most. There will always be times when we feel like we have had enough and that we no longer wish to continue.

The system we choose, keeps us connected to a higher purpose and, when we remember its values, it prevents us from burning out. 

Life happens at a breakneck pace. The space between getting up and laying down often seems like an extension of the dreams we have when we are asleep. To stay connected we must remember who we are. Everything we do, must be connected to that system or we will forget the importance of the system in our lives. 

To Remember

What does it mean to remember? To some, it feels like a passive activity, but it is definitely one of the most active things we can do. It is the activity that keeps our system at the top of our mind. 

I am amazed at how often the words "keep" and "remember" are mentioned together. They denote similar thoughts. They both require us to hold on to important learnings from our past. They symbolize the good things that we must embrace. 

I do not think we can live a satisfying life if we fail to connect to something of value. For me, it is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It flows through everything I do, and everything that I am. I find that whenever I become casual in the observance of this system, I feel far away from the real me. and I find it difficult to sustain a life of energy.

When I return to its practice, I feel energized. I feel much more capable of loving myself and of loving others with all of my heart, might, mind and strength. Life, during those moments, is good.

What flows through you?

What system do you embrace as being connected to everything?

How do you make sure you stay connected to it?

My invitation to you today is for you to reconnect to your system. It is imperative for you to ensure that it is flowing through you. It works the same for all of us. To feel energized, you must remember the source of your energy. You can't start, until you remember. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

The Family Puzzle

We have a backyard pool that we put in about 15 years ago. It still looks pretty good, but some of the tile has fallen off. One of my tasks was to make sure that it got fixed. About 45 tiles had come unglued, so I spent a couple of hours figuring out where to put each one and then began attaching them back in place.

As I installed each tile, I thought about all of the memories in our backyard pool. I remember our very first swim as if it happened yesterday. We had only three kids at the time and as we played in our Jacuzzi, Christina, who was only five years old said, "now we can spend even more time together as a family". 

We have grown since then, and our family continues to change. My tile project helped me to see things as they really are; our greatest joys come from the time we spend with our family. The definition of family changes as we grow. 30 years ago, it was defined by my role as a son and a brother. Now it is defined as a husband and a father. I suppose, I will always occupy all of those roles, but each one takes on more of a focus at different times in our life. Someday, I will add Grandpa, and Great Grandpa to the list of family roles that belong to me. 

This week, my family will gather, one-by-one, to watch my daughter enter into a covenant marriage. They are not coming to see our beautiful home or to taste the wonderful food that we will offer. They are coming to witness the union of two people who are covenanting before God, angels and earthly witnesses that they will be true and faithful to each other.

The Road Ahead

The other day, Mike, my new son-in-law, told me that he had spent a sleepless night thinking about Christina. He told me how much he loved her and how thankful he was to be receiving her as his wife. We spoke for a moment about his current feelings and then we reflected on the state of marriage in the world today.

I reminded him that many people enter into marriages today with the exact same feelings, and they think that they will always feel that way, but for some reason lose that loving feeling. At one time, our society accepted the words "until death do you part", as words that defined the marriage commitment. Now, marriage has become a temporary phase of life. Many are entering into marriage with the thought that if it doesn't work out, they can always get a divorce.

Mike and I then spoke about a much bigger picture. When he marries Christina, he will enter into a covenant that we believe, through their faithfulness to each other, will extend throughout time and all eternity. I asked him, if he would love Christina 500 billion years from now. He of course said yes.

His love for Christina, will not be measured by what he feels today. Instead, it will be measured by how he grows that love, how he honors that love, and how much he makes that love the center of his life. Anything short of that, will make the love that he feels for her today temporary.

Our Period of Waiting Is Over

Tomorrow, the union of Mike and Christina begins. It is an exciting time. They have prepared themselves for this moment. They will now give themselves to each other. Their efforts will now be combined. They will give up many of their individual pursuits for collective goals.

Our family is changing again. We are saying good-bye to some roles and responsibilities and hello to some new ones. It will take some time to adjust, but those adjustments will happen, and we will enjoy the process.

Stacy and I have long looked forward to this day. We have taught our children about the importance of family. Our lives are a testimony of those beliefs and values in action. Our children understand that our greatest successes are found right here at home, and not out in the world. They know that a missing piece in our family is much more significant than a missing piece of tile in the pool. They know that what is about to happen for Mike and Christina is not about the party, the guest list and the gifts. They understand that it about entering into a sacred covenant to be one.

We feel a great sense of satisfaction to know that our daughter learned that message and that she is now forming her own family. She is the first, so we are thankful that she is setting an example for those that will follow. Families are forever. There is a new one forming this week. How incredibly awesome is that!

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

As I went through the different scenarios in my brain, about how I would behave if this were my last day, I realized how fortunate I am to have this thought, and how important it is to act on the thoughts that entered my mind. 

As I thought about some of the aspirations that I still want to pursue, I began to laugh. My laughter was a result of the joy I felt in considering my life. Stacy wanted to know why I was laughing, and I told her that we had won the lottery. She began to laugh too, because she knew that I was dreaming again.

Life is Long

Too many times, we hear the phrase, "life is short". Looking back, that certainly seems to be true, but as we move forward through the trials of life, it can also feel very long. I think it is too long to be engaged in things that cause us, or others to suffer. 

I don't know how much time I have left, but I know I am going to fill each day with activities that bring joy to my life and to the lives of others. I don't want to waste any time in discouragement while there are so many shining moments to embrace. I choose to stand in the light.

What if today were your last day?

How would you spend your time?

Who would you spend it with?

You will most likely rise with the sun tomorrow, but just in case, don't you think you should spend at least part of today, doing the things that will bring you and others joy? The world is waiting. What will your contribution be?

Live Today! Love Today!

Dr. Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

It seems that whenever I feel alone, one of these awesome people calls me on the phone, sends me a message or just stops by to see how I am doing. When I thank them for their presence and thoughtfulness, they simply state how much they love me and remind me of when I was there for them.

Friends That Lift!

I am grateful for so many positive influences in my life. I recognize that our relationships are reciprocal, but it always feels like I am getting more than my share, so I dig deeper.

I am surprised at the number of my friends who are actually clients. Our friendship is the foundation of the work we do. Very few were friends before we began working together, our relationship developed into a friendship because we shared so much life together.

The basis of these friendships is our ability to see each other as people first. That makes it easy to help, to counsel and to share. I never feel like holding back, I just feel like giving more and more.

Are the people you work with your friends?

Do you know who they really are?

Are you willing to stand with them in the work you do?

I once hired a marketing company to figure out why my client's enjoyed working with me. They asked my clients to describe the work that we do together. The most common answer was, "Andrew is my friend." 

At first, I did not know what to do with this information. I thought, "how do I use that to develop new clients?" After awhile, it dawned on me, "clients and consultants get in the way, friends make life a joy." You got a friend in me.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

This Day Belongs To Me

I know it is because I make each day my own. My secret is to prepare as if everything that I am, depends upon me being ready to make the most of each day. I approach life with wonder – the type of wonder that awakens me to the possibility that I will be asked to step into the shoes of greatness. 

Even when the odds are against me, I step into my vision with a certainty that all will be well. I am not afraid of what might present itself, instead I remind myself that I am ready at a moment's notice to share my story and the moments that define who I am.

Do you make the day, or does the day make you?

Do you know who you are, and are you ready to be that person?

Are you willing to share the very best of you are with those you meet?

It is often a very scary proposition to stand in the vision. It requires faith and hope and an abundant nature. Too often we embrace our poverty as if letting go will deprive us of something worth holding. Today, I dare you to stand in your vision – it is where you will feel most alive.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

For some members in our little group, this will be the most difficult experience they have ever faced. For others, it will be a welcome relief from the pressure they face on a daily basis. For me, it will be my first experience as the oldest person in the group. I don't feel it, but I know my time to stand on the top is ebbing, so I will enjoy every moment as we ascend to wonderful heights. 

We will all see something different when we stand on this high point. That is one of the greatest things about life – despite the face that we share each day with each other, our experience is always individual. 

I am thankful for the high points in my life. There have been many, and each one brought different meaning and purpose to my tiny / grand existence. That is why I am constantly reaching for new heights. I need to stretch and be stretched so that I can become my best.

What are the high points of your life?

What lessons did you learn from standing on the top?

When was the last time you reached for a new peak experience?

I will think of you when I am on the top of Southern California. I will express my thanks for your support and my desire for you to become your best. Please do the same for me!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Sometimes, my work interferes, but I do my best to be here and to be a part of their lives. I was not born a father, and so I have learned many lessons along the way to becoming the father I am today, and I realize that I still have so much to learn.

I have experienced many honors, earned many degrees and enjoyed many breakthroughs in my work, but none them compare to the thrill I feel when one of my children call me dad. Their beautiful faces inspire me and fuel my desire to reach for the next level.

Consequently, I have come to understand that the greatest work I will ever do is within the walls of my own home. It is here that I will leave a mark that cannot be erased. It is here that my legacy will be formed. Thank you Christina, Jacob, Joseph, John, Sarah, Rebekah and Leah. You make it so easy to be happy and to put other interests in their proper perspective. Thank you Stacy for creating this beautiful family with me and for continually breathing life into our dreams.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548 

Be Prepared

Our purpose is to scout the trail in advance of a 60 mile hike we will take next week with a group of young men. There was heavy snowfall this year, and the last couple of miles before the summit are on a very steep ridge line.

Too much snow on the ground can make this difficult for the inexperienced hiker to pass safely.  Our plan today is to observe conditions, and select an alternative trail if necessary. This will also give us a chance to identify any other potential dangers.

Today's hike is simply a planning hike. We are investing our time and efforts to better understand the conditions of the trail before we subject our whole organization to its rigors. In away, you can say we are gaining competitive intelligence. We want to understand the cost before we fully invest our resources.

The Power of Planning

These preliminary efforts, remind me how important it is to plan. The amount of energy we spend on this task is directly correlated to the amount of success we experience. Most of us are very good at planning our work efforts, and even our vacations, but too few of us are good at planning life.

To me, life planning exercises are more important than any other type of planning exercises. Yet for some reason, our investment in this activity is surprisingly small. We barely recognize the fact that we are wandering until we reach the end of the trail of life and realize that we have many things that are left undone.

When we take the time to carefully plan our life, we begin to understand which paths we want to take, and which ones we want to avoid. Planning also helps us feel like we are in balance. Successful people plan regularly. In fact, statistics state that the most successful people plan an average of 30 minutes per day. 

Which Way Do I Go?

Today, is a day of discovery. We are seeking to find the safest trail where we will experience the greatest amount of success when we bring our whole team. I liken this step to the dreaming phase of life. It is vitally important because it helps us to identify which way we should go. It also brings certainty to the trail.

What obstacles ahead may prevent your success?

What is your plan to avoid them?

How much time are you spending on life planning exercises?

Life is meant to be enjoyed. It is also meant to be lived on purpose. Time spent on planning exercises helps us to bring critical steps and activities in focus, which always leads to sense of balance and a position of strength. I dare you to invest a few moments each day on discovering, through the power of planning, what you want out of life. I promise your efforts will bring great results. See you on the trail.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

As individuals advance in senior leadership roles, developmental feedback is often withheld, and many leaders think that because they are not getting it, they don't need it. Consequently, many leaders hit a plateau in their own personal and professional development. In effect, they stop growing.

Leaders Need Feedback

In the early stages of their careers, many successful leaders were given the guidance and support they needed to become their best. They were regularly monitored, coached and mentored, but as they moved up the ladder of success, the sources of honest and useful feedback became more difficult to find. After a certain point, they were left to their own devices to figure things out.

Their success, and the lack of critical feedback, usually creates a false sense of wellbeing, which can result in missing the signs that indicate the need for growth and development. By the time negative perceptions come to light, personal and professional reputations may have already suffered significant consequences.

Getting The Help You Need

Even the most outstanding leaders sometimes find themselves off track and unaligned with their most important values. Intelligent leaders understand this, and realize that they must actively seek the information they need to continually develop their individual and professional behaviors. They are not afraid of feedback. In fact, they crave it. They use this information to discover blind spots and close the gaps between their current leadership style and the leader they desire to become.

When was the last time you had a leadership check-up?

How do you discover your leadership blind spots?

Is your leadership style comfortable? Does it reflect who you really are?

The world is constantly changing, and leaders need to be able to adapt their personal and professional styles accordingly. No matter how talented and successful you are, you will make mistakes and develop bad habits. As you progress in your career, some behaviors that once worked, will no longer be effective. Dr. Thorn's Leadership Advantage™ is a process that is specifically designed to help you see things as they really are. Are you ready to grow?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

This Magic Moment

We are excited and we are concerned. There are many things to be happy about and there are many things to worry about. I suspect that this is normal. We don't have much time to prepare. The wedding is planned for August 14th.

As the shock wears off, I find myself reflecting on my own story. Some of the things that were said at the time of our engagement are starting to make sense. The concerns of a parent are real to the parent, but totally unfounded for the couple being married. Together, Stacy and I formed a union that proved to be stronger than any of the concerns of our friends and family. I hope the same thing happens for Christina and Mike.

Choice

In a strange way, I feel very good about something. The man my daughter is marrying is not the man we would have chosen for her. Our hopes and dreams created a very different picture. That may sound harsh to admit, but I do not mean it in a critical way. I simply find myself feeling very happy that my daughter is making her own choices. To me, it is a sign of our success as parents.

We know, that our influence is still felt and respected. She knows of our concerns, we have discussed them openly with her. Despite our apprehensions, she is moving forward with her choice. That is the way it should be.

Life is Good!

I called each of my brothers and sisters this morning as soon as I got the news. We are a busy family, and I wanted to make sure that they got the date on their calendar so they could begin to plan. Each conversation was distinct. Some shared perspective, others shared advice and all shared hope. These conversations were different for me. In many ways they marked new beginnings.

During one conversation, I felt myself moving on into a new phase of life. I saw the exit door opening just a crack. I could see that my time is giving way to my children's time. Very soon, we will have 14 kids instead of 7 and many tiny voices will be calling us Grandma and Grandpa. I did not feel afraid by this vision, I felt excited. 

And so it begins. it seems like only yesterday that we hunted through the mall for the very last Little Mermaid video and now we give our princess away. We are full of hope. We want the best for her, and we know we cannot give it to her. She must find it herself. To some, that may seem scary, but I wouldn't want it any other way. See you soon Grandma!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

It feels good to voluntarily get the most out of what we have, but when it is constantly forced upon us, we can begin to feel taxed beyond our individual abilities. Sometimes that feeling of fatigue leads to doubt and fear, and those emotions can cause us to wonder if we will ever see a return to prosperity.

Life Is Good!

I believe that we will, so I live with that expectation. I refuse to give in to the shadows that these challenging times evoke. Instead, I walk in faith. I admit, that it is not always easy to do, but I just keep believing that things are going to be better soon, and act as if they will. Consequently, I am often surrounded with lots of movement in the positive direction.

Whenever I begin to feel discouraged, I pause and take inventory of the things that encourage me. All I really need to do, is to ask myself one simple question, "What encourages me?"

When I know what encourages me, I can use those experiences to bring me back to a positive outlook, even when I am faced with a discouraging situation. It is easy to get sucked in to those circumstances,  so I do not face the day without arming myself with this mindset.

I may not ever be able to eliminate everything that discourages me, but I can choose the way I will respond to the dark moments I face. A second question prepares me to shine. I simply ask, – "What will I do when I am faced with discouragement?" Knowing the answer to that question keeps me acting instead of just reacting in the moment. 

We Are In This Together

We don't always understand the fact that everyone, at one point or another, faces a discouraging moment. Sometimes we think that we are the only ones, and that we are doomed for failure. We must always remember that successful people are not people without problems; they are simply people who have learned to see beyond their problems. You and I can do the same thing.

Please take some time to ponder these two questions:

What encourages me?

What will I do when I am faced with discouragement?

Go ahead, allow yourself a few moments to consider all of the things that light up your world, then focus the rest of your day on walking in that light.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Acceptance

You and I will never attain the control that we think we need to survive. I don't think that means that we must not strive for it, because the quest for becoming our best certainly means that we will learn to control the things that really pertain to us. To be our best, we must also learn to let go of the things that do not pertain to us.

Sadly, we often put too much value on the things that hardly even matter. We create stories around our circumstances to make them more important than they really are, and then when things don't go exactly the way we dreamed they would we feel like we somehow have been ripped off. The rug is hard to pull out from under those who are not attached to the rug.

Life is both very long and very short.

It is long when we allow the things we can't control to consume us.

It is short, when we allow ourselves to extend our love to others. When we do that, no moment ever lasts long enough. 

I find it funny, that the same people we love are almost always responsible for bringing us the things we can't control. The nature of this dichotomy is what makes it difficult for us to accept and let go. It is easy to love someone enough to want the best for them, but it is quite another to love them enough to allow them to make their own choices and suffer the consequences. 

For some reason, we think that if we hold on, we will spare them the pain. It can never work that way. Pain and pleasure come from exercising our individual right of agency. If someone could actually prevent us from feeling the pain, they would also be preventing us from feeling the pleasure, because there is no way to feel one without the other. There just wouldn't be any way of comparing and contrasting how we feel.

Being Here

You and I are here. We often encumber ourselves with that false belief that we can control the universe. The truth is, we are only a mere part of the great whole. We become our best when we let go and surrender ourselves to the whole. Some of this may not make sense to you, and that is because I am still trying to make sense of it all myself. I am writing to help me see things as they really are – I am not there yet.

The awareness I seek will require me to face my fears and doubts with open arms. I have opened my clenched fist many times and discovered that what I thought I had, was never really there to begin with. It was only an illusion that I manufactured to feel safe and successful. The most amazing discovery is the realization that letting go leads to moments of gain not loss. My open arms make it possible to receive something new. Today I open them wide. I can't wait to see what comes my way. 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Both shows dealt with the power of choice. These weren't just daily choices, but they were life changing choices. The kind that are very difficult to make, and even more difficult to fix if the wrong one is made. 

Good and Evil

The classic battle of good and evil was portrayed before our eyes. I find it very interesting that both shows portrayed evil sometimes very despicably, and other times very subtly. 

In both episodes, really serious evil was portrayed as a monster. This type is easy for us to identify and only very few of us choose to follow that. But both also portrayed evil in the guise of people that look just like you and me. Their agendas were very evil, but their faces were very attractive. The characters on the show, and even some of the viewers, find it very difficult to discern if they are really evil, or if they are simply misunderstood by those around them.

Good was not portrayed in an over-the-top manner like the evil monsters. We were simply left to trust our instincts in who we think is good. Sadly, we were not always right. 

Lifetime Choices

Fortunately, very few of us experience the monstrous side of evil in our life times. I know it exists, but if you are reading, you have probably done a pretty good job of either avoiding it, or escaping its clutches. However, we all struggle with subtle shades of good and evil on a daily basis. We seek good, but it is often difficult to tell what good is, especially since politically, we are constantly redefining it.

Our choices shape our freedom and the quality of life we experience. When we are fooled into using our agency to choose something evil, we feel good at first, and then we discover the debilitating force of the dark side. It can make us feel discouraged. It can make us feel worthless. It always makes us feel encumbered. Those feelings are constantly with us until we become willing to admit that we made a bad choice. Our ego, makes it difficult for many of us to make this admission so we flounder in the ever increasing darkness that comes from one bad choice leading to another. 

Fortunately, only a few choices lead us to having no further choices. Everyday, we are capable of choosing who we want to become. We can move toward becoming our best possible self, or we can move toward becoming our worst possible self. The choice is ours.

You Have Changed

Sometimes we run into people that we haven't seen in a while and they say something like, "I can't believe how much you have changed." This phrase at time bothers me because I feel like I have always been the same in my core, but I recently came to realize that my choices have not always accurately portrayed who I am at my core. 

It took me many years to figure out how to radiate the energy and light that I feel at my core. Even today, I do not do it perfectly, but many of those around me can see the progress I am making. I am thankful that they are noticing, and even more grateful to discover that the choices I am making are leading me to be a better me.

How are you using your agency?

Will the choices you are making today propel you into becoming your best self?

Are you consciously making a choice between good and evil? or Are you letting life happen to you?

I value choice more than any other freedom. I am thankful that we have the power to choose. I don't always choose right, and I am thankful for that too because I always learn from the evil choices I make. They give me perspective and allow me the freedom of making new choices that redefine and reestablish my desire to make good choices. The best choices are made when we allow ourself the space to step out of the current moment and look at the long term repercussions. Remember, evil choices always feel good from a short term perspective. It is only after we either consider or experience the long term consequences that we are able to see their harm. Take a look at the choices before you, and go do the right thing!

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Inventing Reality

This caused me to have a deep conversation with myself about reality. An influential person in my life taught me nearly 20 years ago that I can invent whatever reality I want to invent. He told me that when I argue my limitations they become mine and I am stuck with them.

This is quite an amazing thought. Can it really be true? Is the only thing that limits our opportunities our own fears, doubts and/or willingness to accept the status quo? Do we really have the power to accomplish anything we want? What do you believe?

Almost a month ago I started on several very powerful and difficult challenges. I dreamed that I could accomplish these goals within a 90 day period. Many around me think I am crazy. This does not change the fact that I am doing things that they thought would be impossible. I am tired, and challenged but I am building the physical and mental muscles I need to make it happen. I look forward to the time when the rest of me becomes accustomed to the physical and mental exertion that my mind so easily embraces. I am getting tired of waiting for the rest of me to catch up with who I am becoming.

Making It Happen

Since I began this process I have not used an alarm clock. I wake up every day at exactly 4:30 AM. I have not felt tired when I get up. I have not felt like I want to stay in bed, even when my body is still sore, but I have yet to finish a day when I felt like I could keep going. In fact, when I finish, I can barely crawl into bed.

Despite what I am accomplishing, doubt sometimes creeps into my mind. Today I saw the immensity of the task at hand. I thought to myself, "How can I possibly believe that I can stretch myself in these ways?" I was consumed for a moment with the response, "I can't." But for some reason I just keep going, even when I didn't feel like I could keep going. I found my self screaming, "THIS IS NOT MY LIMIT." "I AM DESTINED TO BECOME A BETTER ME."

A Powerful Purpose Statement

I often reflect on a song titled "Corner of the Sky" from the Broadway Musical Pippin. The version I have, is sung by the great Diana Ross. The chorus of that song says – "Rivers belong where they can ramble, Eagles belong where they can fly. I've got to be, where my spirit can run free. Gotta find my corner of the sky."

What a great purpose statement. I don't want to be mediocre or normal. I want to continually push my limits and discover just who I am really capable of becoming. It is not easy being a "Master of Make It Happen." Each experience raises the bar, which means that I must continually be something better each time out. That is a lot of pressure to operate under, but it is the only way that I believe that we can truly satisfy the demands of continuous improvement.

What limits are you running up against?

How will you break through them?

As I tear down the walls of previous realities, I discover that I built those walls. I truly am the one who decides my own limits. My reality begins and ends by my own definition. I haven't figured out how to levitate or walk through walls but I no longer believe that it is impossible. I know it sounds crazy, but today the asphalt felt like foam padding. Go figure! 

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Results vs. Process

As I look, I realize that this is a common characteristic shared by many leaders. Sometimes, we get stuck on the result and we forget about the process required to create that result. We often get the result we want, but we don't always notice the cost. This is because we are persistent, focused and determined to reach that goal, no matter what the cost. 

Most leaders are able to see from point A to point Z. They are able to jump ahead and skip steps. The don't concern themselves with the "in between" steps, because they know they will figure out how to deal with it when they get there. In stead, they focus on the goal and they keep their eye focused on it until they get there.

Unfortunately, not everyone is programed that way. This behavior can actually be quite annoying to those who are following. Sometimes they only see the goal through the vision that the leader communicates. They cannot see the actual goal, instead they can only see what stands in the way of getting to it. 

The Road Builders

This perspective should not be criticized. Without it, the leader wouldn't get very far. It is vital to building the roads that are needed to make it to the top. The people who see things in this light make the journey possible. 

They are not always motivated by the result. In stead, it is the process that drives them. They do not need to stand on the top and look from point A to point Z. They do the work the connects the other steps that are needed. This is where they find their joy.

Speaking Both Languages

It took me a long time to understand the difference between these two perspectives. I was all about the results and I could not feel good when I was in process mode. 

The change came when I stopped on the top of mountain that I had hiked and looked out. It had taken me all day to get there, but after a few moments I was heading back down the hill. On my way down, a phrase I had heard finally made sense. The joy was in the journey and not standing on the top. The time on the top was only momentary, the thrill was in getting there.

It was then that I realized the beauty of process. It changed me for a while. I got so caught up in the process that I forgot about the results. It didn't take me long though to discover that forgetting about the results doesn't work either.

Leaders need to understand both process and results. They will normally prefer one or the other, but they must speak both languages. Once they figure out what their preference is, they need to surround themselves with other leaders who are strong in the other.

What is your preference?

Are you able to communicate both the vision (results) and the journey (process) to those who follow you?

Who can help you fill in the gaps?

The vision and the journey are both critical paths to success. It is not necessary for the Leader to be responsible for both. The best Leaders know their limitations and find other leaders to lead the areas that are out of their preference zones. Who are you surrounding yourself with?

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

It's Not My Problem

A couple of months into the assignment, my client and I were discussing an issue related to his well being. He was feeling some pressure at home and it was spilling over into work and creating some conflicts. He said he could see that he was lashing out at some of his team members because he could not lash out at home.

In the middle of the conversation, he blurted out – "The problem is my wife. She is doing a lot of things that are challenging our family. She is lazy and is expecting too much out of me. I am the "king" here and in my home, but she doesn't treat me like one. I want her to treat me like a king." It sounds kind of funny to write it down now, but that is exactly what he said.

The look on my face must have been one of disbelief because he immediately asked for my thoughts. I recognized that I was in a precarious situation. Our focus had shifted from the professional to the personal and I knew I had to tread lightly, but I also knew I had to be honest.

The King's Focus

For my first question I asked, "How does a "King" treat his "Queen?" I followed it up with "What is he willing to do for her?" These questions caused him to think and he began to relate the behaviors that you and I have read in all good books about kings. It was hard for him to miss the point as he answered "the king does everything for his queen."

I wasn't totally convinced that he got it, so I countered with, "How are you treating your Queen?" As we discussed his behavior, he quickly realized that he was not acting like a king. We talked about what he could do to rectify the situation and began a plan of action.

The King Within

It wasn't too long before I ran into his wife at one of the company's social functions. She approached me with haste and for a moment I was a little worried. Her first words were, "I don't know what you did to my husband, but please keep doing it." I enquired about what was going on and she said, "He sees me again." We didn't have time to get into all of what that meant, but I understood that he was making good on his goal of treating her like a queen.

After that, in nearly every conversation this man and I had, we spoke about his family and how he could become a better husband and father. The progress he made at home made him happy. His happiness spilled over into work and it wasn't long before his direct reports began to say something similar to what his wife had said, "we don't know what you are doing with our boss, but keep doing it."

The truth is, the only thing I did was ask the right question, but that is a very powerful thing to do. The question caused my client's eyes to open and he saw his own behavior. He did not have to do anything about it, but he chose to grow. He did the work. He developed himself and became the "king" of his home. His kingly side was always there, he just needed to develop it. Once he did, those around him began to treat him like a king.

Are you acting like a "King" or a "Queen"?

Do the people around you know that you value them and that you would do anything for them?

What can you do today that will make them more aware of your willingness to serve and love them?

I realize that love is a funny word to use in a professional sense and that some of you may not be married. That does not exclude you from this lesson. It is true that there are corrupt kings who treat their subjects poorly. You must not behave that way. You must be a noble "king" or "queen" and do your best to serve and love your people. It is the only way they will ever see you at your best.

I ran into my client and his wife at an event the other day. When he and I were alone, I asked him how things were going, and specifically how his wife was treating him. He flashed a big smile and said, "like a king". I couldn't have been more happy for him.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548

Because the lines were so short, we barely had any time to recover between each ride. I am not sure how to measure the speeds or g-forces that we were experiencing, but after a while, my body started to tell me that I needed to sit down and rest. The first warning was a feeling of dizziness, but then I started feeling sick to my stomach. I rested for a while and began to feel better.

The Track

Each of these fun filled rides followed a very similar pattern. They started in a covered area, transported us up some sort of a hill, and then unleashed upon us a series of free falls, loops, corkscrews and tight corners. The main variation was the way we were transported through these adventures. We experienced these thrills sitting down, standing up and even laying down.

It truly was a thrilling experience, but after a while I began to feel a sense of sensory overload. Because there was no waiting time, all of the rides began to feel the same. The anticipatory feelings and nervous energy was gone. We just ran through the line, got on the ride, got off the ride and moved on to the next ride. 

The Same Old Same Old

My body eventually adjusted to being in motion, but I began to feel very tired. The thrill was gone and I was ready to go home. We arrived at the park intending to stay until it closed, but by 5:00 PM, we found ourselves looking for the exit. 

We had a great time, but the experience had become common and we found ourselves just going through the motions. This happened because we did not break up the excitement with other activities. 

Sometimes this happens in our work. The experience of going through the motions leads to burnout. We know that we need to break things up, but we forget to do it, because there are so many attractions that call our attention. I like to plan my day so that I have mini-breaks built around each intense experience. This makes it possible for me to really get into something and then recover from the stress caused by the forward progress.  

Being In the Moment

This is my secret to staying in the moment with energy. I know that it is not important to fill every moment with forward progress. There is enough time in the day to take breaks too, so I do. I actually take a lot of them. I tell myself that I am going to move forward and then rest for a space. I purposely plan it that way, and that is why I get a lot done every day. 

Let's face it, we all goof off more than we would admit. I have discovered that if I goof off on purpose, I get more out it. These moments of day dreaming, or whatever they may be, restore my creative potential and get me back on track. 

What do you do when you find yourself going through the motions?

How do you get yourself back on track?

How much purpose is built in to your down time? Do you make sure your activities restore you?

Our down time can either restore us, or further deplete us. If we just sit around and waste it, it won't add to our renewal. It is sad when the things that thrill us become routine, but we don't have to go through that. We have the power to make the moments matter and the routine, a thrill. We just have to make it so.

Live Today! Love Today!

Andrew Thorn

760-559-3548